Birds, Books and a Bean

Someone pissed off God

2011-08-26T09:57:00.002-05:00

So, we live several miles away from the Great Dismal Swamp, which has been on fire since the beginning of Aug. Many days it is very smokey and we can't really leave the house.

Earlier this week there was an earthquake.

Navy Bean and I are leaving today because of Irene.

Someone really pissed off God.

ps. Wes has to stay because he is considered essential personnel for his command. No, he is not on a ship. I wish he were, he would be safer.

Fly away

2011-06-04T10:01:00.006-05:00

I'd love to be telling you about all the neat stuff going on here. There's a ton of stuff. We've got bluebirds in our box and they have 4 eggs. We have a great garden going. Wes is taking the month of June off, so we've been going to the zoo and stuff like that. It's all good.

These radishes are delicious!
The Navy Bean won't eat them though,
she's says they're too "sour."

But, this post is going to be about how the Navy Bean was almost killed in a freak wind storm.

In order to keep my sanity, we got the Navy Bean a swingset. Before it got hotter than hell here, we were probably outside for 3 hours every day. She LOVED her playset. We loved her playset. The playset was all good.

Then, one day we were outside, and in less than 10 minutes, the sky went from sunny with no clouds to pitch black. The Navy Bean was in the fort part of her playset, and as Wes and I were heading to get her and take her inside, a freak wall of wind, (about 70 miles an hour) picked the playset up, took it straight into the air and dropped in down. With the Navy Bean in it. We were terrified and screaming and she was screaming. Those were probably the worst moments of my life. Go back and look at the picture of the playset. Look at what is around it and behind it. Yeah, nothing but ground that is as hard as concrete.

The back wall of the fort is a tarp. Thankfully, she was pushed into the tarp and didn't hit her head of any of the wood. She came down on a very small shrub. Pretty much the only shrub in the yard. She walked away with 2 quarter size bruises and that was it. Oh, and a fear of wind (but only in our yard, everywhere else she is fine).

The Navy Bean showing you how big she is in comparison to the shrub she landed on.

She is fine. She was back outside within two hours, lamenting the fact that her playset was broken. Wes has fixed it, but now it's so hot we don't go out much. And she's afraid of the wind.

But she does talk about it. "Big, big storm and big, big wind come. They take playset up, up, up and throw it down to the ground! Navy Bean go up, up, up and then down to the ground. I really scared. But I okay now. God keep me safe. Storm go away. I no scared anymore."

Thank God he did keep her safe.
I don't think I could live without seeing this face everyday.

New year

2011-02-12T13:43:00.003-05:00

Wes is home. I can't remember if I already told you that. During his vacation, he decided to get stuff done around the house. Mostly, because he wanted to feel useful and like it was his house again, and also because we didn't have anything else planned (and we all ended up getting several colds too, so not like we really wanted to do much of anything). He painted the downstairs bathroom. I had picked out the color and even bought the paint, before he got home. I had actually done all that before I got sick. This picture doesn't really show how pretty the color is, but it is much better than the old, boring color.

Since painting this room was on my list of 101 things, I painted two of the walls. And, I got to mark it off my list. Now, I just need to make curtains for it, and find a few more things to put on the walls.

We also painted the dining room. I also had this all picked out before Wes got home. We have a chair rail in the room, but the paint was the same color on top and bottom, which just looked weird to me. I picked out a nice shade of gray, since our curtains are burgundy. Wes was happy with the gray, and I painted the room myself (another thing on my 101 list). However, we also have these weird pillars, and I wanted to paint the interior of the wainscoting a brighter shade of the curtains. Wes was not so sure about that, but I finally convinced him (after he bought two other shades that he ended up not liking. I have no idea what we're going to do with that paint.).

Part of the problem was that the top of the pillars were white, which is NOT the same color as the rest of the paint. So, we painted the top of the pillars to match the room, and the bottom the gray color, with the red.

I'm not actually sure why I wanted to paint the dining room. It's not like we use it. But, it is the first room you see when you come in the front door. And now, I think we're going to try to find a china cabinet/buffet on Craig's list and then maybe we'll start using it.

