Misfortune

I realize that I really like most of the books I read. The problem with this is that after giving glowing reviews to good, and even great work, I have a hard time convincing people when I've read something truly magnificent. I have just read something truly magnificent. Amazingly magnificent. Unbelievably magnificent. Enchantingly magnificent.

I have just read Misfortune by Wesley Stace. Not only is this novel magnificent, it was also Stace's debut novel. He now has a life-long devoted fan. Misfortune takes place in England in the 1800's. A baby, taken from a dying mother during a botched abortion, is left on a trash heap to die. She is picked up by a very rich lord and adopted as the next heir and named Rose. Only, she is a he. Her father, terribly missing his sister, who died at age 5, ignores the baby's genitalia. Her mother, the librarian her father married in order to make her look legitimate (and not adopted) is a fan of an early feminisia poet, named Mary Day, and looks upon this as an experiment to show that gender is a social construct. In the wings, a horrible family, who needs the family fortune which will one day belong to Rose. Only her true identity is discovered, by both herself and her family and things become terribly complicated.

When I picked up this book I thought it would be an adventure book, the story of someone figuring out who they are. However, I was unprepared for the dignity, respect and insight Stace gives the character of Rose. Stace does not acknowledge reading Foucault's The History of Sexuality, but Rose's internal struggle often mirrored that story (The History of Sexuality revolves around the diary of a hermaphrodite in 19th century (maybe 18th) France who eventually kills him/herself because he/she feels alienated, not only from society, but from him/herself). Rose's self-discovery, self-hatred and eventually, self-acceptance are lovingly told. Rose is not someone who should be shunned, but someone who should be admired for the way in which she learns to love and accept who she truly is.

The story itself is remarkable. Once it is discovered that Rose is a he, it is also discovered that she is a bastard, and therefore, not the legitimate heir of the family fortune. At this point, I became a tad bit disappointed because I felt a Tom Jones (the book, not the singer) ending coming. However, Stace threw in such a delightful twist, that I did not mind at all. Although this book is 500 pages, it flew by and I can't wait to pick up Stace's latest book.

Misfortune should be a must read for anyone who has felt like they didn't fit in their own skin. I figure that all of us have felt like that at one time or another. I definitely think this book should be required reading for gender study courses. Stace is an incredibly talented man and I look forward to reading him for years to come.

Snarl for me!

So I'm not great at looking fierce. I tried a snarl in one picture, but it looked ridiculous. Good thing my husband won't really notice anyway.

I awoke to a phone call at 6:30 this morning offering me a 5 hour job. Well, I guess for 5 hours I'd get up. Only, it turned out to only be an hour job. Totally wasted my entire morning though. I hate crap like that. I did manage to go to the gym this afternoon, and, surprise surprise, I've lost more weight. Since I hadn't been in about a month, I figured I would have gained back at least a pound. Nope, I've lost three more pounds. I figure the more I lose now, the less I'll have to lose if I ever get pregnant. Which is another reason why I like to work. I don't spend a lot of time wondering if I'm pregnant when I'm busy trying to control 30 kids. I guess there's the rest of the week.

Who has more fun?

I miss my husband. And while cleaning my bedroom, I realized that I STILL haven't worn my halloween costume for him yet. So I thought I'd try it on and make sure it looked good. What do you think? With or without the mask?

I've never had black hair, or long hair, for that matter. I've had ever other color, but never black. It doesn't look as bad as I thought it would. And now, I kind of want long hair, only my hair is so thin, it would never look this good. I guess a girl can dream.

I can't wait for my husband to get home.

Directionless

I usually sign up for my subbing positions on-line. They have a nice little page that shows all the jobs available, which schools, which subjects, which hours, which days and you just pick what you want. This usually works out very well, but every now and then a school will move you around to a different job. This usually (what's another word for usually?) is no big deal. Today, it was a big deal. They put me in special ed.

