Exhausted

My parents were here this weekend and we had a great time but I am now exhausted. Now, in no particular order, are pictures of our weekend.


Saturday at the beach. Don't they look cute!


This is what most of my "dolphin" pictures looked like. They don't like to pose!


My parents on the dolphin boat.


The boat ride was pretty windy on the way back!


This was the best picture I got of the dolphins. But we had a ton of fun!

We also went to all you can eat seafood buffet and stuffed ourselves. It was a great weekend. Unfortunately my parents left today and Wes also left for 4 days. So now I'm all by myself. Bt I had a great time and I'm happy about that.

Today

Today my parents are coming to visit. I should have them fly in more often, because I've already gotten more done today than I've done all week (ok, not really, but almost). I got up, finished vacuuming my house, went to the gym, translated some Russian, cleaned out the car and I'm about to get ready to go pick them up. I am so excited.

I also finished a book I was reading, called Don't let's go to the dog's tonight by Alexandra Fuller. At first I had a hard time getting into it because the first couple of chapters are not in chronological order, but after I figured that out, the book was great. It is the true story of Fuller's childhood in war-torn Africa and it is a wonderful book. I would highly recommend it. I know she also has at least one other book out and I'm going to look for it.

That's about it and I need to paint my toenails. Hope everyone is doing well. And remember, You R capatavatingg.

Just what I needed, or I am capatavatingg

Wes was supposed to be home from work on Saturday by 4:00p. As 4:00p came and went, I became desperate to do something, anything, to get out of the house. So I decided we were skipping church on Sunday to do some hiking (next to the beach) and swimming (at the beach). Saturday night, after Wes got home (a little after 4:30p) we were going to play Diablo all night to get our fix. We were playing and his phone rang. We got real tense because we were afraid it was work, but it wasn't. It was our friend Les, who we know from TX, who also now lives here. It was his birthday and he wanted to know if we wanted to go out with him, his girl and some friends. Go out! On a Saturday night!!! Hell yes!!! I had never met his girlfriend, Marie. She is wonderful and perfect for him. Les is also Charley's best friend, so things could have been a little weird. But Les, (after drinking a little) declared that he knew we all loved Charley but that Wes and I made a much better couple. Also, Charley wasn't good enough for me anyway. So it was all good. After dinner we went to a bar and then to a dive bar with kareoke, for my husband, who was the only person there who likes kareoke. But we had a good time. And the one song Wes sang sounded really good. We had been there more than an hour when Wes and the rest of the guys went up to the bar to get something to drink. Right after they left our table, this guy, who had to be older than my dad, walked up, told me I was beautiful and he had been watching me all night and gave me this:



Other than the fact that I'm captivating, I'm not sure what it says. But it did cheer me up. And we had a great night.

Sunday was good too. We just hung out and played Diablo, took a nap, that sort of stuff. My parents are coming to visit this week and I'm very excited about that. I also think I am going to look for a part time job to get me out of the house more often. I'll let you know how that goes. I'm not ignoring anyone either, I really have been busy and I'll try to return calls and e-mails today. Hope you all have a capatavatingg week.

Here we go again (or: haven't we been here before? Why do we keep coming back?)

