I'm back

I was in Texas, visiting the family for two weeks. I have been home for a week, but boy, things were crazy here. The Navy Bean had/has sleep issues, and the lawn needed to be mowed, the house cleaned, groceries bought, and I'm on the committee for the moms' group that started again yesterday. The trip was good. I got to go out with Camille, without the Navy Bean, and we had margaritas and a great time. I had lunch with an old boyfriend, and had to laugh when he said his only regret about us was that we never slept together. Um, isn't that the regret of every man towards every woman he has ever met in his entire life who has not slept with him? But it was great seeing him again and we had a great (if short, stupid weather/traffic) time. The Navy Bean was still afraid of my brother, but eventually warmed up to him and gave him a kiss. My brother has lost more than 35 lbs and he looks AWESOME! I'm very proud of him.

But, this is by far the most exciting thing going on around here:

look closely. There's pee in that potty chair!!!!

Generations

My parents and my grandma visited this week. My grandma lives in Minnesota and won't fly alone, so my mom flew to Minnesota, from Texas, and picked her up, and then flew here. I'm so glad she did though, because I realized, my grandma is starting to get old, and I don't know how much I'll be able to see her now that I have a baby. It was a great visit, but much too short.

Since we had company, we could actually get a picture with all three of us in it.

The Navy Bean (trying out for an e-trade commercial) and my parents.

All four generations. We will never get to five generations because to do so, the Navy Bean would have to have a child awfully young, and then I would kill her and it would still only be four generations.

Growing the family

No, it's not what you think. But my family has grown since the beginning of the year. I know I've mentioned this before, but I have two sisters I have never met. The sperm donor who helped create me remarried and had two daughters. They are much younger than I (even younger than my sister in TX). I didn't think they would know about me. I mean, I really didn't think sperm donor would find me important enough to mention. I knew he and his wife had divorced a while back, and they had both remarried. I wanted to meet my sisters, but I really didn't want to have anything to do with him (he lives in MN, so my family up there knows him and hears about him occasionally). At the beginning of this year, on a whim, I did a facebook search for both of them. And found both of them. I sent them messages. And they were both very excited to hear from me. Turns out, they did know about me. But not from sperm donor. Their mom told them about me when they divorced, so they didn't know much more than that I existed. He is apparently a crappy dad to them as well, and doesn't have much contact with them, so they couldn't really ask him questions. We have been sending messages back and forth, getting to know each other. I'm very excited about this and we hope to meet sometime this year. I'm very happy and a little nervous. But I think this really is going to be a great year!

Don't they have a crane?

Wes gets home today!!!! I am so very excited. I'll leave here in about an hour and we'll watch the ship come in (literally) and then Allison will climb aboard, and then I'll wait for the giant crane. I asked Wes how they will get me aboard. I mean, I am really big and round and have no balance or coordination. He said I could climb up the ramp. Not unless someone is pushing me (and have blocked off the ramp, it's hard getting up and down it when other people are on it and you're not 8 1/2 months pregnant). In his defense, I haven't sent him a picture in a month! And yes, I do have to go aboard, unless I want to sit on the pier for a couple of hours while he finishes everything up. Fun times!!!!

I feel bad for Allison. She has been stuck here with just me since Friday morning. Not that there is anything wrong with me, but um, I'm not used to having an 8 year old kid around. I'm not used to having anyone around. And I love playing board games, but can really only sit on those dining room chairs for an hour before my entire body screams in pain. And getting on the floor to play, hahahahahahahahaahaha!!!!! I've been trying to break the day into smaller parts, doing stuff, like shopping, or making cookies (which she's never done before), but I can tell the poor child is bored to death. She's not used to playing alone (she has one brother and two step-brothers) and she's not a reader (at her age, I would read for hours by myself. Matter of fact, for my seventh birthday, I spent my birthday money on the Little House on the Prairie set). So I'm glad the guys will be back today.

Well, I have a few things I need to finish up and I should probably shower. I hope everyone has as great a day as I know I will have!

I think it has more than two

So the title refers to the baby's feet, knees, legs, arms, hands and elbows. She either has more than two of each, or she has learned how to move ALL of them at the same time. She has also decided my large and round stomach is not big enough and she has taken up residence in my lungs. Now, I don't know about you, but I used to use my lungs to breathe. Not having use of them anymore makes it very difficult to travel up and down the stairs at my house. Even though I am not ready for her yet, I am sure starting to get there, if only so I can breathe again.



