I feel like I could drink at least half a bottle of vodka right now, right out of the bottle. You know, real lady like. At least enough vodka to pass out or forget or float or whatever. This is the first time in at least a year that I have wanted to drink this bad. Or just be a really bad girl with some nameless beautiful face. I just feel like I'm floating in myself and I can't get there to myself. I'm too far away and I don't know if I want to go there anyway. Afraid of what I won't find. Maybe I'm not really there after all.