Depression is such an odd thing. Once you realize you have it and that it is a problem and that it will keep coming back (at least in my case) it becomes a struggle of intellect over emotion. And it's discouraging, especially since I'm supposed to be smart, to know that even though things are good (not the best, but waaaaaaay better than they could be), I can't make myself feel that way. And when you don't feel that way, your emotions begin to sway your intellect into believing that things aren't good. And then all of a sudden you can't get out of bed because when you woke up you were having a bad dream so therefore the entire day will be bad but if you don't get up you will never start working on your dissertation proposal and then you will have to quit school and work a crappy job you hate and if you don't get up the house won't get cleaned and the groceries won't be bought and Wes will leave you because you're a bad wife and then you'll be a divorced woman in her late thirties working a crappy job that you hate and life will never get any better so you might as well just die and then the fear of failure is so great that you still can't get out of bed and you just stay there and cry instead. That's what I'm fighting. But my parents will be here next week. Hopefully that will help cheer me up. And I'll clean because my parents will be here next week. Being in a clean house always cheers me up. And I'm going to write out a game plan for the writing of the proposal and then start using my daily lists because when everything is sooooo overwhelming that getting out of bed feels like it takes more energy than you have, breaking your tasks into little lists actually helps get them done. One at a time. That's all you have to do. One. At. A. Time. And I'm still going swimming. And that helps too. Although I'm sore from yesterday (and cramping like a mofo) so I'm not going today. I will go tomorrow. I promise. I will also go get groceries tomorrow and to the bank and to get my prescription filled tomorrow. Tomorrow I will begin normal schedules again. This will help me slowly crawl out of this hole. I hate this hole. I hate this hole because it's dark and damp and cold down here and no one can get to me, sometimes not even myself. I hate this hole because it's familiar and feels safe, because I've been here before, many, many times. But I will crawl out. I don't have a choice. It's either the hole or life and I choose life.

Cute quote from Allison (age 6): In a very concerned voice "How did that lady know we were going swimming?", after the woman who rang up our swim goggles and fins told us to have a good time swimming.

I will end on a happy note. My wonderful friends, Rene and Ryo, called to let me know there are going to be parents. They have been trying for several months and are very excited. I can't think of anyone who deserves to have kids more and they will make the best, most loving parents ever. Congratulations!!!

Patch-work

I wanted to post a photos of my various bruises and scrapes, but I can't figure out how to turn off the flash on my camera, so they all turn out pasty-white. So I'll just tell you (yeah, not quite as amusing). I have a one inch by two inch bruise on my upper right thigh. No, I don't know where it came from. I think I may have hit the bedframe one day while cleaning. I have a perfectly round bruise on the center of my left thigh. Again, no idea how I got it. I have three scrapes on my left knee. Got those cleaning last Friday. Both my knees are completely bruised. Got those at the park on Saturday night. My left elbow is scratched. Got that yesterday when I slipped on the stairs and fell down four of them on my butt. No bruises on my butt, but I also pulled my right shoulder while trying to regain my balance. It's a good thing I didn't bruise my butt, because right now, it's the only think that doesn't hurt.

On to the advisor. Ok, I was a bit frustrated when I posted. Yes, I was thinking about quitting but more because I have a family to think about than because I want to. I don't want to quit. I love what I do. My advisor is new and I'm her first student. She told me a while back that she will be very hard on me because the job market is so competative that I have to be in top form to get a job. Having said that, she could work on her people skills. She is one of the best lecturers I've ever seen and she knows her stuff. But, I can tell she is working on her skills because she sent me an encouraging e-mail and we are going to talk on the phone. I didn't expect this part to be easy and I know I am easily discouraged because of other things going on in my life. I feel isolated from the academic world and I miss my friends and the library. While there are a large number of things I can get on-line, that still doesn't replace an actual campus library. Therefore, this week, I will be visiting several local universities and their libraries. I'm also frustrated because of the Sean situation. He has a different advisor than me (one who is equally, if not more so, brilliant). But if you recall the prelim debacle, where he didn't start his answers until the night before they were due. And then, they gave him a week to rewrite one of his answers and he still passed. Yeah, that frustration. Well, Sean's advisor hasn't even seen his proposal but he already has a defense date. And, his advisor is chair of an endowment and Sean received funding for research next spring. So while he's on a fully paid research trip in Europe, I'll be scraping the change together from the bottom of my couch to get to the Hoover institute and then sleeping on friends' of a friends' couches while I do research there. Frustration.