I had a great time with my parents. We were able to go to the beach, where mom convinced dad to rent one of those bicycle things. I actually sat in between them, so I didn't have to pedal. They then proceeded to moan and groan about the extra 150 extra lbs they had to move around. Hey, I offered to pedal and maybe we shouldn't have gone to the Pizza Hut buffet for lunch right before we rented the bike! It was fun, even though my dad sweat on me the whole time.

This is so much easier without Stacia and that big belly of hers!

But it wasn't all fun and games. No, I put them to work too. Remember what my garage used to look like. Yeah, I try to block it out too. But the office/nursery needs to be moved into the garage and so my parents kindly helped me organize the garage so the move would be easier. Ok, I pointed, they organized. And here is the result!

Wow! I think I see the garage floor!

And of course, mom took me shopping. I really had to convince her that I still had 8 weeks until my due date so it wasn't necessary for her to buy me everything on my registry just yet. There is still time! Now, when they come back in Nov. and I still don't have stuff, then they can get it for us! But we did buy these cute little outfits and she did buy me a couple of nursing bras (not pictured, because they're really not that exciting without the boobs in them).

In addition to frog feet, it also has a giant frog on the butt!

I love cute little frogs!

Overall, I had a great weekend with my parents and my mom suggested that I keep a list of what I have so I don't panic all the time. At least until I pull out the list and realize how much stuff I still need. So I'm going to do a spreadsheet! Because I'm dorky like that and have the time and it doesn't require too much breathing.

And, I also received a great gift from Tanya (tbooty). I loved the fact that she put it into a gift bag to mail it! This little outfit is too cute! I love the little pants (or whatever those things are called).

Are the little booties home-made? They're so cute!

Sandi, (fighting maturity) also sent me a Target gift card and I'm going to wait until Wes gets home to use that because he feels like he's missing all the fun stuff. So thank you, both of you. (Also, Wes's dad finally passed on the web baby shower information to that side of the family.)

I guess that's about it here. I'm just worn out and counting the days until 1) Wes gets home, 2) the baby is born.

Thank you for listening

Thank you for listening to my rant. I feel better. Kind of. It's mostly Wes's family that's pulling the "we want to get you stuff" game, and really it's his dad, because I don't know how to get a hold of the rest of the family because he refuses to give me phone #'s and e-mails because he is lazy (that really is the truth) and I doubt he has forwarded any of the e-mails and information I have sent him and requested him to forward, again, because he is lazy. Yet, he tells me every time we talk that they all want to help. So, I sent Wes an e-mail and told him he could deal with it, it's his family. Now, I refuse to worry about it. I'm going to do what I need to do.

Yesterday I got my First Aid/CPR certification! YAY!!!! I know I should have done it anyway, but my sister almost died of SIDS when she was born, so I thought it was extra important to get it done.

Today, my parents are coming to visit!!!! They will help calm me down. My dad is going to help me clean/organize the garage (and by help, I mean I will point and he will move stuff) and my mom is going to take me shopping!!! It will be fun for everyone, except maybe my dad. The poor guy LOVES the beach and he likes to golf while he's here and it's predicted to rain ALL WEEKEND. I'm really hoping it'll let up long enough for us to go to the beach, because that would be fun.

I have also discovered a new, very fun game. I used to just watch my belly and the movement. Now, I chase body parts!!!! It's called, how often will Navy Bean move that leg when I touch it. Turns out, until I quit touching it. The poor thing is probably wondering what this giant outside force is trying to do and why won't it just leave her alone! I don't play too often though, I know she'll be able to exact revenge soon.

Well, I should get ready. I'm going to wash my sheets because I can't actually put them on the bed by myself so since my mom's going to be here, she can't do it!!! And again, thank you!

UPDATE******
My husband is wonderful. I just got off the phone with him, and he hadn't gotten my e-mail yet, but I told him everything and he completely agrees with me. He knows his dad and he understands my frustration. He's pretty sure he must have at least one family members' phone# or e-mail address, so he's going to find that and contact them about the situation. And then he'll just talk to his dad when he sees him. So I feel much better. Not to mention that my husband will be home soon.

baby panic rant

I don't even know where to begin. I feel so stressed out and it's not over just one thing, it's over several. Let's start with Christmas and family, because hey, who stresses you out more than your own family.

