wasting time

because I'm tired of doing homework and think I deserve some time to myself. However, since my pre-lims begin on April 3rd and I still have 2 incompletes that I have to finish before then, and pass a Russian reading exam, along with all the actual reading I have to do for my pre-lims, I really shouldn't allow myself any me time. I'll have plenty of time for that in the future. Like once Wes and I live together and we have children. Because all my married friends with children have a ton of time for themselves. sigh.

Yesterday I went to a talk my advisor gave about her new research. By the way, go buy her book. Her name is Francine Hirsch and it's offered on Amazon. It's called Empire Of Nations: Ethnographic Knowledge & The Making Of The Soviet Union. Anyway, her talk was amazing and her new research is really exciting. It was one of those presentations that makes me excited about being a historian. I know that sounds weird, but that fact is, historians often play a role in foreign and domestic policy, as well as international law. We just don't get credit for it.

Finally, would someone please back me up on this. The ex factor has hit, and she doesn't even know we're married yet. Wes's ex e-mailed him and asked him to buy a plane ticket for one of the kids so that they could go visit her family in Europe this summer (she is not American: Wes met her when stationed in Europe). Why should he buy a plane ticket for that? She left him and divorced him. If she wants to go visit family, she should get off her fat ass and get a job (I should add, her ass really is not fat: she's rather attractive). If she's that concerned about the kids seeing their grandparents, Wes and I will take them. But he is afraid that legally she can make him pay for this. I say, no way. He already pays child support, and this is not something necessary for life.

Anyway, back to the papers.

Girls' night out

Even though my birthday isn't until next week, the girls and I went out last night. And I can't figure out why that top picture is so small. Anyway, we went to a gay club here in the area. It was drag night. The girls in the picture are, from left to right, Jenni, Nadia, me, and Venus. Marijka is taking the picture (yes, I realize that means you can't see her). Anyway, the drag queens were ok: there were only three of them. However, the fact that they were all wearing extremely high heels, and one of them was wearing platforms, was extremely impressive. They also had strippers. The first stripper was dancing around and trying to get tips. We were trying to avoid eye-contact, because even if you're straight, that doesn't mean you want some guys ass in your face (and we didn't have any money). But this guy came straight over to Nadia, took off his belt and then turned around and started dancing and pulling down his pants. Nadia was freaking out: "What do I do?" Someone in the bar yelled, "Smack that ass!" So she did: several times. But she was very uncomfortable. It was hilarious. Later, they had a very non-cute, chubby stripper and he came right to our table. Marijka informed him we were all lesbians. He replied, "You should be." What does that mean? We didn't stay all that late. We left the second time the creepy stripper came out. But it was fun and really nice to get out. We sure did laugh a lot.

Finally, I realized I haven't written about stupid student stuff recently, so I need to correct that. Last week, my students had papers due. I had a student e-mail me, asking me what main points I wanted her to put in her paper. Doesn't that defeat the purpose of having them write papers? Today, the professor I'm TAing for explained that the mid-term and final will cover all the reading we have done for the class. A student immediately asked if the novels we've read will be on the mid-term. Last time I checked, you read novels, so yes, it would be on the mid-term. Although, the professor, when discussing the population decline of the 19th century talked about the most common form of birth control: male withdrawal. He then stated that the Catholic church didn't like this because, and this is a direct quote: Catholicism is about going all the way! He turned so red when he realized what he had said! But one of Venus's students takes the cake in regards to stupid things people do. This student e-mailed Venus and asked her to call her at 6:00am to let her know if the weather would be good enough to come to class. Yes, you read that right. Venus's student asked for a wake-up call. What a moron! Ok, I guess that's it. I hope everyone has a great weekend. I will be spending it in the library, in that cage. Yay library!

A Day in the life

Sorry I haven't posted in couple of days. I've had a cold, and all my lucid moments were spent reading for school. I thought I'd share what my normal day looks like though. This first picture is my office. I share it with three other wonderful women. Nadia and Venus keep me sane, listen to my problems and make me laugh my ass off. They are true friends. My desk is the one in the back left corner. Since it's hard to get anything done in my office when we're all in there (all we do is talk about sex), I spend a lot of time in the library. As a graduate student, I get a carrel. The above picture is my view into the library. The bottom one is the the actual carrel. Yes, it's that small. But, at least I have a window. Most of them don't.


This is the non-street view from my bus stop. It's really beautiful after a fresh snow and when it's warm, it is squirrel heaven. It's a blast to watch them run around. After I get home, I usually set the computer back up, check e-mail and read blogs. Then I cook dinner, eat while watching Simspon re-runs and then read the rest of the evening and talk to Wes. So there you have it. All the spaces I occupy during the day.

I hope no one else has gotten sick.