Finally, I don't think I'm cut out for kids. I know that right now my depression is kind of bad, but still, they drive me crazy. I was already so pissed off by eight this morning that I thought I was going to lose it. They don't listen to anything you say, even if you're answering a question that they've already asked 5 times and you've already answered it 5 times. And all they do is pick at each other. I think next times one of them tattles, (and they will) I'm just going to encourage them to beat the crap out of each other and then ask them if that was fun. Last night (when daddy and I were trying to get some love) they knocked on the bedroom door twice. They had already gotten their bedtime stories and kisses. Once was because Allison rolled over and accidentally hit Victor in the stomach and the other time was because they missed mom. We can't do anything about that so why are you knocking on our door?!? Then, this morning, they were both up before seven. And you could tell they needed more sleep because they were fighting right away. I just shut my bedroom door. Then, when I did go in there, they were playing with a game that had been taken away from them last night and put up in the closet. Meaning, they climbed up the cheap Wal-mart shelves in their bedroom to get them. When I asked if they remembered that they were told last night that they couldn't play with that game, they said no. Until I suggested calling daddy to ask him if he remembered. Oh, yeah, I remember now. Um-hm. Not a good way to start a very long day. I can't believe I'm pissed off at two kids because they didn't let me get any sleep.

Finally, since I think we should end on a humorous note: Andrea was right. Wes does think about her during sex. How do I know this? Because he told me he thinks I'm so hot he has to think of ugly girls to last longer. Nope, no bitterness here. Also, a few weeks ago, as we were going to bed, Wes's nose itched and he commented that someone must be thinking about him. I responded that maybe Andrea and her husband were having sex. He laughed so hard he almost fell out of the bed.

I'm ok

I'm not ignoring people (although, yes, I didn't call people because I didn't want my negativity to rub off on people). It's just that we have the kids this weekend. So I will return calls and e-mails after Tues. when they go home. Meanwhile, I'm ok, I'm not dropping out of the program. I'm just frustrated, but I'll get through it. Thanks for all the encouragement and love.

Quitting

I'm seriously thinking about quitting school. My advisor is driving me crazy and since my chances of actually finding an academic job after I get my Ph.D are less than 1 in 5, why am I doing this to myself. She hates the second draft too. No, I'm not sure why. Apparently because I do know the answers to the questions I'm raising in my proposal. Yeah, those would be the questions I want to answer in my dissertation but apparently I'm already supposed to know the entire history of what I'm doing my research on. No, I don't know how that is possible or why a dissertation would even be necessary if we already knew it, but evidently, that's what I'm expected to know. She doesn't think I can get a good enough proposal before the end of the semester. Grant proposals are due in October and you have to be dissertation status to apply for them. That means, I couldn't apply for grants for next year. I'm not willing to wait two years to do my research trip. I'm married and 32 and I have other things I need to do in life besides waiting on this bitch to decide what the hell she wants. I'm frustrated beyond words and I can't stop crying. I just don't know what to do. I just don't think I can do this anymore.

Take two

I just e-mailed my advisor the second (and much better) draft of my dissertation proposal. Well, minus a few sections I haven't got to yet, but since I totally rewrote the proposal (I deleted the entire first draft) I wanted to make sure I was headed in the right direction and not have to start completely over again. I think this one was much better and I pray to God that she does too. Hopefully we can now schedule a defense date and I can buy plane tickets before they'll cost me an arm and a leg (because I hear it's very hard to do research in the archives without arms, and Russia really isn't disability friendly).

Other than that, the place is a mess and we're getting the kids this weekend. Tomorrow I will be doing a lot of cleaning. Today, I will be relaxing, e-mailing people, playing diablo and catching up on my magazine reading and maybe, if I have time, even start a real, non-history related book. Hey, my husband won't be home until 10:00p, so I have plenty of time. I'm going to go to the gym too. How much you want to bet I take a nap and get nothing done?

I hope everyone is well, and enjoying whatever break they have before the next semester starts.

