Tuesday, August 23, 2005

1 million things to do

and only 2 weeks to do them. And my mom is coming this weekend. School starts on Sep. 2nd and Wes comes that day (hopefully he'll make it a couple of days sooner, but who knows). Let the fun begin!!! I'm feeling good and alive and thrive on stress. Thank god, because that's the only way I'm going to get through the next year.

So, weekend at my grandparent's. It went well. I actually think my grandpa looks good. I think my grandma just gets worried (and hopeful?) about my grandpa. He is, however, ordering crap out of magazines and not paying for it. Grandma isn't sure what to do about that, except read all the mail before he does and pay the stuff, and cancel some of his subscriptions. At least they actually have the money to pay: I know these type of places prey on older people who don't always understand how it works (the type of place that sends stuff for "your inspection" and then you send it back if you don't want it). I also feel bad for my grandma: she has always been a caretaker to grandpa (disabled WWII vet), but as he's gotten older, it's put more and more stress on her. And I know sometimes she feels like no one worries about her and her health. And, she feels guilty because she wants to do things that grandpa can't do, like: take a walk, travel, dance. You know, everyday stuff for the rest of us. I don't know what's going to happen, but I hope that . . . well, let's just say I hope grandma is still around after he goes, so she can enjoy some of the things she never had an opportunity to enjoy before.

My mom's coming to visit this weekend. I'm very excited about that. We're going to go to the Farmer's Market and other stuff. Very excited.

My laptop shipped today!!!! I'm so excited about that, because now I'll have it before school starts and get at least try to figure it out before then.

Now, on to a more serious subject: Wes and Charley. For some unknown reason (ok, I know the reason and I even understand it), Wes called Charley. For those of you who don't know, Charley is my ex. A very serious ex. We lived together and we talked about getting married. Charley is also Wes's ex bestfriend. Charley was the best man in Wes's first wedding (yes, there is going to be a second). Charley quit talking to Wes when Charley and I broke up because Wes remained friend's with me and Charley just couldn't handle that. So I understand that Wes misses his friend. And like he said, he didn't expect Charley to talk to him: he hasn't in the last 5 years, so why would he now? Well, maybe because his dad just died of cancer, and he needs friends. But, the first thing Charley told Wes was that he didn't want to talk about me. So, now, Charley doesn't know about Wes and I. Wes hopes that he'll eventually get to a place where he'll be able to accept it and still be friends with Wes, but I don't know. Wes said the last conversation they had started leaning towards me, but that then Charley stopped himself. But Wes thinks that eventually Charley is going to ask for my number. He said he wasn't going to give it to him. I asked him how he was going to explain why not. He said he hadn't thought of that. So, this is the plan: for now, neither one of us will say anything. If he calls me, I'll tell him I'm in a serious relationship and don't feel comfortable talking to him (yes, I still love him: yes, Wes knows this). And Wes will just try to wait as long as possible before he tells him. Because he thinks Charley may just disappear, just like he has before, and then we don't have to worry about it. Talking about him made me want to talk to him though. I don't want to be with him. I want to be with Wes. But I started feeling sorry for him. Which really made me feel sorry for him. But I can't do anything for him. I hate this situation. I keep waiting for the phone to ring and to hear his voice. I hope that never happens.

Ok, I have a ton of stuff, as I said at the beginning.


Kymmie said...

HI SWEETIE! WELCOME BACK! I have beenout of for a while, so I didn't get to catch up with you!

Queen of Ass said...

Sorry I missed it, but hope you had fun!