I have a never married, childless aunt. I should start by saying she is wonderful, because she is. She makes a lot of her own Christmas presents, she's very generous, and she's fun. She's also stressful. She's the person who usually finishes her Christmas shopping in mid-Feb. and finishes all the homemade stuff by July and no, I am not exaggerating. Christmas is her holiday. She doesn't live close to any of us, so it's the one time of the year that she gets to see us. However, she has been bugging me, pretty much since I told her I was pregnant, about Christmas. Because she needs to know where to ship all the stuff and make flight reservations. Also, my cousin (and his wife and baby) moved to Austin, a couple of hours away from Dallas (ok, I guess about 4 hours) and so this year, his parents (who live in Maryland) and his brother, his girlfriend, sister and her boyfriend will also be in Texas for Christmas. In addition to my parents, my brother, his son, my sister, her husband, my Grandmere, my aunt and her husband, who all live in the Dallas area. Just in case you lost track, that's 19 people, not counting me, Wes, Navy Bean, Victor and Allison. So, my aunt has been trying to figure out how to coordinate all of this, even though in every e-mail she mentions that it's not her responsibility. She even sent an e-mail out with the dates we were "for-sure" going to be in TX, based on an e-mail from me that started, "we haven't cleared this with the x yet." My problem with all of this: 1) I want to spend time with my immediate family. I love my extended family, but the branch from Maryland, I usually only see once every 3 to 5 years. 2) Navy Bean will only be 5 to 6 weeks old. That means she will only do three things, sleep, eat and poop. Those who expect a more interesting show will be disappointed. 3) Victor and Allison are very shy and with that many people around, in addition to a new baby, they may not be that friendly. 4) My husband is in the navy and (they should know this since their dad was in the navy) we may not know what days Wes has off until the week before. 5) if there are complications, we're not coming. 6) We still need to decide how much money we're willing to spend to get there (we're planning on renting a vehicle). 7) that just sounds really stressful (24 hour drive with three kids, one of them an infant). I've just decided to let her plan whatever and then take her wrath when stuff doesn't turn out the way she wants them to (and then never do).

Add to this, Wes's family (woohoo!!!) who celebrate Christmas before Christmas. But we won't be there and so far, they don't really seem that anxious to do any re-arranging, even though they're all retired. Ok, let me rephrase that. When I told Wes's dad when we were thinking about coming, he said, "We'll have already celebrated" and it didn't seem to dawn on him that they could move the celebration. When I suggested it, you would have thought I suggested that Jesus was born in July and not Dec. Yet, they all want to see the baby and the kids too. Then work with us people!!!! We're driving half way across the country with three kids, one who will be less than 2 months old. Good grief. It's enough to make me want to stay here (which is actually what I wanted to do anyway, but my husband already told everyone we were coming).

Add to that: when I first gave dates and Christmas plans to the x, she responded (this is a paraphrase), I don't know if you can handle the kids and the baby so we'll decide closer to Christmas. Who'll decide? You??? Because that's not your choice!!!! Now, she wants to know for sure dates (again, she was with Wes for 8 years, she knows we don't have for sure dates yet).

Ok, so that's the first rant. Are we having fun yet????

Second stress point, slightly related to the first, in that it has to do with family. Most notably, aunts, uncles, grandparents, NOT FRIENDS. I don't want anybody to read this and think I'm talking about them, because I'm not. This specifically has to do with family. Family who call and say, "oh, I know you don't have anything so we want to get you something" and then disappear. Then I'm left wondering, especially after they have implied that they'd like to buy the crib, or something big and/or specific, "what do I do now?" Do I just buy the item and then deal with the "I wanted to get you that," or do I wait and then run out in a panic the day before the baby is born? I also hate those who say, "we'll just wait and see what you need." I don't have anything. I NEED EVERYTHING!!!! I am not going to wake up tomorrow and the baby gift fairy will have magically turned the office into a nursery with only 2 or 3 items still needed. The only way I will get anything is if either you buy it, or I buy it. See how that works??? I'm not worried about clothes. I have enough friends that the baby will be clothed, but I have a large family, one who likes to imply they are close, but yet, um, only my parents and my sister have gotten me anything (I love my brother, but he's a guy, so I'll probably not get anything there). I know I still have 9 weeks to my due date, but at the same time, I don't want to have to go to Target the week before the baby is due to get a ton of stuff I really need. With Christmas so close after the due date, I'm waiting for the "oh, we just thought we'd wait until Christmas to see what you still needed" excuse. Am I supposed to wrap her in a sheet and throw her in a box until then? If it's a need, and not a want, like really cute clothing, we're going to buy it before/soon after she is born. What sucks even more is that my family knows Wes is deployed right now, and I feel like I'm getting support from very few of them. Other than the stress of trying to figure out when we'll be home for Christmas.

