Thursday, November 27, 2008

Defying logic

You always hear new parents talking about the indescribable love they feel for their babies. How they didn't really know what love was before they had a baby. How they would die for their baby. How everything in life changed and became more meaningful and real after they had a baby. And they sound so, weird. I mean, I knew having a baby did those things, I just didn't think it was as significant as they made it out to be. And then I had Navy Bean.

But, those feelings just don't make any sense at all. I mean, lets look at the facts. In phase 1 of Navy Bean's life, she made me fat, she kicked me, she kept me from having good sleep, I couldn't eat certain foods that I love (like certain cheeses) and because I was so wobbly, I couldn't bird watch the way I wanted. Nothing there that really elicits unconditional love.

Phase 2: she ripped me a new one, she shredded my nipples, she kept me from getting any sleep (so it felt), she cried for no reason, she pooped more than any person should poop, she peed on the couch, and just this morning, while getting her out of her bath, she pooped on me.

Phase 3: we really don't know yet. I mean, genetically, she should be intelligent, but also strong willed and stubborn. And we really don't know how she'll turn out. She may be horrible. She may never amount to anything. She may save the world. We just don't know.
Yet, I melt when I see her. I'm filled with absolute joy when she smiles at me (it's not gas!). I feel unconditional, undying love when I stroke her little head. I love holding her, even when she's crying (for a while). She has become my life and I can't imagine it without her.
And it dawned on me. That's kind of how God loves us. We don't deserve his love, yet it's there. He even knows whether or not we'll reject him, and yet, he loves us. How awesome is that!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!


Anonymous said...

You are making my ovaries ache! So beautiful!

Bart's Camille said...

And there you have it... Welcome to the club honey, I've been waiting for you!!! xoxoxoxoxoxo

Sandi said...

She is so beautiful, Stacia. I'm so glad your family expanded.

David said...

Ditto to what Sandi said...and I LOVE that it any where else lately? lol

tbooty said...

what a beautiful post. so happy for you.