I don't think the red looks bad with the curtains, but Wes is not so sure. We're going to get a rug, to make sure the chairs don't scratch the floor, and I think we're going to try to find one with various shades of red in it. We're also going to put up artwork that has both colors. He wants me to find new curtains, but I think it looks just fine the way it is (these pictures were taken when it was dark, so we had the lights on. In natural light, the contrast isn't so noticeable).

So, that's what I've been up to.

Slow-mo

2011-01-12T09:23:00.002-05:00

It's January, and still, not normal. But I can't really explain how it's not normal. Most of the time, I'm perfectly fine. I still need to nap, to reset stuff but otherwise, I'm back to my regular routine. However, when I turn my head quickly (or sometimes, not too quickly) I can tell I'm not 100%. (Yes, this makes driving a pain in the butt.) It's kind of like those bad 80's movies, where they're at the carnival and suddenly everything is in delayed slow motion. You know things are moving more quickly than your brain is processing them. Annoying, but not a disaster anymore. I still haven't had the MRI done. They said they have plenty of spots between 1 and 4 AM!!!! Yes, I'll be right there. But, Wes will be home soon and even though I hate the thought of taking out all of my earrings again (11 earrings: they take forever to get back in), I should probably just do it.

So, overall, I'm thankful that things are the way they are. They could be much worse. The worse part is the Navy Bean. She's fine when we go places or when I leave her at the babysitters (home, mama! pointing at the door so I will leave), but at home, she has become quite clingy. I have to stay in her line of sight. And one day, while we were napping (yes, together), she started talking in her sleep. Mama go? Mama go!?! (the panic was evident) Mama go!!!! and then she started wailing. And because she was asleep, I couldn't comfort her, because I wasn't mama, I was just some person. I know she won't remember this for long (hey, why is half the neighborhood standing in my kitchen over my mom and why are those guys taking her into that truck, and who is this person who is taking me away?) I'm thankful she is only two and this won't scar her for life. But, until this happened, I told her "mama will always come back." Now, I tell her, "mama will make sure there is always someone to take care of you." And I guess that's really the best I could ever do anyway.

Stop the rocking

2010-12-06T14:36:00.002-05:00

So, the vertigo attack happened on Oct. 21st. I'm still not normal. I am home, by myself. I can drive. I can cook. I cannot handle stores (good thing we're doing Christmas in mid-Jan.). Lots of movement makes me dizzy and tired. But, I can take care of the Navy Bean, even if it means way more TV than I would like. I spent three weeks in Texas. It was a good trip. And then my father-in-law drove us home, and stayed for a week.

I had my ENT appointment today. They think it was just a very strong (and pissed off) viral attack to my right ear. They are going to do a MRI just to make sure I don't have a tumor, but they seriously doubt it (they just want me to remove all my earrings again). And, not related to the vertigo, I am apparently mildly deaf in both ears. Now I actually have an excuse when Wes asks why I can't hear him.

I feel like this has derailed a lot of things I was trying to do, but it also make the deployment go by a lot faster. Still, it would be nice to be back to normal.

Falling into vertigo

2010-10-29T09:52:00.002-05:00

I was going to tell you about all the projects I have going on: the new plants, the paint I bought, the stuff I'm making for the Navy Bean's birthday. But then, I ended up lying on my kitchen floor for an hour and half, in my own vomit, trying to get the Navy Bean to get my purse so I could call someone. The neighbors broke in through the open kitchen windows, called 911, took care of the Navy Bean for 2 days, while I was in the hospital. My mom came out and today, my parents are driving us to Texas. Vertigo. It's no laughing matter. I could take care of myself. I still can't drive, but I have neighbors who could do that for me. But, I cannot take care of a very active (almost) 2 year old. So, to Texas I go, for about 3 weeks. That's how long the doctor said it may take. I hope it doesn't take that long, but right now, I would believe it.

@#%*&!!!