Third rant, well, actually more of a fear. The baby is due in Nov. and I know my mom is flying out to help us. YAY!!! Then Wes's dad wants to come out too, after my mom is gone, only he'll view it as more of a visit then helping. And we'll have Wes's kids for Thanksgiving (which is good, I'm not saying that's bad). I'm hoping Wes's dad will come for Thanksgiving too then. Then, of course, is Christmas (which we've already discussed) and then Jan. This is what's freaking me out. Wes will be gone for Jan. and Feb. He'll be home on the weekends, but he'll be gone during the week. When are we going to be able to bond as a family? Just the three of us? (Yes, I know he has kids too, but they don't live here so it is different). Not to mention, since I've struggled with depression for so long, I have that fear, especially since things will be so hectic at first and then it'll just be me and her. I know that'll probably be when she starts smiling, as opposed to having gas bubbles, and she'll start to be awake more and have a personality and all of that, but it's still going to be a huge change, and it scares me a little bit.

Finally, I have this one friend who is driving me crazy. She recently moved out of state and is having a hard time getting a job. So she has a lot of time on her hands. But she calls me EVERY DAMN DAY. If I don't answer, she'll just call back until I do. First, the f word is every other word for her. And I don't really use that word that often. Only when I really need to make a point. Second, she's not working and I stay at home. We have boring conversations. Except, she feels I need to know every damn detail (and see, I don't really use foul language that much at all, and she's driven me to it), like, I met this guy and he had green eyes, and a blond flat-top and huge arms and 3 tattoos (then she will describe all three of them in detail) and he was like, hey, what are you doing? and I was like, oh, not much and on and on and on. Now, I love Camille more than all my friends, but do I talk to her everyday. No!!!! Do I want to talk to her more than I do? HELL YES!!!! Do I want to talk to her everyday? HELL NO!!!! You know why? Because we are both dignified, self-respecting people who realize that for the most part, our lives are boring. We have enough decency, when asked "what did you do today" when we did the same thing we did every other day, to answer, "the usual" and leave it at that. Now, when something other than the usual occurs, then great, I will take the blow by blow account, but really, I don't need to know about all the little crap. So this girl is driving me crazy. And now, she's talking about moving back here!!!! I can't even imagine what it would be like then. When she lived her before, she called me every day. I thought that maybe that would stop once she moved and made new friends. I really don't know what to do about the whole situation.

And now I feel all ranted out. My parents are coming this week, so hopefully that will make me feel better. I'm taking an 8 1/2 hour first aid/CPR course tomorrow, and I'm a little stressed out about that. I have contractions after sitting in church for a couple of hours, how am I going to handle all day? I'll just drink plenty of water I guess. Thank you for listening. I feel much better (or at least tired enough to finally be able to sleep without thinking about it).

It's not grandma's, but it's home

I made it home!!! Only 45 minutes later than I was supposed to (thanks thunderstorm!) which means I got home at midnight. After sitting in a car for 4 hours and then a plane for 4 hours, I didn't do much yesterday. I did go get groceries and discovered, to my delight, that the commissary now carries Virginia grown produce, so I didn't have to make a separate trip to the local farmers' market. However, upon getting home, I realized my air conditioner wasn't working. Thankfully they were able to get it fixed on the same day. But let's look at some pictures of my Minnesota trip!

This is my grandma, brother and Phoenix

The two girls are cousins' kids and then Phoenix (who is a year older than both of them)

We took the middle one to church with us, and everyone thought she was mine because we look alike. Half of us cousins got the Scandinavian coloring of my grandma and all look alike.

My cousin's husband, her baby, (who is adorable) my cousin Shante and me.

Shante is the cousin I feel closest to and spend the most time with (she drove me the four hours to my grandma's and then back again).

Here is the quilt that I made!

I had a great time in Minnesota, but it was also a little sad. When I go, I usually have grandma all to myself for most of the time. But now (or after the birth of Navy Bean) it won't be that simple. It'll be harder to get there and I'll have to share my grandma! I want my baby to know her though, because, other than my mom, she has been the most influential and important woman in my life. I love my grandma so much and I hope she's around for another 20 years or so (it could happen. She has had several family members make it past 100).

But, I am glad to be home. I am still really uncomfortable, but the little Navy Bean has decided that under my ribs is not very comfortable. I'm trying to clean my house, but not just clean it, spring clean it. This is a little difficult because of all the breaks I have to take, my lack of flexibility and the fact that I just can't lift very much. The good news it, I don't have anything else to do until she is born. I'm hoping this time both flies by and stands still.

