Christmas Spirit

Sometimes I hate blogspot. Did you notice that the copy and paste function no longer works and it's nearly impossible to actually move a picture once it's in your blog? As a result, this blog is going to be even shorter than it was going to be originally. Merry Christmas! I have to go do laundry now.

Substitution, but not lacking

Yesterday I substituted for a high school Spanish teacher. One of the students was a very earnest, mature junior. She was half Russian, spoke fluent Russian and had taken 5 years of Spanish. Oh, to have had that type of advantage at her age. We talked, extensively about her career options, what she liked to do, what she didn't like, what colleges she might go to, what she might major in, what her parents wanted. She was so well spoken, so put together that I forgot she was a high school student. I thoroughly enjoyed speaking to her and at the end of class, thanked her for humoring me by talking to me. I was surprised when she thanked me, sincerely, for talking to her. That she felt better about her future and her options. And she hoped she would see me again. I really hope I do see her again.

That's my problem!

I finally figured out what my problem is. I was raised to be an ambitious woman. I was raised to be a goal-oriented woman. I was raised to accomplish great things. And right now? I have lost all direction. Since I was 15 years old the goal was to get my Ph.D. Well, that went out the window last year. And while I miss certain aspects of school, I really do feel better off without the hassle. But then I fell into a deep dark depression because I had nothing to focus on. Cue the baby desire. I redirected all my goals and ambitions towards creating a family, with new children. Children can grow up to be great adults, adults who credit their moms (and sometimes their dads) with how great they are. Now, well, my cervix has rebelled (oh, my dr.'s appointment got moved to Dec. 31st). Now I have nothing to focus all my ambition and intelligence and, most importantly, my greatness, on. I am lost.

I have decided, when people ask me what I can do with two MA's in the same subject, instead of hanging my head in shame and softly whispering "nothing," I will look them in the eye and declare, "Lord it over people who don't have two MA degrees." When people ask what I do, instead of claiming to be a temporary substitute, until I figure out what I really want to do, I will look them in the eye and declare, "I am the best damn substitute in Virginia Beach, and I am also an awesome wife!" There is no shame in enjoying where life has placed me. I will read books because I enjoy reading them, not because I bought them and so I should read them. I will enjoy crocheting because because it ties me to my grandma, and because I want people to know that I thought about them while I worked, not because there's some arbitrary deadline, like the birth of a baby or Christmas. I will enjoy cooking because it is fun, it is creative and I'm really good at it, dammit, and I want my husband to have a wonderful experience at dinner, not just gain sustenance. I will enjoy sex because it was created to be enjoyed! Screw what I know about my husband's past. Screw my past. And screw my husband like he's going to die tomorrow! I will exercise because I enjoy it, I enjoy looking good and having energy, not just because I have high cholesterol and I'm paying for a gym membership.

I will enjoy being me! Because I am smart, funny, talented and creative! Because I deserve to get to know who I am without all the goals, ambitions, and stress of always getting it done, doing it right and always needing something to brag about. This will be my year of NO STRESS, NO DEPRESSION, and NO WORRIES. This is going to be MY YEAR! I am going to be proud of who I am and what I do, even if you don't think it amounts to jack. Because you know what, I don't care what you think. This is going to be MY YEAR! That's my new mantra. Maybe you should try it to.

Party like you're in the navy!

I no longer have chunks. Therefore, I was able to attend the Navy Christmas party. The food was really good, the dessert table vast, and the dancing ok. As you can see, I was incredibly over-dressed. And by over-dressed I mean I wasn't dressed like I was attending the high school prom. There were more loose boobies at this thing than you would believe. But I had been sick, so I didn't want to risk getting cold. Besides, my husband still thinks I'm the best looking wife.

Us, actually out of the house and having fun.

Don't ask, don't tell, my ass!
Getting down and dirty with those freaky navy girls.
The only real friend I have here.

We had a great time. We drank (only a little bit), we danced and we laughed a lot. We didn't win any prizes, but we still had a great time. Next year I'm going to buy a holiday dress!

Immune System??? Hello?!?

I am sick again. With something completely different. I'm starting to think I don't have an immune system. Or that it is addicted to drugs or Perez Hilton, or something that makes it unable to do its job. It may even be offering advise: "Oh, hey bacteria, you know, she hasn't had a respiratory infection yet. Why don't you head to her lungs!" I spent yesterday morning at the doctor's instead of church. He tested me for: strep throat, mono, flu, and x-rayed me for pneumonia. I had to tell both the nurse and the doctor that no, my tonsils are NOT swollen, that is their normal size. He let me see my x-rays too. I had never had any taken, much less seen them. I don't have pneumonia. I have a simple upper respiratory infection, with chunks. He gave me two different medicines, both that have four warning stickers on them, and not one of them the same. I am now sensitive to extreme light, unable to drink alcohol, unable to take multi-vitamins or minerals and both medicines could make me drowsy and/or dizzy. Oh, and my favorite, if I take too much cough medicine, it could cause "serious breathing problems." I love medicines that fix the problem by possibly making it worse first. The doctor also checked my blood work to make sure I have an immune system. Apparently I do, it is just lazy and hates me. In the last 5 weeks, being ill has cost me $1500. I am supposed to be at work today and the rest of the week. Guess where I'm not? I'm going to go take a nap.