I don't take special ed jobs for a reason. They're really, really hard, and I don't mean work wise. They're hard emotionally. You spend time with some of the nicest, friendliest, funniest, and huggiest kids ever, but you know that this is it for them. Out of the 8 kids in the class, maybe 4 of them would ever be able to work ANY type of job, and this was the highest level of special ed. The other four, not a chance. One of the students, a girl with autism, broke my heart. They said she had been able speak, interact, read a little and now, nothing. She spent the day wandering in circles, grabbing things and putting them in her mouth. She had totally regressed. It was so sad, like she was looking for something, but she didn't know what, or how to communicate with even herself. The whole situation made me think of IQ.

IQ had the flu a couple weeks ago. I took her to the doctor and one of the things they told her was to not use Q-tips to clean out her ears. We all know that, we just all ignore it. I mean, it says not to clean you ears with them right on the box. Anyway, I told her that I used them anyways. Her reply: if the ob/gyn told me not to use them, then I won't use them because it must hurt the baby. How is this woman going to raise a baby? I finally realized today, for the first time, that I may, someday, have to call CPS on her. That would upset me so much, because of IQ's history (she grew up in foster care) but if she can't take care of the baby, what choice do I have? I guess right now the only thing I can do is hope and pray.

Back to reality

After the kidnapping, robbery, marriage, bombs, beatings, drug addiction and blackmailing of the last book I read, I decided I needed something more realistic. I read The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien. I missed out on reading Tolkien when I was a kid. I read the Chronicles of Narnia but that was the extent of my fantasy reading. My husband loves Tolkien, so I thought I'd give it a spin. Boy, did I miss out! I loved this book! While I felt like the book would be a great kid's book, I didn't feel like I was reading a kid's book. I would recommend this book to anyone.

The story itself is rather simple. A stay-at-home type of hobbit decides it's time for an adventure and joins thirteen dwarves in trying to reclaim their gold from a dragon. While the story is simple, the writing is amazing. Tolkien's writing is clear and simple itself, but it is also interesting. When a character mentions other stories or adventures, as a reader, I just went, yes, yes, tell me about that, I want to know! I could have read this story forever, instead, it was so well written, it took about three days. I now declare myself a Tolkien fan and will read the rest of his work. I also look forward to getting Wes's kids to read them and hopefully, someday, my own kids.

During the time when I couldn't hide in middle earth, Wes's dad was here all week and I worked quite a bit. There's nothing romantic about having a valentine's dinner with your father-in-law and your husband. Now, everyone is gone, the house is a mess, and I'm still working a lot. Again, it will be a miracle if a baby was conceived this month (ok, I mean in this house, not in the general public). If you think having your father-in-law at your valentine's dinner isn't romantic, think about having sex with him sleeping directly underneath your bedroom. Oh yeah, let the sexy times roll.

The Russian Concubine

A friend sent me this book, The Russian Concubine by Kate Furnivall, because it kind of reminded her of our trip to Russia. She did mention that it was not "serious" literature, but a good, easy read. Since I had just finished reading a book, I thought, why not?

In this book, a family of Russians flee the Bolshevik revolution. They travel to China, but along the way, they are stopped by Bolsheviks and the husband is killed. The mom, Valentina and her daughter, Lydia, make it to China, but have no money, no passport and no way to provide for themselves. Lydia, a beautiful, willful red-head, becomes a thief to help support them, and during one of her "bussiness trips" into the Chinese portion of the town (as opposed to the part practically owned by the British) she almost gets kidnapped and sold into prostitution, only to be saved by a Chinese communist, Chang An Lo. Eventually, they fall in love and as you can imagine, chaos rules.

I love the character of Lydia. She is beautifully and lovingly drawn. She has fire and depth. She alone makes this novel worth reading. The other characters are also done rather well, but I felt like the author had a checklist:

Corrupt British bureaucrat who beats and cheats on his wife. Check.
Well-meaning British school teacher who has a Chinese lover, has gone native and eventually succumbs to the drug, opium, that destroyed his family. Check.
Russian mom who has to whore herself out, albeit in a upper-class fashion, to survive and marries the first rich, nice British guy who asks. Check.
Powerful Chinese warlord who controlls the opium trade and is very rich, ruthless and violent. Check.