That's just great!

I am using the internet at the library of a small, rural Minnesota farming community. I cannot get into facebook, because apparently, too may people post naked pictures of themselves on facebook. However, since all my facebook friends are either relatives or people I met at church in Wisconsin, not being able to get there is a tad bit ironic. Also, I cannot get to one of the blogs I normally read. Check out my links and guess which one! But at least I can check e-mail and post stuff here.

My grandma's 80th birthday party went great. Well, as great as a party, organized by the most anal retentive bitchy (I didn't say that!) relative that no one likes can be. She managed to really piss my mom off, but she didn't cry or hit her (I would have done both and gotten away with it, because I'm pregnant!). Seeing all the family was wonderful, although I didn't have as much time with some of my cousins as I would have liked. Funnily, I was able to spend more time with my brother here than when I go home (we shared a motel room, and at home there's always 50 people around). That was really nice. However, I am tired of all the women in my grandma's generation, who haven't had babies in 50 years, tell me how huge I am. I don't know how many times I had to verify that yes, I'm only 6 months, there's only one, and yes I know for sure the conception date because my husband is in the navy and is never home, thus, very easy to figure out when it happened. Besides, I CAN STILL SEE MY STUPID FEET, so I'm not that big (I cannot however, reach them very easily). But they're all gone now, so I don't have to worry about it. Now, I'll just make sure I walk plenty and eat as well as I can.

Well, I hope everyone is well. Who knows when I will get back here again to update.

Is the week over yet?

Things are going well with the kids, but I could really use a nap. I am exhausted!!! The kids (up until today, at least) have been getting along great. However, today, they just seem tired of each other. It's also Allison's birthday today, so it's a great day to be mean to her. They've been going to VBS all week, but today was the last day. And while they were gone, instead of taking naps, I did useless things like run errands, go to the grocery store, clean the house. You know, stuff like that. I did buy my super, deluxe travel system, but it's still in the box. Yesterday the kids made stuff for the baby, so that was good, but I'm ready for a nice long nap and at least a 1/2 to read without interruption. Tomorrow Wes gets here, which the kids don't know. So the next two days will be hectic and then Sunday we drive to Florida (without the kids). If you don't hear from me for a week, it's because I'm soaking up the sun on the beach!

That didn't go so bad!

Apparently I'm not as huge as I feel. I had originally decided to wear a tight shirt, one to show off my belly, to pick up the kids, but then decided maybe something a bit more subtle would be better. I guess it was too subtle. I had to tell Wes's x I was pregnant. Even she couldn't tell. We were talking over the kids' heads because I told her I wanted to tell them later. She congratulated me and then asked if it was planned. Hmmmmm???? I wonder why she asked?

We were eating lunch when I told the kids. Allison was very happy, but Victor thought I was joking and he didn't think it was funny. I finally pulled my shirt up to show him my belly. Then, he was just "shocked", and remained so for most of the day. Apparently he "wasn't expecting it." Allison was thrilled that it's a girl. Victor just rolled his eyes. They did have questions, but not the ones I was expecting. I had to explain several times that, no, your mom will not be the baby's step mom, your step dad will not be the baby's step dad and your stepbrothers are in no way related to the baby. I think they finally got it. Then they wanted to know who knew I was pregnant first (um, me!) and if we wanted a baby (yes!), will daddy be home for the birth (he better be!) and if they would be here for that (probably not).

Victor did make one very strange comment (several times). He told Allison not to get too excited because the baby could die when it was born, because that happens all the time. I explained that it does happen in poor countries like Africa, where there aren't enough doctor's or medicine, but that in America, it doesn't happen very often. I don't know if he was hoping or if he was worrying about it. Later he got very upset when he realized we have stairs and what if the baby falls down them and gets hurt?!? Well, we'll get a baby gate.

Allison wanted to know what we're going to name the baby. About two hours later she told me she thought Navy Bean was a beautiful name. I'm glad she approves. Victor wanted to know how we could name the baby without knowing what it looks like. A good point, but since we don't really have a back-up name, Navy Bean it will be. Victor also wanted to know what she would look like, so we talked about how Wes and I looked and how that might make the baby look. Allison wanted to know if it would be crawling when they came to see the baby at Thanksgiving (I'm due the 8th of Nov.) and I had to tell her no. Victor quickly pointed out to her that she wasted her time hoping for a little sister to play with since it wouldn't be able to play for several years. So then we discussed what kind of playing they could do with the baby.