2010-10-14T13:11:00.002-05:00

This post was supposed to be written from Greece (#3) where I was going to visit Wes, with the Navy Bean. His ship is in port for a full week and we were going to take a military flight to get there ($20 a person). It is October, so we were assured that we should be able to get a seat, no problem. See, it works in order of importance: military personnel with orders (and their families, if they're being transferred), military personnel on leave, spouses with military personnel on leave, unattended spouses and families (that would be me), and then retirees. Usually, this flight wouldn't be that busy because there wouldn't be families trying to fly overseas for Christmas or whatever. However, a bunch (20 or so) of army guys with orders showed up the afternoon we were trying to leave. I was number 8 (and 9 for the Navy Bean) on the waiting list. Only three people on the waiting list got on the plane. Stupid Army. I just keep reminding myself that those Army guys were probably going somewhere most of us don't want to be. But, since the flight only leaves once a week, it meant we wouldn't get to see Wes. Sucks ass.

If you have to suck ass, it might as well be a cute one!

Sad state

2010-10-09T09:22:00.002-05:00

I have been working on a good post, but it'll take away. So this week, instead of something funny, we'll be talking about foreclosures. How fun!

We bought our house a year ago. I love my house. It is truly our dream house. It is in a great, small neighborhood. Only 42 lots. The lots are big. There's a pond. The neighbors are AWESOME. I really love it here. We had the house built for us, as did about half the people who live here. The other half bought houses that were already built, but not finished, allowing them to customize the inside.

This community was begun in 2006, so it's only been here for about 4 years. But, the first houses were built, and sold, during the height of the housing bubble. There is one house that has less upgrades than ours, approximately $5000 less in upgrades, according to our pricing sheet, but they paid $20,000 more for their house. There's another that had about $12,000 more in upgrades than our house (again, according to the price list we were given) but they paid about $60,000 more than we did. Likewise, several houses that were built and then sold just this year sold for about $20,000 less than our house. (I want to add that I've been in several of the houses that have the same floor plan as ours, and I like mine the best!) Some of the neighbors are bitter about this, but hey, that's the housing market. They're very bitter that one family ended up selling their house at a short sale, thus "ruining" the price of the rest of the neighborhood. We plan on being here for 10 years, so we don't really care that much.

But like I said, this neighborhood has only been here for about 4 years. When I got back from Texas, I noticed that one of the houses looked like it was empty. This was a little odd, as the house had never had a "for sale" sign out front and the owner's had planted 10 trees this past spring (they all look dead now). I talked to other neighbors, and nobody knew what had happened, we all just knew the house was empty (we didn't know them). Yesterday I drove by and there were several brightly colored pieces of paper stuck to the windows and a special lock on the door. I didn't go and read the papers, but I'm assuming the house has been foreclosed on. I'm sure some of our neighbors will be pissed that this will further reduce the value of our houses, but it just makes me sad. What happened? Why didn't they try to sell the house? Why did they plant all those trees if they knew they were having problems? (Yes, the planting of the trees really bothers me!) I hope the best for the family. I hope they found someplace safe for their family. I hope that whatever caused their financial problems is soon rectified. I hope they're okay.

Better get on that

2010-09-30T09:57:00.004-05:00

I just went over my 101 things list and it's looking kind of pathetic. I was really hoping to get a lot of the bird-watching one done at the end of Sep. beginning of Oct. because that's when fall migration is really going strong. That way, I could increase my bird count (#24) while visiting a bunch of new bird places (#7-#22). However, I believe Noah just set up shop in my backyard swamp and it's supposed to continue raining for about another week (not quite 40 days, but it's starting to feel like it, especially with the Navy Bean going stir crazy). I had been really good about calling non-family members once a month (#89), but I just realized it's the last day of Sep. and I haven't called anyone. The person I was going to call just posted on facebook that she's at the zoo with her daughter's kindergarten class. I guess it's a good think I have more than one friend! And we had a play date in Aug. (#91), but we didn't have one for Sep. But, I didn't state it had to be consecutive months, so I going to say that's OK.