You get the picture. In addition, the last half of the book could easily be a script for a soap opera, and that's not a compliment. Yes, I know this is a novel, meaning, it is not real, but please, this crossed the border from incredulous to how stupid do you think I am. The author might of well have put a cape on Lydia and Chang An Lo and declared them superheroes, for all they went through.

Overall, I would not recommend this book. While the characters are written beautifully, the story itself defies logic. The best thing about this book: it gave me a great idea for a research project. What did happen to the Russians who had to flee to China? But other than that, this book was not worth the time.

When is blogger going to fix spell-check?

Little lost bird

I was not subbing for sexual education when I uttered the words "oral activity." I was subbing for Spanish. There was a question about why they had to write an activity that was supposed to be oral. My answer, "you need to write it down even though it is an oral activity."

Today I saw the most beautiful bird I have ever seen (well, maybe. I've seen a lot of beautiful birds). I've linked to it above. It must have been lost though, because it's not really supposed to be here, and it was all by itself. But it posed for me and let me watch for quite some time.

It's my anniversary today. The kids are here, as is Wes's dad. I made a HUGE meal, but forgot the wine. It has been a good day.

I forgot where I was

If you ever substitute for middle school, never, EVER, utter the words "oral activity."

Mary, I'm not

So, no miracle occurred in January. I was really bummed about this, so my husband took me birdwatching. We had a great time and identified two new birds. I was also able to point out two birds I had previously identified, but Wes had never seen. Then, to top the afternoon off, we saw a Bald Eagle. That was pretty cool. Saturday night we celebrated our two year anniversary a week early. His dad and kids will be here on the actual date, and since I wasn't pregnant I could drink. We had a great time, the food was delicious and then we came home and fell asleep. Because, gee whiz, we've been married for two whole years and how else would we celebrate (but we really did just go to sleep: Wes has been sick for a week).

This week, I'm actually working a couple of days. And today I'm frantically cleaning the house, since I'm working the rest of the week and the house is filthy and his dad is going to visit for a whole week. The only week my husband will be home in the month of February. I have a feeling we may not get pregnant this month either. At least Wes will be home for the month of March.

Gather 'round!

I love reading "modern" novels, but let's face it, they don't always make one think. Although I love Dostoyevsky (yes, there are about a dozen ways to spell that), and I have read all his major work, I haven't really delved into his minor work. This week, I took on some of the minor work, and once again, Dostoyevsky proves to be brilliant (and better than Tolstoy).

I started with The Gambler. The title should be self-explanatory. However, the novella is more than half over before you are completely confidant that you know exactly to whom the title refers. Every character is this story is a gambler, some, in the casino, all in life. The story itself leaves many questions: who are these people, what is their problem and why do they think money will solve it, and do people really act like that? Yes, yes, desparate people act like that. One of the best scenes in the book occurs when the invalid 75 year old aunt becomes addicted to the roulette wheel, betting her fortune on winning everything back. If you want to know how a gambler feels, this book is for you. Time slows down, senses are heightened and you feel completely high and in control and yet you know you aren't in control. It is an amazing and quick read.

Next up was the very short story Bobok. A journalist, who fears he is going crazy, keeps repeating the nonsense word, bobok. The surprising thing is not what this means, how he found out what it means, but rather, the fact that the meaning does not disturb him. A very short, but interesting story.

Finally, I read A Nasty Story. This story is very reminiscant of Gogol. A Russian general (not in the army, but in rank of the civil service: it's a long story) gets drunk, wanders through the streets of St. Petersburg and ends up inviting himself to the wedding of an insubordinate. He does this to prove how much he loves 'humanity'. At this time, Russia was very divided into classes, and those 'forward thinking' wanting to prove that they accepted everybody as equal, but only if shown the correct amount of respect. The general gets disgustingly drunk (he's not normally a drinker) and disgraces himself and ruins the wedding. This story, while amusing, is also an excellent social commentary that still applies today. I'm thinking of those rich people who very loudly voice their support of equality and then get mad when the poverty stricken don't praise them for their generosity (you know who I'm talking about). This story clearly reveals what asses these people really are.