These glasses fit nice

Yesterday was my husband's birthday. My grandma was nice enough to send him twenty dollars. We're broke, so I used it to get a hair cut. He really likes it though, so I guess it still counts as a buying him a present. Right? They actually let him off of work early yesterday, so we went out to dinner at an Indian place across the street. It was sooooo good and pretty affordable. An appetizer, two ice teas, two entrees and bread for less than thirty dollars. And enough left-overs for another meal for both of us. Today, my husband has duty, which means he won't be home until tomorrow. I'm going to bake his cake tonight (since I wasn't expecting him home early yesterday). Chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. It will be great!!!

Since my husband is not here today, it was time to tackle the rewrite of the proposal. I have three and a half pages now and they are 100% better than the last try. That's what I hate: my advisor is always right. I'll add another couple of pages on Monday and then e-mail them to her so she can give me feed-back and see that I'm not a total idiot. Although, if she still hates it, I'm going to be in trouble. I don't think she will though. I'm using that e-mail she sent me, so if anything else, the structure will be better.

I think that's about it. Oh wait, no it's not. I had my free hour with a personal trainer at the gym on Friday. First, I weigh less than I expected, but that doesn't actually make me happy because most of my clothes still don't fit. Second, I have more fat than I need and less muscle. So she showed me some exercises to help reduce the one while gaining the other. Then I did a few. Very few. Today, I'm not dying or anything, but I've rediscovered some muscles I haven't seen in a while. Next week I'll start in earnest and hopefully I'll soon be able to fit back into some of my clothes.

Ok, now that's it. Have a great weekend.

I can't lift the rose colored glasses

I went swimming yesterday. I got a gym membership, I got stressed out by my advisor so I thought I'd go swimming. It felt great. I love the way I feel physically and emotionally in the water. I swam for about 35 minutes, which was 1/2 a mile. I haven't swam since January and I loved every minute of it. Except I need a new suit because the ass on mine is sagging. Today, I can't lift my arms. Ok, that's an slight fib: I can lift them, it just hurts a little itty bit. I wonder if I go back today if I'll be able to swim as much as I did yesterday? I'll let you know because I plan on going every day I can. And with my husband's work schedule, that's six days a week. I'm going to look smoking hot really quick!!!

As far as my dissertation proposal goes: I've done this dance with my advisor before. So instead of immediately starting on what I thought she wanted, I sent her an e-mail reiterating what I thought she wanted. That was a smart move because she sent me a detailed e-mail letting me know EXACTLY what she wants. I should be able to do it in about 2 weeks, maybe a little longer, but still in enough time to defend in early September. The hardest part: I have to defend WHY my dissertation will be ground-breaking and necessary for the history of the USSR. Because I'm interested in it is not considered a good enough answer (although I don't know why not!). So thank you for all the encouragement and cheering up. I also received an e-mail from a student I had last spring semester. She just wanted to let me know that she thought I was a great TA and how much she enjoyed my classes. Isn't that special!!!

Anyway, I should get to the proposal. But now, I think it will go much quicker and easier. I'm also more balanced in my approach (spending time doing other things) which also helps. Hope you all have a great day.

My life is crap

So my advisor hates my proposal and doesn't think it'll pass in time. Except, I think she has my dissertation proposal confused with grant proposals, which it is not. And the ironic thing, all the parts I based on Sarah's proposal (Sarah, the genius) she hates. Yet when I tried to get guidance, I got none. I'm going to go cry some more.

Moving on

Hi everyone!!! Today has been a busy day. I got up, cleaned the kitchen, my bedroom, the bathroom, sent e-mails, read blogs, folded clothes, took out the recycling, paid the rent and got a gym membership. I am now exhausted. I'm very excited about the gym membership. It's practically across the street (less than a 10 minute walk) and has a pool. I get to meet with a personal trainer once for free and I'm doing that on Friday. Yeah!!! I get to swim again. And maybe pilates. Who knows? The possibilities are endless. I needed a pick me up. I e-mailed my dissertation proposal to my advisor yesterday and she will get back to me by the end of the week with comments. I know I said I was going to read a book for fun after I e-mailed her, but now I'm all paranoid that my proposal sucks and that I should really keep working on it. I think I'll compromise and organize the stuff I have, while still working on my Russian translations. That's what I'm going to do this afternoon, mostly cuz' it's already too late to take a nap.

