Wes talked to his x. According to him, it was a very good conversation. She adamantly denied that she told the kids that she left because Wes didn't love Victor. I'm very proud of Wes, because he didn't just go, "oh, it must be an understanding" but rather pointed out that both kids thought this and she better do something to correct it. Apparently there are some issues with the other two kids in the house. My husband pointed out that he doesn't give a crap about those kids when their behavior is negatively effecting his kids. He also let her know we would be happy to take Victor in the future to get him away from those bad influences. Since Allison is the only girl over there, she is not having the same problems as Victor, but we'd be happy to take her too. He said it was a great conversation and he feels much better about the situation. There is still a problem though: if Victor thinks it's his fault that they divorced (and apparently he does), denial, without telling the truth really won't change his mind. And she's not going to tell the truth because then her children would lose all respect for her. It really makes me wonder, what was she thinking? Did she really think they would never ask why she left Wes? Did she really think they would be the brady bunch? Did she really think the kids wouldn't want them to get back together again? I just don't understand it. I hope everything does get better, because the kids are great and they don't deserve to live like this.
Now something funny, because we can't have too much serious. I have a pregnant friend, and, to put it nicely, she has a border-line IQ. Here are a few examples:
When she called to tell me she was pregnant, I asked her if she had any idea how long she had been pregnant. This was her response, "I'm pretty sure I was pregnant before the day I took the test."
She and her husband were both shocked that she was pregnant, even though they were not using any form of birth control. Me: Well, you haven't been on birth control for 6 months, you can't be that shocked. Her: But we weren't expecting it. I mean, we didn't want a kid right now, so how did it happen?
After the sonogram, the doctor moved her due date up. Me: So, you've been pregnant longer than they originally thought? Her: No, they just got the due date wrong.
The doctor gave her a coupon for the drink Expecta. Her: I need to ask the doctor if I can drink this while I'm pregnant.
Discussing the possible sex of the baby. Her: It just doesn't seem right that I'm the mother and I don't know what sex the baby is. I guess it's just because this is the first one and I'll know next time.
Last phone conversation. Me: You sound sick? Are you ok? Her: I don't understand how I could have gotten sick. I mean, I'm supposed to be immune. Me: Um, actually, you can still get sick. Her: I guess the immunity just doesn't work at my parents house.
These are indeed actual conversations and I have not made any of them up. The sad part is that she grew up in foster care because her parents could not take care of her and she's terrified that she will not be able to take care of the baby and it will be taken away. The sadder part is, I'm afraid she may be right. She doesn't work and yet, her house is disgusting. I want to help her, but I can't do all this by myself. And her husband, he's in denial about the entire situation. And he's gone to sea. Her solution is to just hire someone to do it all. I think she needs to do it herself. I'm not sure how to go about the entire thing, but I'll figure it out.
Have a great weekend.