Thus, Dostoyevsky is still my hero and I love him. Read anything by him today.

Tonight my husband returns home, for six whole hours, before he leaves again and returns on Saturday morning. What? you ask, I though he was supposed to be home all this week. Why yes, yes he was, but after seeing him for 9 whole days over the last month, I was so sick of him, that I sent him away again. Ok, really. The ship is here, but there was some stupid conference in Florida that my husband wasn't even supposed to go to, but they needed a competant and responsible guy to go. They chose my husband. Stupid competant and responsible husband. So I haven't seen him since Sunday (when he was really sick, he's better now, thank God). I will pick him up at the airport tonight at 11:00pm. He will go to work at 6:00am. I won't see him again until Saturday. The ship leaves again on Monday morning. If I end up having a baby, it will be a miracle.

Raise an IQ

Saturday I took IQ to Target so she could finish registering for her baby boy. That was one of the hardest thing I've ever done, as I really, really want a baby now. Have you seen all the cute stuff they have? Anyway, I had to remind IQ several times that a newborn is usually only newborn size for a couple of weeks (at the most) and that she should probably register for the 0 to 3 month stuff too. When I asked her if she had registered for sheets yet, she responded that she already had a set. Yes, one set. That would be enough for a baby. A baby that throws up and pees and poops and is just generally a baby. One set of sheets. Dream on. When I told her she would need more than that, she honestly didn't understand why. But she registered for one more set, so score one for me! Since her husband is in the navy, she wants to do a nautical theme and we found some really cute stuff with sail boats and pirates.

While shopping, I asked IQ, again, when she is getting her driver's license. She said she thought she would wait until the baby was 2 or 3 years old!!! I asked her how she is going to get to all the doctor appointments. She responded that her husband will be home soon, so she doesn't have to worry about it. Hmmmm. Yes, because he will be able to get off all that time from work. And if there is an emergency? Well, she has a friend that is a taxi driver. I put my foot down then. I told her, in no uncertain terms, that she needed her driver's license asap. I think she understood because she said she will talk to her husband about it. How can you have a kid and no license?

I do have to compliment IQ though. She told me she had been really cleaning her house and I was, naturally, skeptical. Her place was the cleanest I have ever seen it and I mean, it was clean. She took initiative too, and asked at the leasing office if they knew anyone who would help with her litter box (they did) and to help her clean (maybe). I'm proud that she actually did that on her own and hope she keeps it up. Maybe this baby will actually help her feel like she's competent. We can only hope.

Any speaking of babies, my friend Beth called me last night and she finally (10 days late) had her baby boy. He is very beautiful and I am so excited for her and Ryo.

I could kick myself!

I finished the baby afghan for my friends and mailed it off today. Unfortunately, I forgot to take a picture of it. My first baby afghan and I have no proof! At least the baby is a week late, so the blanket isn't going to be that late.

Yesterday, I finally exchanged my WI driver's license for a VA one. I took along proof of residency (a gas bill), and two forms of ID, just like the web page said I needed. Well, tell me if this is the stupidest thing you've ever heard. They would accept my military spouse's ID in place of my social security card, but they wouldn't accept it as a second form of ID, even though it has my picture on it. I had to go home and get my passport, with a 9 year old picture on it (I don't even slightly look like that anymore). At least there was no line, and I also registered to vote. I plan on writing myself in, even though I'm not old enough.

My husband comes home today. I am very happy about that. That's pretty much the excitement that is my life.

Happy test results

I requested that my mail be held while I traveled to Texas. Apparently, they only held half of it, as I found the other half shoved into my tiny little mail box today. While going through said mail, I came across my colposcopy test results (colposcopy, otherwise known as, when they scrape off large bits of your girly parts. Not a fun time). The test results: completely normal! Not even any HPV cells to worry about! Woohoo!!!! I don't have cancer!!!! I can't tell you how relieved I am. I was so afraid that even though the doctor said we should still try to get pregnant that the tests would come back positive and I still wouldn't be pregnant ('cus you know my husband has been here so much it would just be weird if I didn't get pregnant). I feel great. Just wish my husband was here so I could tell him (and no, I can't e-mail him because the e-mail is down on the state of the art ship he is on). Hope everyone else's day is going this well.

