Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Longings of various shades: black

Black, like your hair: thick and curly. Looking good short or long. Above your black eyes and dimples, which made you look more like a little boy than a man. And I still wonder, after all these years (4 1/2 since we broke up) why couldn't you get your shit together? Not for me, not even for us, but for yourself. You thought I was everything and I thought you were everything. If I was everything to you, and I thought you were everything, why didn't you think you were everything to you? You wanted to be my knight in shining armor. But it was your own demons you couldn't save me from. I don't want you back. I just want you to be happy. I want this hole in life to go away. But no matter how good anything looks, it still doesn't look like you.

Stacia: not a damsel in distress

3 comments:

Bart's Camille said...

Sorry girl. Certainly didn't intend to set your mind on Charley. He's an idiot. Plain and simple. He valued a PLANT over your love. What a moron. He will find someone that loves him "in spite of" his obsession and then he'll realize what he's cheated himself out of, allowed himself to settle for. Poor, stupid Charley.

Stacia said...

It wasn't you. I think it's just Christmas and I'm alone again. And even though that doesn't bother me too much, it's just this time of year. Like I said, I certainly don't want him back, and try as I might, I can't figure out why the chemistry was so strong. It just proves that love is not enough. Just wish I could figure out what is.

Kymmie said...

I totally understand. I cannot figure out how I ended up sating some people that I ever did. What was it? I'm not sure.

You're strong. You can do this.

You can lean on all who know you.