Tuesday, February 14, 2006

The other cheek

otherwise known as my ass. Thank you for all the comments. I thought maybe I was blowing things out of proportion, but you let me know that I wasn't. Even my mom, the most Christ-like, forgiving person I know told me it was time to let Andrea go because I don't need this and I have other, wonderful friends and will make even more when I move. (Actually, my mom said that Andrea and I never had as good a relationship as Camille and I, because both Camille and I worked on our friendship, even when it was hard.) What makes me very upset is that several of my graduate student friends have told me that they would try to find the money to come out in September. These are people who make less than $10,000 a year and people I've only known for several years, not 17 years. I talked to Camille, and we are going to find a way to get her to VA in September. That's what I really want anyway. I actually feel bad for Wes though. He was in absolute shock when I told him. He kept asking me if I was serious. He doesn't understand what is going through her head. And, one of the reasons I married him, he kept telling me how sorry he was that she hurt me and treated me like that. Because he is right. It does hurt. We've been friends for 17 years. That's a lot of history. I don't think I'm going to confront her, but I'm not sure how to phase her out either. Her birthday is this Friday. Do I acknowledge it in any way, or not? I've already decided she's not getting a wedding invite. I've never had to "break up" with a friend before. And, if it comes to a confrontation, I'm going to keep it focused on how she's a crappy friend, not on Wes. Because really, that may be the issue for her, but it's not the issue for me. I know he loves me and only me.

I hope everyone had a decent Valentine's Day. No, Wes didn't do anything for me, but since he's working 16 hour days, he didn't even realize it was this week. I did remind him, repeatedly, that my birthday is in a couple of weeks. I don't think he's going to forget that.


Bart's Camille said...

Maybe you just send her an off the shelf card that is signed "All the best, Stacia". Nothing wrong with keeping her on your christmas and special occasion card list. I'm going to try to send you an email later today. I want to know what you still need help with. Love you. Camille

Clarity said...

It's always hard breaking off a friendship, but sometimes you reach a point where enough is enough. Usually I just pull away slowly. Like the above note recommended appropriate yet distant Christmas cards and such. I hate confrontations too. By the way, the photos you posted a few days are really nice. You look beautiful. Take care!