Thursday, October 19, 2006

Dear Creepy Fat Gym Guy,

I would like to start by pointing out that I am a grown, adult, mature woman. I am not 6 or 9 or 14 or even 18. Therefore, while I was swimming approximately three times as fast as you, I was not impressed with your pathetic doggy style swimming where you had to stand up every three feet to breathe and then looked to see if I were watching you. If you had been one of my children, I would have clapped, but, you are not. I do not appreciate that, after only swimming three laps, you got into the jacuzzi and watched me swim for a while. And then went to the locker room for about 5 minutes, I'm praying to go to the bathroom, and then came back out. I really do not appreciate the fact that you then dove into the pool, even though there are multiple DO NOT DIVE signs posted. The splash did not impress me. And I do not know what you were thinking when you asked me if I wanted to race. We both already knew I could outswim you. Thankfully, when I said no, you went away.

However, you decided that when I was having a discussion with another grown up about a possible teaching position open at a real university in the area, which she was encouraging me to apply for, that you ran up to talk about teaching. I'm sorry your "friend" is such a crappy teacher that he may be fired and that he is apparently too stupid to figure out how to handle the situation. As the woman pointed out after you left, since there is teaching shortage, your "friend" must be the world's worst teacher anyway.

I REALLY do not appreciate that you were sitting in your truck when I left the gym and that you began to follow me. That kind of freaked me out. I do, however, appreciate the fact that when you realized I knew you were following me, that you did an illegal turn to no longer follow me. That was a smart move.

In conclusion, dear creepy fat gym guy, if you ever see me again, it would be in your best interest to ignore me since my husband, who works with weapons all day long, did not appreciate your attention towards me either.



Queen of Ass said...

Ieeew! Guys like that should come with warning labels!

Bart's Camille said...

Clueless, pathetic loser. Next time tell him you'll tell the gym manager, your husband, and the cops if he ever talks to you again. What a piece of crap.

Beth said...

Stacia, you freaking rock! That is the funniest post I've read in a long time (especially the part about how your husband works with weapons all day)!

minnie said...

holy shit girl. that would've freaked me out too! blech!