Pack it up!

The baby's room, otherwise known as the office, is slowly, but surely, getting cleaned and organized. I almost cried when I had to pack up most of my books though. I only packed the books I have read, but still, how do I know I won't want to read Achebe, Conrad, Dickens, Atwood, or any of my other old favorites. I felt like I was packing up my friends. My husband assures me it is only temporary, and I know it is. Not to mention the close to 200 books I didn't pack up because I haven't read them yet, or the three tall bookshelves in the dining room that are filled with my Russian literature and history books (yes, I've read almost all of these). Those, I just can't pack. Thankfully, I don't have to. But it is slowly sinking in that my life is about to radically change. This time, two years ago, I was working on a dissertation proposal, looking forward to doing a year long research trip to Russia and hoping that someday I would be a professor. Now, I'm 5 1/2 months pregnant, have two step-kids, and a husband who is a naval officer. I want to eventually become a middle school teacher, but really want to be a stay at home mom first. Life is funny. And I'm very happy, but very scared as well.

This is my first baby. We have no baby things. My husband's kids are 10 and 7 and even if they had kept the baby stuff, they would have gotten rid of it during the divorce. Several people have asked me about a baby shower. I don't think I'm going to have a baby shower. You see, I'm not really that good at making friends. I lived in Texas for 14 years and the only friend I took away with me (other than my husband, but he was more like an acquaintance for the 15 years before we got married) is Camille. And I love Camille with all my heart and she more than makes up for any lack of friends on my part. In Madison, it was easy for me to make friends. We were all in graduate school together. I actually made a lot of friends there, people I'm still in touch with, even though hardly any of us are in Madison now. But here, here it's been harder. When you're a substitute teacher, you move around and don't stay anyplace long enough to make friends. And every time another navy wife and I become friends, they end up moving away. IQ doesn't really count as a friend. But, I finally met someone I really like and someone who wasn't in the navy and someone who wanted to give me a baby shower (one of the navy wife's did too, but then she moved). I met this person through IQ but she is smart and funny and I really like her. She's moving next week to California. Go figure. So, that leaves nobody to give me a baby shower. I go to church and I'm in a Sunday school class, but it's a hard way to make real friends. I'm a little disappointed about not having a baby shower, but I know I'll be getting packages from all over the country (and maybe the world). I'd still like to have a friend who lives here though. Camille, why can't you move here???