When it rains

it pours. Or, I have seriously pissed off some gods and I don't know how to fix it. Which of the bad news do you want first? We'll start with the bad and pathetic but I'll get over it. That paper that I was working on and turned in before I went to see Wes. The one I had to finish because it was due 2 1/2 years ago and I have to finish all my incompletes to pre-lim. The one that was keeping me from reading my pre-lim lists. Well, my professor wants to re-write it. It's not good enough. So, once again, I'll be spending large quantities of time, time I don't feel like I have, working on this paper. I'm going to be getting a lot less sleep for the next 6 weeks. I guess it's good Wes isn't here, because I get really pissy when I'm tired. My computer screen is also really dark. If it goes out, I will be so screwed, since as a student, it is my life.

The really bad news. Wes leaves for 6 months deployment this November. He was supposed to go next July, 2007, which would have worked well, because I am leaving for Russia in August 2007, so we would be gone at the same time. Now, he will miss Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, our first anniversary, Valentine's Day, my birthday. Then when I leave, I'll miss our Sep. anniversary, Thanksgiving, I'm planning on coming home for Christmas, but I'll miss our second official anniversary, Valentine's Day, my birthday, and should be home by July. Basically, over the next two years, the first two years of our marriage, we'll only be together for 6 months. This is going to be hard. But, on a good note, I will probably be able to see him next month, for a weekend. That's good. I'll take that, for now.

Wes is so sweet though. Last night, he asked if Andrea had "come to her senses yet and called and apologized." No, she hasn't, and no, she won't. I have decided I'll send her a birthday e-mail tomorrow and then try to let things fade after that.

Finally, I need some opinions. As most of you know, I don't want to ever be pregnant. I want to be a mom and I plan on adopting one or two kids, but I never want to push a baby out of my body. As a result, Wes wants to get snipped. I have mixed feelings about this. What do you guys think. If I say yes, he wants to do it asap so we don't have to worry about pesky birth control the few times we get to see each other.

ok, on to that paper.

The other cheek

otherwise known as my ass. Thank you for all the comments. I thought maybe I was blowing things out of proportion, but you let me know that I wasn't. Even my mom, the most Christ-like, forgiving person I know told me it was time to let Andrea go because I don't need this and I have other, wonderful friends and will make even more when I move. (Actually, my mom said that Andrea and I never had as good a relationship as Camille and I, because both Camille and I worked on our friendship, even when it was hard.) What makes me very upset is that several of my graduate student friends have told me that they would try to find the money to come out in September. These are people who make less than $10,000 a year and people I've only known for several years, not 17 years. I talked to Camille, and we are going to find a way to get her to VA in September. That's what I really want anyway. I actually feel bad for Wes though. He was in absolute shock when I told him. He kept asking me if I was serious. He doesn't understand what is going through her head. And, one of the reasons I married him, he kept telling me how sorry he was that she hurt me and treated me like that. Because he is right. It does hurt. We've been friends for 17 years. That's a lot of history. I don't think I'm going to confront her, but I'm not sure how to phase her out either. Her birthday is this Friday. Do I acknowledge it in any way, or not? I've already decided she's not getting a wedding invite. I've never had to "break up" with a friend before. And, if it comes to a confrontation, I'm going to keep it focused on how she's a crappy friend, not on Wes. Because really, that may be the issue for her, but it's not the issue for me. I know he loves me and only me.

I hope everyone had a decent Valentine's Day. No, Wes didn't do anything for me, but since he's working 16 hour days, he didn't even realize it was this week. I did remind him, repeatedly, that my birthday is in a couple of weeks. I don't think he's going to forget that.

What the hell?

My matron of honor just called me. I guess, since Wes and I are already married, the flight to Virginia (because we offered to pay for the hotel) is just too much for a couple who makes $150,000 a year. Especially since they pay $1,200 a month in rent, only have one car payment and no student loans. Yeah, I can see how those plane tickets would be a stretch. I don't even know what to say. Especially since she's going to a destination wedding in Hawaii next month: for a co-worker. Opinions? I am proud of myself though, because I knew this was going to happen (Wes said there was no way she would do this), and I didn't ask her if the real issue was because I married Wes and not money. I am really pissed though. Especially since she offered to come out some other time to visit. I guess this just shows who your real friends are.

After sleeping on this, I'm seriously considering dropping her as a friend. She's always been high maintenance. Sometimes she would quit talking to me because "you know what you did." I didn't and I'm not a mind reader. Or three. She's very much a take, take, take friend. And, if you don't remember, when I told her that Wes was interested in me, her reply was "he's just interested in you because I'm not available." Hence the fact that I think this has little to do with finances and more to do with Wes. Do I just let it fade: never answer her calls or return them? Or do I tell her that I honestly think she's a bitch and have only maintained the friendship because she's constantly telling me she doesn't have any other friends and is not having any luck making new friends, so I felt sorry for her (and yes, this is the truth: I've discussed it with Camille). There are good things about her, but I don't think they outweigh the bad at this point. I have too much good stuff going on in my life to drag around crap like this. I guess I have made up my mind, but now I just have to figure out how to do it.