Highschool fantasy

I feel much better today. I usually do after sleeping on things. I realized that even though she apologized I couldn't accept it because she was basically apologizing for hurting me with her actions, but she wasn't apologizing for her actions. Which means she will continue with those and I just don't have time for that in my life. But, it bothered me because what in the world would make someone who is always complaining about not having any friends treat her only long-time friend like that. And I don't like the answer, but really, it's the only one that makes sense. Andrea admitted she had no adequate excuse for her actions. Then why are you still defending them? When she said she was upset because we eloped and didn't tell her, she was only telling part of the truth. She was upset because I eloped with Wes. I think she's still holding on to her highschool fantasy that someday her and Wes will be together. That's why she couldn't give me a reason. I think it's pathetic and sad that a fantasy means so much to her that she would give up her friend for it. They never dated, never slept together, nothing. It's just a fantasy. I guess that's what she wants though. I hope she can get over it though, because otherwise, her marriage is in some serious trouble. And I am proud of myself because when we were talking, I didn't bring it up at all (I had decided beforehand not to: yes, I pretty much already knew this is why she refused to come to our wedding). But I have you guys, so I don't need her. Thanks!

Break up

Well, I spoke to Andrea this afternoon. And now I'm even more confused. I told her that she had upset me and made me feel like her material wealth was more important than our friendship. She apologized for hurting my feelings, but not for what she did. That confused me. I was surprised she apologized, but how could she not understand why this upset me. I asked if I had done anything wrong and she finally admitted she was mad because we eloped without telling her and that she was mad because I went to Russia last summer instead of her wedding (I can't wait to hear what Camille has to say about that!). See, I told Andrea BEFORE she set her wedding date when I would be gone. She set the wedding for 2 weeks before I came back. When I pointed this out to her, she asked if I would postpone my wedding from Oct. to Feb. What!?! She said that it was only me that saw things that way. She also said I showed no interest in her wedding. I reminded her that I always asked for pictures of stuff and whenever we talked, she always told me she was tired of talking about her wedding. Then she pretty much started pulling stuff out of her ass and making stuff of. She also made a comment that could be interpreted as "I probably should have come up with a better excuse since you know how much I make." She also complained that when I visit TX I don't see her enough. Even though I have family there and usually don't have a car and she lives an hour away and has never offered to come get me. Anyway, she said she wanted to save the friendship but I told her I didn't feel like it was a friendship. I did tell her that I didn't think I could talk to her but maybe we could e-mail. I also told her I didn't really think of her as a friend because I didn't feel like she treated me like a friend.

I told Wes (he's at work) that I feel bad about it, but he said that I was justified. So, what do you think?

I have to ask.

Ok, I wasn't going to write about this, but it's driving me crazy and I need some opinions. It has to do with Andrea. You remember her, right? The girl who claimed I was her best friend but then became a total bitch when I married Wes. Yeah, her. Anyway, since I've moved to VA I haven't heard from her. At all. Now, all my other friends have either called, e-mailed, or left me sweet messages in my comments (or even in their blogs). Not Andrea. In fact, I called her once and after she heard that Wes and I were actually getting along very well, the conversation was pretty much over. I did mail her a thank-you for the very generic wedding gift she gave us, but I did that 2 days ago (I wasn't really feeling very thankful). Then, last night, guess who called and who obviously isn't aware that there's a time difference. So I didn't answer (because the phone was downstairs and I didn't get to it in time). She also left a message that went something like this: this is Andrea, you know your friend you haven't called in a long time. Since I haven't heard from you I thought I should call. Here's my phone number since you've obviously forgotten it (yes, that really was pretty much what she said). All in a very monotone, I don't care if I ever hear from you again voice. Now, in all honesty, I don't want to call her. I get sick to my stomach thinking about talking to her. Therefore, I don't think I should. That's just stress I don't really need in my life right now. Wes thinks I should call her and at least tell her why I don't want to be her friend. Opinions? Just let it go or let her know? Which should I do?

