Things that drive me crazy about kids

and that I totally don't understand.

Real life conversation, except about 15 minutes long instead of the 3 minutes it will take you to read this.

V: Daddy, can we go see your ship!?!
D: Yes, let's go see the ship where I work for the Navy.
As we're driving to the Naval base
V: Wow, there's a lot of Naval base signs. Why?
D: Because we're going to see Daddy's ship, on the navy base.
V: We're going to see your ship!?! You work on a naval base!?!
D: Yes, I work on the naval base on a ship.
As we pull up to enter the base
V: Are we on the naval base?
D: Yes, we're on the naval base, to go see daddy's ship.
V: Wow, look at all those ships with guns. Are we on a military base?
D: Yes, we're on the naval base to go see daddy's ship.
V: We're on the naval base!?!
D: Yes, to see the ship where daddy works.
V: You work in the navy!?!
D: Yes.
V: Wow, look there's more ships. Are we on a military base!?!
And continue for the next 10 minutes or more until we reach the ship.
On the ship:
V: Is this where you fight the bad guys?
D: We don't really fight anyone. We just sail around.
Next room
V: Is this where you fight the pirates?
D: We don't really fight anyone. We just sail around (I should add that the ship he is on actually does fight pirates and drug smugglers).
Next room
V: Is this where you fight the bad guys?
Continue until off the ship.
On the way home.
V: What happens if bad guys came and attacked your ship and used ropes to fly over the water to get on your ship?
D: That's not going to happen.
V: But what if it did?
D: It wouldn't.
V: What if aliens came down to your ship?
D: That wouldn't happen.
V: But what if it did?
Continue this line of questioning until we reach home.

On a more positive note, I have exchanged e-mail addresses and/or phone numbers with four different women. They are all navy wives, but I think I'll really get along with at least two of them (that's pretty good odds). This makes me happy. And, one of the women I met today and think I will really like is married to a real Russian whose hobby is Russian history. We all plan on getting together for dinner real soon.

I also burned my thighs at the beach yesterday. But, yesterday was a great day.