Pretty picture

My brother and Phoenix

(isn't he cute? I mean my brother; he's single)

Phoenix, making funny faces.

Camille and I

Party like you have nipples!

The party was last night and who says you have to drink to have fun!?! During a game of guestures (which is like charades) I ended up with the word nipple. Everyone at the party was either a relative or from my parent's church. What is a girl to do? Why, rub your brother's nipples! He felt violated, but I got a lot of laughs and my mom didn't have a heart attack, which would have been awkward since she was the hostess. The food was great, the games were fun and the party was a success!

I am home now and Wes will be here tomorrow. I'm trying to clean up the house but I am exhausted. I have to get lots of sleep because tomorrow will be a long day of (hopefully) baby-making.

Not enough time

My trip is flying by. Thursday I got to hang out with Camille. It was wonderful, but we are getting old. Instead of talking about clothes, guys, and sex, we talked about our children, home repairs, our fat asses, our husbands, the economy, and politics. You know, the interesting stuff. Her kids are adorable and we had a great time. I just wish she lived closer to me!

Yesterday morning was spent getting stuff for the party. Yesterday afternoon I went to my sister's to hang out with her and her wild puppy. She's cute, but wild (the dog, not my sister, although my sister is cute too!). Last night, pizza and cards with the family. My brother finally ended his relationship with his bitch, I mean, girlfriend. Of all the girls my brother has dated, this one was by far the worst. She was rude, mean and rude. My brother is very happy it is over. I hope next time he does better. He certainly deserves better.

My mom and I went walking yesterday and I saw two new birds! One was a bufflehead, which is beautiful. Go look it up! Today, she's going to take me to the duck pond. Hopefully I'll see new birds there too. We've already cut up the veggies, and we're getting the house clean. This is going to be a great party!

My grandma had her quadruple bypass yesterday. Everything went very well and there was no damage to her heart. My mom is going to go up next week to help her out. I wish I could go, but with my husband's schedule, I just don't know when he'll be here and when he won't. Since he's leaving in April for 6 months, I don't want to miss spending time with him.

That's about it for now. Now I have to go do something for the party that my mom forgot about until now. Hope everyone is doing well.

Happy Birthday Old Man!

Even though I love my nephew Phoenix, the real reason I am in Texas is because it's my dad's 50th birthday (yes, he is 50, I am 33. It's a long story). Anyway, here's my family, celebrating my dad's birthday. Starting from the left: my brother-in-law, my sister, my nephew, my mom, my dad, me, and my brother (Phoenix's dad). Aren't we beautiful?

Today, we went shopping for my dad and Phoenix was so funny. When we went to Party City for stuff (for the party Saturday), Phoenix said, "Spread out, everyone." I guess he thought we were hunting. Then he demanded that we get grandpa a birthday present. At first he said he wanted to get grandpa a new toy, but then he decided we had to get him Sponge Bob Squarepants underpants, just like the ones he got for Christmas. Well, we couldn't find any boxers, but we did find pajama pants! Then, he insisted that we get a cake. He decided we should get the carrot cake. We wanted the chocolate cake. Me: I don't know if grandpa likes carrot cake. Him: Yes he does! He eats carrots all the time (how do you argue with logic like that?). Then, after a few minutes of arguing, he stated, "We get the carrot cake, or we get no cake!" We got the carrot cake. It was a great dinner.

I guess since it's my dad's birthday, I should say something about him. He's a great guy and I hope he lives another 50 years. Now I have to go watch the last 20 years of home videos that my sister burned onto CDs for my dad.

How I love to travel to Phoenix.