Off topic

I love to travel and ever since I was a teenager I swore I was going to visit every state in the USA and every country in the world (yes, I'm ambitious. And way behind). So when Clarity had a map of the USA with the states she had visited and a link, I just had to try it. So, here is a map of the USA and the states I have visited.
I thought it would look a lot more empty than that. I don't feel so bad anymore. It's just that I've STILL not been to New York city. We were going to go for our honeymoon, but now we don't have the time for that (or the money). I think we're going to go next year, before I go to Russia. And Wes wants to drive, so maybe I'll get to visit more states!

Ok, I'll leave you with that, because I honestly don't have enough energy to write more.

Monday Confusion

Yesterday was Wes's only day off for the next 2 weeks. And he didn't have Saturday off either, just yesterday. The Navy sucks. So, we worked on finance stuff. I have to be put on all his accounts (and he seems to have millions of them) so when he's at sea I can take care of them. And we want to do a budget, because that's the responsible thing to do and I would like, someday, to be well-off. That doesn't just happen. It starts with a budget. We went to church and then went window shopping (because right now we're broke) and we went to a pet store and discussed all the various pets we would like someday. I like big dogs, but he likes the small ones, which I don't think really qualify as dogs at all, but we came up with something we could both live with. We both love cats, so that wasn't difficult. We played a couple of computer game against each other. Blowing each other up is always fun. And we decided that when we do adopt, that we are combining our last names.

I never realized how last names seem so important to people who don't really matter. One of Wes's relatives actually told me (over the phone: I've never met her before) that if our kids didn't have his last name, people would think they were bastards. And it's a good thing she told me that over the phone so she didn't see me laughing hysterically. Is there still such a thing as bastard children? But it was an issue because I didn't change my name when we got married and I kind of wanted to pass my name on. But we came up with a combination that we both really like. So, our children will be: Weston (after my grandpa) Luke Marcek and Rebekah (no middle name yet) Marcek. That last part is pronounced check. Just so you know. So now that's settled.

I woke up last night at 3:00am freaking out about school. I realized that I want to do my month long research trip in October because Wes will be gone that month. That's only in two months. And, for the application stuff, I have to write a page long essay IN RUSSIAN about my research. And then when I'm in Russia, I'll have to speak IN RUSSIAN a lot. Because most people there don't speak English (and why should they?). And, to make it worse, almost everything in the RUSSIAN archives are IN RUSSIAN. My Russian stinks, even though I've been translating Russian texts for at least an hour everyday for the entire summer, I feel like my Russian has not improved. Besides, that doesn't help my speaking and I'm reading stuff about the government. That's not really useful day to day speaking stuff, especially since most Russians refuse to talk about the government or anything political. I mean, I'm not really learning how to make small talk here. So today the search of local universities and colleges for possible Russian tutors will begin. And hopefully end before I lose steam.

And the dissertation proposal continues. Today, lots and lots of translating and hopefully typing of the historiography section. Note to those writing a history dissertation proposal: type the bibliography first before the historiography section. It really does make it easier to see what you're working with and what you still need to read. To everyone else: sorry for boring you. But I should have plenty of time because Wes has duty tonight, so I won't see him until Tuesday night.