Now, all these conversations have been spread out over a couple of days. It's not been baby time 24 hours a day. We've also played hero scape, monopoly, life, uno, and kids' trivial pursuit. But, the baby finally moved yesterday when the kids were right there so I let them feel it (they wanted to know how I knew it was the baby). They looked at me like I was that guy from Alien, you know, the one who has the alien pop out of his chest. I think it freaked them out just a little bit. Today, we're going to go to Target so they can see what I registered for. Allison actually wants to buy something for the baby, but I think we'll wait on that. Maybe I'll just have her draw a picture for the baby's room or something like that.

Oh, Victor did say at one point that he was scared when I told them I was pregnant. He didn't elaborate, but I told him that the baby didn't change how much we loved them, how much we wanted to see them and that we still want them to come live with us. I guess things are still not much better over there. Matter of fact, he was telling me that his mom thinks he's going to flunk out of middle school and because of this, he's not sure if he'll be smart enough to go to college (he's 10 and going into 5th grade. While school is important, I don't think this is the best way to impart that). He's also back on his medication because they didn't want to deal with teaching him how to handle his emotions (that's really pretty much what she said). So, even though it went well, I know that it's not always going to go this well. But this is a good start.

Say what now?

I'm going to get my husband's kids today. I haven't seen them since my husband left, since his x doesn't see any reason in driving them 1 1/2 hours just to see me (they live 3 hours away). I understand this, yet, my husband and I are really trying to instill in them that we are all a family, and if they're never here, how does that work? But right now, my main issue, my main fear, is that they don't know I'm pregnant. Yes, various people think we should have e-mailed them, or called them and just told them. But we want to be in charge of that conversation and that situation, and we wanted to give them time with just us (or me) to ask questions, talk about their fears, and try to make it feel normal. Yes, we are afraid of what his x might say to the kids. We've heard enough from the kids to know that she is not always honest with them about the divorce, about my husband's career, about the entire situation. Why wouldn't she try to twist this into something bad as well. Now, don't get me wrong. She doesn't talk bad about my husband and when he's home, we get the kids as much as we want. However, when it comes to the divorce, she obviously can't tell the truth (well kids, Anthony was just better in bed and he told me he had a lot more money than your dad, so I left) (Also, I am not indicating that I believe Anthony is better in bed. I have met Anthony and I actually have a hard time imagining Anthony having sex with a woman.). Therefore, the reasons she gives the kids for the divorce are just ludicrous: he choose the navy over the kids, he pays the navy to work there, so he doesn't have any money (which is why we pay an arm and leg in child support), he doesn't love the kids, that's why she left (and gee, that's why we get them as much as possible, because we don't want them). I'm just wondering how this is going to go over. Yes, the kids knew we wanted more kids, but that doesn't mean they understood we would have them, or how that would change their lives. So I'm a bit worried. But I'm going to try to make it as good and exciting as possible. Send good thoughts my way.

Hey! I felt that!

Last night, I felt a very definite kick, like a thwamp. There was no question about it. I had gotten up in the middle of night to go to the bathroom, and then I couldn't get back to sleep, so I was basically rolling from side to side, trying to get comfortable. I guess the little navy bean was getting motion sick or something, and it wanted me to just lie still already! And yesterday, I had someone rub my belly. But, at least it was someone I knew (another teacher at a school I sub at often). It was still weird. She thought I was only 3 months along, so that made me feel good too, because I do feel huge (18 weeks, 5 lbs gained).

This past week, two things happened that have really made me think about being a parent. One, I found myself standing in a completely empty room, three days in a row, with my hand over my heart, pledging allegiance to the American flag, outloud. This had always bothered me, the what to do when it's time for the pledge, but you're completely alone. I feel silly doing it, but I feel bad not doing it. But I realized that soon, I will not be alone and someone else will be watching my every action. I would rather feel silly, but display integrity, than brush it off and teach my kid disrespect.

Two, I had a friend stay with me a couple of days who has two kids of her own. Her kids are not bad, but the oldest is 3 1/2 years old, and my friend sees no point in disciplining her because she's just 3 1/2 years old. Um, because soon she's going to be 4 and then 5 and someday 10, 11 then the teenage years. She will tell her daughter to do/not do something, but not back it up. By doing that, she's teaching her daughter that she doesn't have to obey her. Which got me thinking about discipline. At one point, I even told my friend that I would have given her daughter a little (not painful, just shocking) smack on the leg. She then turned to her daughter and said, "See, you're lucky I'm your mommy because Stacia is mean." Ok then. Maybe I just want children that obey. And maybe I want to have friends who invite me to their houses because they know my children are well behaved and won't leave a disaster zone behind them (they won't). Maybe I just want children who respect me, others and themselves. Maybe I just want good kids.