I'm in Dallas now. I'm surprised I managed to get here. My plane left at 6:15 in the morning, so I had to get up at 4:00am. My husband may be used to getting up at that time, but not me. I had a scare yesterday. I had two different jobs set up and stopped home in between the two. When I went to leave for the second one, my car wouldn't start. I had to cancel the job and get a new battery. Just think how horrible it would have been if it hadn't started this morning, when I was trying to get to the airport!

My favorite reason to visit Dallas.

As you see, Phoenix is still amazingly cute. He's still really short too. I asked if I could eat his ear, and he said no, because it's glued on. Oh, and he needs it to hear, but mostly because it's glued on.

On a sad note, my grandma is having quadruple bypass surgery within the next couple of days. She didn't do so well on her stress test, and when they did further tests, they discovered she has 95% blockage. My grandpa died just a year ago. I know she really misses him and thinks she's not worth anything anymore, but we all love her so much! And she has become quite the social butterfly since she was no longer a caretaker. Please pray that the surgery goes well. Just thinking about life without her makes me ill.

The Memory Keeper's Daughter

While visiting my family over Christmas, I noticed my aunt was reading The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards. The book looked familiar, but I couldn't place it. She said the book was good. When I returned home, I needed to pick out a new book to read. Imagine my surprise when I found The Memory Keeper's Daughter on one of my bookshelves. No wonder it looked familiar. I considered it a sign, and read the book.

The book was amazing, the story original, and heartbreaking. In 1964, a doctor is forced by a blizzard to deliver his own baby. Only, it was two babies. The first baby was a perfect baby boy. The second, a girl, with Downs syndrome. Due to factors in his past, the doctor, David, believes it is in his wife's best interest to immediately take the girl, Phoebe, to an institution. He asks the only other person there, the nurse, Caroline, to do this for him. Only, when she gets to the institution, she realizes she can't leave the girl there. Upon her return to town, she discovers that David has told his wife, Norah, that Phoebe was stillborn. Caroline leaves the area and raises Phoebe on her own, eventually marrying. David's decision haunts all their lives, and his son's, Paul.

The book is written from the perspective of the main characters, David, Norah and Caroline, and once he is older, Paul. This is what makes the book so wonderful. From the description of the book, as a woman, all I could think is, "how could he?" but after hearing his story, in his words, you understand why David did what he did, and you hurt for him. He wants to do the right thing. He thought he was doing the right thing. But this, this he did wrong, and he spends the rest of his life trying to find a way to fix it. Norah quickly falls into a depression after the birth. While you feel for her, I think Norah is probably the weakest character in the book. I never understood where she was coming from, in regards to her personality before the babies, and when she finally reaches for "independence" it felt forced. Caroline grew the most as a person. Her life moves in unexpected directions because of Phoebe, and I liked her more than Norah. Paul was drawn so well that I just wanted to hug him.

The book is wonderful and readable and sad and happy and hopeful and hopeless. My main complaint is a rather strange one. Every single main character's parents died while they were all young. Now, I know people lose their parents at a young age: my husband was 24 when his mom died. However, what are the chances that three people, who meet by chance, would all have lost their parents at a young age. I know this was important to the plot, to a certain extent, since they were all formed by these early deaths, but still, there are other plot devices that could have achieved the same end without all the drama.

I would highly recommend this book. Believe it or not, but it actually had a happy ending. Well, at least the happiest ending possible. Go get it today, or just check your bookshelves.

Baby making until your penis falls off!

My husband is home! All weekend too! Guess what we've been doing? Go on, guess? The good news is, that since he's been gone for a week, a whole weekend of sex is wonderful! The bad news is, that since he's been gone for a week, a whole weekend of sex is also painful, after a while. And I'm probably not even ovulating. It's been less than two weeks since I went off the pill. Or, I could be releasing an egg every 20 minutes. Who knows? But when he leaves again on Monday, I won't see him for 2 weeks, so we need to make the most of this weekend.

I went to the doctor's with IQ yesterday. She is having a boy. It yawned at us. Very cute. So far, things look normal. And she's really wanting to get stuff in order before the baby gets here. Hopefully that will all go well. I'll write more about why I'm her friend later. Right now, I have to go make a baby.