Finally, I'm going to start keeping a health journal because Wes thinks I have entirely too many headaches. And I agree. I just thought I had them because I'm a student and reading that much gives headaches. And being hunched over a desk for at least 5 hours a day. And, he doesn't understand that women get headaches at certain times of the month. But, I do agree with him in that they make me miserable and so I make him miserable and so they have to stop. Maybe if I keep a journal I'll see a pattern or maybe the doctor will. Hopefully. At least they're not migraines. Usually, they're just a combination of a sinus and tension headache (yes, at the same time). Fun, fun, fun.

Ok, I hope everyone had a great weekend. I need to get at the dissertation proposal.

Woohoo!!!

The Navy sent my husband home early last night!!! Guess what we did!!! It was nice having more than 15 minutes and it was really, really good. I'm still having weird hang-ups about being married to WES from HIGHSCHOOL, so sometimes things are a little weird in that area, if you know what I mean. But not last night.

And today, I'm cramping really bad!!! Why is that good? Well, my boobs starting swelling up over a week ago. Absolutely huge, for me. Which basically means they actually starting peaking out of my 34Bs. Still, huge for me. And my husband, being supportive, kept asking me: are you sure you're not pregnant? AHHHHHHHH!!!!! NO!!!! I AM NOT PREGNANT!!! Of course, I didn't actually know this, but therefore, I am very happy to be cramping. Aren't you guys glad you know all of this?

The dissertation proposal is up to 5 pages without footnotes, historiography section or bibliography. I'm still reading stuff and I'm also going to start adding the bibliography today. I'd like to get done in enough time to let someone read it before I send it to my advisor. That means I really gotta get on it. Which means I should probably quit wasting time here and get to it!

Shouldn't this be easy by now?

I started typing my dissertation proposal today. Not having written one before (what? Like you all have written dissertation proposals lying around your houses), I have pretty much stolen the outline of my brilliant friend Sarah, whose proposal is long, brilliant and long. With a 15 page bibliography. That includes sources from at least five different languages (English, French, German, Russian and either Hebrew or Yiddish or maybe both). I think my proposal will be closer to 10 pages with an eight page bibliography. So far, I have 2 pages, but I haven't added in footnotes, which usually take half a page or so,which would take it to 4 pages (in case you can't add). And, almost all my paragraphs open exactly like Sarah's with my topic substituted for hers. As we have two of the same professors on our committees, I'll go back later and substitute very basic, short words for the five-dollar words she uses, which I'm sure the professors know I don't know or use. I'm excited about this, but terrified. I have to prove I know enough about a topic no one has researched yet in order to get permission to research it. Did you follow that logic? That's what makes this difficult.

This weekend was Allison's birthday, so yesterday, Wes's only day off during the week, we drove four hours to the kids house. She liked the presents we brought and we stayed about 4 1/2 hours. We found out that the x and her man got married while they were on vacation. This actually makes Wes very happy because it's a more stable situation (she's less likely to run off somewhere else). I had great conversations with both the x and her husband. The kids gave me hugs hello and good-bye and spent much time yelling, "Stacy, watch this!" I took that as a good sign. Then, reluctantly, we climbed in the car and drove four more hours home. Then collapsed, as Wes had to be to work by six this morning.

I obviously had allergies to something here. I am currently trying allergy medication, as my main symptom is massive sinus headache. As most of you probably realize, reading and writing with a headache is nearly impossible and definitely not fun. They seemed to be working until yesterday and today. But, we had ridiculous amounts of sugar yesterday, in addition to sitting in a car for eight hours. Then today, I cleaned for an hour and half, in addition to sitting in a car for eight hours yesterday. At least I hope that's why my head hurts today.

I guess that's really it for now. Although I would like to add, Nadia I love you and I would buy your rice krispies if I were in Madison.

Evidence!!!

Look!!! A growing pile of dirty clothes less than five feet from the dirty clothes hamper.


The empty Dr. Pepper cans scattered about the house indicate that Wes was here. More proof that I have a husband!!!

I did have human contact yesterday though. I had coffee with a woman I met and I really like her. She's smart, funny and I think we have a lot in common. That makes me happy.