Belated congratulations

Growing up I thought I was my parent's most intelligent child. Since I was the oldest, this was pretty easy to think. And then there was my brother's high school behavior (drug rehab can cost as much as college) and that kind of proved my case. I also thought I was probably smarter than my mom. I mean, she was a kindergarten teacher. We would tease her about not being able to count above 20 and how everything had a song to go with it. But my mom always wanted to get her Master's degree, and this weekend, she did. With a 4.0. A FOUR POINT O PEOPLE!!!! My mom is smart. And I'm so proud of her.

Who looks like her mom?

Doesn't she look smokin' hot in that dress?

This cake tasted as good as it looks.

My sister also graduated from with her bachelor's this past weekend. Now, I forgot about my sister when I figured the smart factor, mostly because she was 5 when I moved out of the house. She didn't graduate with a 4.0, no, she only graduated with a 3.94. And she starts her PT graduate studies in less than a week. She got the smart gene too!

You can't find me!

And it turns out you also can't count my brother out. He is also a full time undergraduate, now a junior. He also has a 4.0. He also works full time and is a full time single dad to the little rug-rat above. I guess it turns out my intelligence was just the tip of the iceberg. Lucky for me!

Where's my maid?

We've been on vacation. It was fun. Let me tell you about it. (I'm still tired from riding in the car, because, yes, we drove.) Anyway, we went to Texas (from Virginia, in a car). This allowed me to go through several states I don't think I've ever been in before, or don't remember very well. We started by driving to Jacksonville Texas to see Wes's grandparents. I had never met them before, and Wes hadn't seen them in a couple of years. They are so sweet. Just nice folks. We had a really good visit. And Jacksonville is very pretty. We identified one new bird while we were there (Cedar Waxwing). We only hung out there a couple of days before we head to Dallas for a wedding of an old high school friend.

I had not seen this friend in some years, but he and Wes have kept in touch (as well as the navy allows). One of the strange things about marrying someone from high school is going back to see your friends, especially when they don't know you're married. The only people we really knew there were all the groomsmen and the groom (pictured below, the groom is on the farthest left).

Notice that my husband is by far the shortest man in the group. They actually had some problems with the wedding pictures, finding a place for him that he could be seen. Don't tell him I told you that.

So this is us before the wedding. I had to go buy a dress, because I don't really own any.

The first dance. I have never seen Eric so happy. I hope they have a long and happy marriage. And I hope we see them again because the bride was very, very sweet.

This was the most expensive wedding I have ever been to. We estimate that it was $75,000. No, I did not but the comma in the wrong spot. At the wedding itself, the Texas boys choir sang, and they had a string quartet, and an organist. At the wedding, which was at the Adolphus (for those of you who live in Dallas), they had sea bass AND fillet of beef (not one or the other) and open bar, an 8 piece band, and the best wedding cake I've ever eaten. It was spectacular. I hear her parents live in University Park, so they probably just wrote a check. But it was wonderful and great to see everyone and again, I'm so glad that our friend Eric is happy.

But of course, you can't visit home without some drama. We saw Charley. He didn't actually show up for the wedding, but we saw him the next day. It was surreal. I love Wes and can't imagine my life without him, but seeing Charley was bizarre. It reminded me of all the reasons I love him and many of the reasons I'm not with him. When we left, he gave me a hug and told me he was glad I was happy. I hope he finds his happiness too. Wes hopes that seeing us helped Charley resolve some of his feelings. I honestly don't know if it helped resolve mine or not. I am happy though, that seeing him did not make me wonder what I had missed, but rather, made me very happy with what I had found.

I'll write about the rest of our trip tomorrow. Now, I need to finish cleaning as much as possible. It is good to be home.

Back to the 70's

When I was a kid, I loved to roller skate. I mean, I LOOOOOOOOOVED to skate. Apparently, so did my husband. I just found out he even took lessons (LESSONS!!!!). Anyway, Allison recently went ice skating, and now that is her favorite activity in the whole world, and she wanted us to take her. I've only been ice skating about three times in my entire life. So we compromised and went roller skating. YAY!!!! Victor did great, but Allison started out a little rough. Wes was worried that he wouldn't remember how to do it (even after all those lessons!) but I told him it was just like riding a bike. And it was. We had a great time and it didn't take long for Allison to work it out. I had a great time watching everyone too. There was one little four year old who was skating around like she was born with skates on her feet. And cutest of all, there was a little boy, probably about three, who looked like a jack-in-the-box. Up, down, up, down, up, down. But he didn't cry at all and just kept going. I cracked up though, when I realized his shirt said "I do all my own stunts." Yes you do, little man, yes you do. Overall, it was very fun, and I told Wes we should buy our own skates and then go skate on the boardwalk every weekend, because we're nerdy like that. And then I came home and took a two hour nap.

