Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Tough choices

First, I just want to say that I had a conversation with IQ about what a circumcision was. Apparently, she just didn't remember. Secondly, she did have several pregnancy/baby books, she just didn't read any of them. And still, wouldn't you ask the doctor what is was before you let them do it to your baby?

You know how you have the problem that you think you took care of, or took care of itself, but then it pops up again? You know how it's usually a person. Yeah, mine too. Her name is Andrea, and you might remember her as the woman who said, when, I told her that Wes was interested in me, "he's only interested in you because I'm not available." Yeah, that great friend. Well, we quit talking to one another, but about a year ago, she e-mailed saying she missed me and wanted to be friends again. I gave it another shot because we had been friends for so long. Needless to say, we haven't exactly been best buddies since all this happened. But we have talked and even seen each other. The last time I talked to her was for her birthday, in mid-Feb. At that time I told her we were trying to get pregnant. I haven't heard from her since. This week (amid all the crap going on with IQ), I received a notice that I will receive honey from a bee hive that Andrea leased for me. It's a birthday present. My birthday is March 1st. We've only been friends since we were 15. I have a hard time thinking she seriously forgot when my birthday was. You'll also notice that I haven't received a call or an e-mail. This really got me thinking.

Since I hadn't heard from Andrea since Feb. I really thought I wouldn't hear from her again, and honestly, I wasn't that upset about it. She's always been a fickle friend, showing up when she needed a friend and disappearing other times. If you're really following things, you'll also realize that this timeline means that Andrea does not know I'm having a baby. I thought I wouldn't hear from her again, so why make a point of telling her. But now, I don't know. After thinking about it for a couple of days though, I realized, I don't want her to know. Why? Well, quite frankly, because I don't want to hear her negativity (when I told her Wes and I got married, her reply was, "what did you do that for?"). And if I don't want to tell her, why do I want to be friends with her? And I realized, I don't. So I am going to send her a thank you note, but I'm not going to tell her I'm pregnant. If she calls, I'm not going to answer. If she e-mails, I'm not going to respond. Maybe I'll send her a Christmas letter, with a picture of the family (and the baby), but I don't know. I don't think I owe her an explanation after everything she's done. I think I'm just going to let this relationship die. My life is moving in happy, positive directions, and I don't need any negative people bringing me down. I've got too much going for me to listen to those people. I'm having a baby!!!!


Beth said...

I think it's a smart decision. There's really no good that comes from keeping negative people in your life! If the only reason you can think of to stay friends with someone is "we've been friends for a long time," it doesn't seem that the friendship is worth saving. You have wonderful positive things happening in your life (have to admit it, I'm a wee bit jealous! But jealous in a "I'm happy for you" way!) and you certainly don't need to have negativity around you.

Btw, have you and Wes told the kids yet? If so, what do they think of having a little sister or brother on the way?

Stacia said...

We have not told the kids yet. They have no sense of time, so I'm going to wait until I'm showing, at least a little bit. And I'll have to tell them by myself, which is a little scary. I'm sure I'll let everyone know how that goes.

Sandi said...

We waited to tell Capt. Stinky too. We waited until I was showing too much for it to be ignored. He's still having trouble waiting, but he can actually SEE the baby belly now, at least, and he knows they're on their way.

Honey is sometimes a bad idea when you're pregnant anyway. (Verify with your doc.)

I remember when you talked about her before. It seems to me like she's more stress than anything for you, and this is a time when you're supposed to be relatively stress-free! So yeah, I agree, too. Make choices to make your life happy.

Tiffany said...

Good call, she is not worth it at this point in your life. If only she made a better effort. You need to focus on all the positives that have and will continue to come your way.

Ciao bella