Presenting

This is Wes and I from Saturday night's Naval formal. Do we look hot or what? Look at all his medals! Only one other person there had more than him: the Captain.

But, let's start from the beginning. I got to Wes's Thursday night: an hour and a half late. Stupid mechanical problems. That night we just crashed. Nothing exciting. Friday morning, we got up and got married. Yes, you read that right. Wes and I got married this weekend by a Justice of the Peace. We were married by 9:30am. We're still going to have a "wedding" and reception in September, but since Wes is in the military and you never know what's going to happen there, and since I'm a poor graduate student with little to no medical benefits, we decided to get married. We're still having a wedding ceremony because his kids don't know, and we want them to understand that this does change things, not just that we have a piece of paper and now we live together. The rest of the day was spent making sure we were married ;)
Saturday, we went to check out reception sites and we went to the formal. The formal was nice, but long. Everyone was very congratulatory (they knew before-hand) and they even toasted us. Yesterday we started looking at honeymoon stuff and larger apartments. Then I came home. Very late. I will catch up on your blogs later. I'm not ignoring you, I just have a ton of stuff to do.

This marriage thing. The opinions have been a little varied and a little weird. I told my parents last weekend that we were going to do it, and Wes told his dad. They were all excited for us and supportive. And they all think we should still have the September thing for the family. Camille knew before my parents knew. As usual, she always makes me think about my decisions, and she was also supportive. I called my siblings after the fact, and they were very excited (especially my 19 year old sister who wants to get married next year: too young!). My Grandmere was a little surprised, but happy. My grandparents understood. But, neither one of them understood why we're still having the September thing. I'm sure my parents will talk to them and hopefully they'll be able to come. My matron of honor, and I quote: what did you do that for? She said it won't make a difference, she will still come out in Sep., but she seemed a bit shocked. She doesn't have kids, so she doesn't understand that aspect of it. She wants to know why we don't just have a party in TX. Why? Because I hate TX. And, it's for his kids. And it's going to be a military thing. We'll see. If she decides to bail that's her business. Everyone else is getting e-mails: I just can't call everyone. And there will be formal invitations for September.

Well, I believe that is all. I need to eat and clean this mess and go to work and get groceries and I have 72 papers I need to grade by Wednesday. And I miss my husband.

I need a title

I'm almost finished that paper. I need a title. And I need one last oomph of energy to completely finish it. Every time I read it, I think, well, this is good, but I should have done this, or read this or added this or looked at this. But it is only a 20 page paper, and the professor doesn't expect me to write a definitive work on the subject. I picked a subject that hasn't really been written about, so, if anything else, I should get credit for that. I'm trying not to stress out about the grade, because he's pretty cool. And, this means I'll have time to study for my pre-lims. Yay!!!

I picked my dress up today. I tried it on when I got home. It looks great. I tried out make-up colors and they made my eyes pop. I'm getting very excited. I leave Thursday after I teach my classes. I can't wait to post pictures and fill you all in on the weekend.

ok, that's about it. Just wanted to let you know I was still alive and not hiding in the library in the fetal position crying (because I've never, ever done that!).

Thank you

I just want to thank all you guys for your support. I needed it. I think I'm fine now (kind-of). I realized I probably read the price list wrong, and that $2,000 was the minimum food and beverage cost, not an additional fee (hey, if you were stressing out about half a million other things and PMSing you might have mis-read it too). Wes and I are going to go see the place next week, and I really hope it's as nice as it looks on-line, because it covers a lot of stuff, including recommendation for DJs, which would just make my life so much easier.

I am still stressing out about school stuff. I really want to write a good paper, since it was due 2 1/2 years ago, but I have to finish it before I leave to see Wes. I'm not getting any prelim reading done, because I'm concentrating so much on this paper. But I do have study groups for my other stuff, so I guess I'm getting some stuff done. I'll just feel a lot better after I turn in that paper. I really do think I can spit it out this weekend if I don't do anything else, including sleeping.

I leave to see Wes next Thursday. There's a formal Navy dinner we're going to. I bought a very pretty gold colored dress. I found jewelry that matches the beautiful purse Camille got me for Christmas. I'll post pictures when I get back, and let you know about the reception place. But I can't wait to see Wes, because it might be May before I see him again.

Camille, sorry I had to go so quickly yesterday. My 3:00 appointment showed up early. I'm so glad I got to talk to you though. I miss you so much. I loved the pictures!

thanks again. Think intellectual thoughts my direction this weekend so I can finish this paper!