I want to address those of you who are concerned that Wes and I are wasting valuable baby making time. Um, my husband is leaving for 6 months. Whether or not we were trying to get pregnant, we would not be wasting that time. So now you can quit worrying about it (but you can keep crossing your fingers for us). Ok, now I need to go make dinner. I hope everyone has a great Easter weekend.

Crocheting a thank you

Last year, after my grandpa died, I stayed with my grandma for three weeks. During that time, I learned to crochet, something my grandma has been doing for about 35 years. The first year I crocheted, I made afghans for several friends, but then my grandma mentioned that she would really like a new afghan for her new living room furniture. I jumped at the chance. I wanted to show my thanks to grandma, for everything she's ever done for me. My grandma got the afghan last week. When I talked to her, she was so proud of me. She thought the afghan was so beautiful, both the pattern and the colors. She said she thought I was already better than her (I'm not). I was so happy that she loved my afghan. Then she said something that almost made me cry. My grandma has been making afghans for about 35 years. She has made hundreds of afghans. I probably have at least 10 in the house right now. I have always thought of my grandma as a very talented woman. But she doesn't. She said to me: In all the years I have been crocheting, and all the afghans I have made, no one has ever made me an afghan. It means so much to me that you wanted to learn something that I did and now you're sharing your gift with others. It's so nice to know that something that is such an important part of me will live on. I validated my grandma. It wasn't just that I made her something, but it was that I had thought something she did was important and beautiful and I wanted to learn it and then I gave it back to her as a gift. It hasn't mattered how many times I told her I love her or I told her I cherished her or I told her I thought she was talented, it mattered that I wanted to learn something from her and emulate her. I am the only person in the family who knows how to crochet, and we have a big family. I am so thankful I was able to give that to my grandma. And I hope every time she wraps herself in that afghan, she feels my arms around her and she hears me whisper "I love you."

Pretty picture

My brother and Phoenix

(isn't he cute? I mean my brother; he's single)

Phoenix, making funny faces.

Camille and I

Party like you have nipples!

The party was last night and who says you have to drink to have fun!?! During a game of guestures (which is like charades) I ended up with the word nipple. Everyone at the party was either a relative or from my parent's church. What is a girl to do? Why, rub your brother's nipples! He felt violated, but I got a lot of laughs and my mom didn't have a heart attack, which would have been awkward since she was the hostess. The food was great, the games were fun and the party was a success!

I am home now and Wes will be here tomorrow. I'm trying to clean up the house but I am exhausted. I have to get lots of sleep because tomorrow will be a long day of (hopefully) baby-making.

Not enough time

My trip is flying by. Thursday I got to hang out with Camille. It was wonderful, but we are getting old. Instead of talking about clothes, guys, and sex, we talked about our children, home repairs, our fat asses, our husbands, the economy, and politics. You know, the interesting stuff. Her kids are adorable and we had a great time. I just wish she lived closer to me!

Yesterday morning was spent getting stuff for the party. Yesterday afternoon I went to my sister's to hang out with her and her wild puppy. She's cute, but wild (the dog, not my sister, although my sister is cute too!). Last night, pizza and cards with the family. My brother finally ended his relationship with his bitch, I mean, girlfriend. Of all the girls my brother has dated, this one was by far the worst. She was rude, mean and rude. My brother is very happy it is over. I hope next time he does better. He certainly deserves better.

My mom and I went walking yesterday and I saw two new birds! One was a bufflehead, which is beautiful. Go look it up! Today, she's going to take me to the duck pond. Hopefully I'll see new birds there too. We've already cut up the veggies, and we're getting the house clean. This is going to be a great party!

My grandma had her quadruple bypass yesterday. Everything went very well and there was no damage to her heart. My mom is going to go up next week to help her out. I wish I could go, but with my husband's schedule, I just don't know when he'll be here and when he won't. Since he's leaving in April for 6 months, I don't want to miss spending time with him.

That's about it for now. Now I have to go do something for the party that my mom forgot about until now. Hope everyone is doing well.