I have renewed my passport (#5) and I plan on using it soon. But I can't really talk about that now (highly classified secret Navy stuff). Let's just say I am reading a new bird book. I was starting to read on a regular basis (#42-#49), but then, it happened. I got to an old favorite and realized I couldn't read it. Not because it wasn't as good as I remembered it, but because the print was too small. Someone shrunk the print in many of my books. I do have reading glasses, but they give me a headache if I wear them too long. This has discouraged me, but I need to just get over it!

As to the food: I tried the Greek restaurant (#38) and it sucked. But, I did find a recipe for perozhkis (#35) and it was great! The recipe made them appetizers and the ones I wanted were bigger, so I'll just fix that next time I made them.

I actually started a new afghan yesterday, but then the Navy Bean found it today and unravelled most of it. I'll just start it again tonight. Mostly I've just been working on playing Dragon Age (#95-96). But, I've been feeling way too lazy because of this, so it's time to get my butt in gear and get some of these things done!

My boring self

2010-09-24T09:47:00.002-05:00

I'd love to be able to tell you that I've been gone doing interesting stuff, but that's not true. The Navy Bean is going through a phase where I have to spend EVERY SINGLE MINUTE paying attention to her, which makes blogging a tad bit difficult. I know I could blog once she goes to bed, but by then I'm exhausted and I want to do something fun, like play Dragon Age and try to seduce my companions (you should try it: guilt free casual sex).

I am planning something interesting, but I won't be able to talk about it for a month. I know, I'm such a tease.

Now, I will leave you with an IQ story (because those are so much fun). IQ Jr. is doing massive amounts of therapy, both physical and speech (among other things). He is not developing as quickly as he should. They should be grateful that Mr. IQ is in the Navy, because insurance is paying for everything (yes, your tax dollars are being spent to help a child who probably wouldn't have issues if IQ didn't ignore him all the time). Anyway, they recently bought a house, a pretty nice one, I should add. When I went to see it, I asked why the dining room had crayon all over the walls (every, single, wall). IQ replied that she had been unpacking upstairs and left IQ Jr. downstairs. First, why are you leaving a 2 year old on a different floor (only acceptable for short periods of time, or if he's sleeping), second, the stairs were open in the back, meaning he could have fallen through if he had tried to climb up, third, he was in the room next to the kitchen and fireplace. Let's not even think about what could have happened there. So, yes, IQ's mothering skills still suck.

And, in other IQ news, she has decided she will not have sex with her husband until she loses weight. Apparently her head starts shaking when they have sex. Now, I have no idea what that has to do with her weight (and yes, she does need to lose weight), but, since I once asked my husband if both IQ and Mr. IQ put bag over their heads when they have sex, I'm not really sure if I should feel bad for Mr. IQ or not.

I'm back

2010-09-16T15:19:00.003-05:00

I was in Texas, visiting the family for two weeks. I have been home for a week, but boy, things were crazy here. The Navy Bean had/has sleep issues, and the lawn needed to be mowed, the house cleaned, groceries bought, and I'm on the committee for the moms' group that started again yesterday. The trip was good. I got to go out with Camille, without the Navy Bean, and we had margaritas and a great time. I had lunch with an old boyfriend, and had to laugh when he said his only regret about us was that we never slept together. Um, isn't that the regret of every man towards every woman he has ever met in his entire life who has not slept with him? But it was great seeing him again and we had a great (if short, stupid weather/traffic) time. The Navy Bean was still afraid of my brother, but eventually warmed up to him and gave him a kiss. My brother has lost more than 35 lbs and he looks AWESOME! I'm very proud of him.

But, this is by far the most exciting thing going on around here:

look closely. There's pee in that potty chair!!!!

Prodigal IUD

2010-08-24T07:46:00.002-05:00

I had a Doctor's appointment yesterday to locate my prodigal IUD. Turns out, since the strings were super short, they had just gotten pushed up where I couldn't find them. So everything is OK!!!! I'm still making Wes get fixed when he gets home.

