Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Just guess

Guess whose husband is leaving next week and will be gone for six months?
I know this one!!! That would be MY husband!!!
Guess who is no longer a UW doctoral student?
Guess who has to get up at 5:00am on Friday to get a Will made, in case her husband is killed while he's gone for six months?
Guess who is going to the neurologist next week to find out why she's having headaches in which the left side of her face goes numb, she loses vision in her left eye, and sometimes it feels like there's railroad stakes going through her left eye through the back of her head (like right now)?
I know this one too!!! It's me!!!
Guess who, at age 32, just got kick dropped by a bitch of an advisor and now, after 12 years in college, doesn't know what she's going to do with her life?
That one's easy! It's me again!!!

Wasn't that a fun game!!! Only it's not a game; it's my life.
I'm trying to stay positive about all of this, but it's really hard sometimes. It's hard to know that within the last 10 months I've gotten married, moved across the country, become a step-mom, lost my life dream and now my husband's leaving for six months and the only two people I consider friends in VA are also leaving. All my friends have been very great and supportive throughout this whole ordeal that has become my life. I'm very thankful for that and for my friends. But in some ways, this is still something I have to do by myself.

Things I can now do that I never had time to do when in graduate school:
Catch up on my Smithsonian subscription. I am currently 2 years behind in my magazine reading. Now I know that "normal" people would just throw them out, but the fact that I spent 12 years in college should have already proven that I am not normal.
Read lots and lots of novels. And not feel guilty about it.
Strangely, I want to read history books. But not about Russia. I know very little about the rest of the world. I think I'll just start checking out general history books at the library. I think that would be fun.
I can cook!!! If you have read this blog for any amount of time you know that I often complain about not having time to cook. I now have time to cook.
Learn more about finance. My husband is really interested in stock, options, and futures. I should learn about them to keep him from losing all our money (just kidding. He wouldn't lose ALL of it).
I would love to learn more about bird watching and photography. I know this area has clubs for both and with my free time (since my husband will be gone) maybe I can do that and meet people.
Try to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I sent out two job applications yesterday. They were for community colleges. Today I think I am going to look into substitute teaching at highschools. I think teaching highschool (not subbing, but being a teacher) might actually pay more and offer more benefits than community colleges. And who knows, maybe I'll really enjoy it.
Spend more time with my plants and learn about them. I'm not even sure what some of them are.
Learn to play piano again.
I guess this list is long enough for now.

Today I have a ton of stuff to do and I don't want to do any of it. I really just want to crawl back into bed and sleep all day. But, this is the last day my husband works before he leaves, and I'm putting together a photo album for him from the kids. I guess I should do that today, because I really don't think he knows. I'm also making ones for the kids. And the house is a mess. Sometimes, it doesn't really matter though. Hope everyone has more direction than I do.


minnie said...

wow! that's a lot to absorb! i'm here if you need to talk/vent/whatever.

Bart's Camille said...

hi sweet girl. this is just a big wide open doorway for you. a little scary, like the first day of school.... remember that? but then you get comfy and you get engrossed in jenny m. and me and heath and scott and mike... and in the end what do you end up with? some weird memories and a best friend for life, so, you just never know do you? as far as hubby being gone, well, call me often and we can just bitch and cry about it okay? after 3:15pm I am usually home. i love you and i can't wait to see you soon and give you a big squish.

Queen of Ass said...

I'm What? What on earth happened????