Saturday, January 28, 2006
I was just reading my monthly issue of Smithsonian (I'm almost 2 years behind in my reading: talk about pathetic). But, one of the articles was about scuba diving and sea life and such, and a wave of gratitude just flowed over me. Why? Because both Wes and I want to learn to scuba dive. And it just reminded me about how lucky I am to have him. We are so similar. We have similar goals for our lives. We enjoy the same things. We love to travel, learning new things, cooking, art. It's just a good fit. But it's also more than that. Wes would consider it an honor to HIM if I changed my name after we got married, not a gift to me that he is allowing me to use his name. Wes wants a baby with me because he wants to see what MY baby would look like, not HIS baby. Wes wants me to succeed because that's what I want, not because it would make him look good. He is entirely selfless when it comes to me. His goal in our relationship is to make me happy. His goal is to love me more than anyone else has ever loved me. His goal is to make me feel like I'm the only person on the face of earth who he even sees (well, except his kids, but that's different). I'm so grateful for this because I wasn't sure if such a love truly existed or if I would ever get to experience it. He once asked me if I took him for granted because he was so selfless. My answer was that I've been with enough men that I would NEVER take for granted someone who treated me so well. I want to make him happy. I want to love him more than anyone else has ever loved him. I want to make him feel like he is the only person on earth I see. I love him so much. I am grateful.