Cornhole games

2010-08-20T12:25:00.003-05:00

Most of you know that I spent much of my life living in Dallas, TX. It's kind of the south, but not really, more southwest. People have strange twangs, but not true southern accents (ok, some of them have ridiculous accents, but that's another post). They eat a lot of fried food, they love their beer and country music, a lot of them are racists. But, until I moved to Virginia, I did not realize that Texas was not truly south. I love Virginia, but whew boy! Half the time I'm not sure what language the natives are speaking (these would be the same people that spout off "learn English" to anyone who doesn't look, or sound, American). The country music is worse, the racism, not as bad as I expected, the bar-b-que, worth dying for. But, the biggest surprise is their love of cornhole.

Go ahead and look puzzled while trying not to giggle like a 12 year old boy. Apparently cornhole is a very, VERY popular game. You try to throw bags, filled with corn, through a hole in a board. Hence the name, cornhole. I guess some people have tried to change the name (why? why would you want to do that?) but it hasn't taken (what's wrong with beanbags?). The first time we heard about it was an article in the paper. Wes read the headline, "Cornhole is a favorite" and said, "cornhole IS great!" I don't think he actually read the article. Ahem! During this summer, cornhole has been EVERYWHERE. On the radio (come down and play cornhole with us!), in the paper (come down and play cornhole with us!) and in the neighbors yards (come over and play cornhole with us!)! And every single time, I have to fight not to giggle like a 12 year old boy. (This reminds me of when my very virginal sister was about to get married and we were at lunch with our mom when my sister asked if Christians were allowed to be freaky in bed. My mom and I kind of looked at each other and asked what she meant by freaky. She said, "oral sex" and then my mom and I tried not to die laughing, because neither one of us consider that freaky (if you ever meet my mom, pretend you don't know that about her) and said that was fine. Boy, my sister would be embarrassed if she knew about my husband's love of "cornhole." And this writing is a perfect example of why my advisor thought I would never be able to write a dissertation.) Anyway, I have yet to play a game of cornhole, even though I know at least two of our neighbors own the game. I guess I just think your cornhole games should be private.

Review

2010-08-06T10:55:00.004-05:00

Have I mentioned how much I hate blogspot? I tried to copy and paste my 101 things list, from my blogspot post, and it won't let me. It's already in blogspot!!!! Why can't I use it again??? Also, blogspot refuses to show me the word verification, so I can't comment on my own posts, or anyone elses who uses blogspot. This is when I wish I knew a little bit more about tech stuff. I find it ironic that spellcheck on blogspot does not recognize the word blogspot.

Anyway. I have been doing stuff on my list. Let's review:

1. Update my blog once a week. I'm pretty sure, that no matter how boring, I have been doing this.
2. Update Navy Bean's blog twice a week. I have also done this.
4. Renew my passport. Went out in the mail this morning.
29. Make one vegetarian meal a week for 6 months. I've actually been making two a week. So there!
39. Get a library card. Did that on July 24, 2010
40. Use said library card twice. Done and done. Although, I certainly plan on using it more than twice, especially with all the books I plan on reading.
43. Read something by Dan Brown. I've read both Angels and Demons, and The DaVinci Code.
44. Read 50 books. I've read two and started another two.
65. Put calendar on dry erase board every month. It's been done within the first week of each month.
66. Take care of mail every Tues. OK, the point of this was to help me take care of the mail more than once a month. It is now getting done every week, but not necessarily on Tues. Good enough.
72. Organize my yarn. Done July 18, 2010.
89. Call a friend once a month for 6 months. Did that for July, but not for Aug. yet.
99. Send Wes 2 care packages while he's deployed: First one sent July 27, 2010. He still hasn't received it.
100. Find a babysitter. Well, I did have one, but since I asked her TUESDAY if she could come sometime this week and she told me she would call me back and it's FRIDAY, I think I need to keep looking.

So, I have completed four of the 101, and I'm working on ten. I'm happy with how things are going. I love that this list keeps me motivated and reminds me that I have things to do, other than clean and take care of the Navy Bean. I'm already thinking of things for my next 101 list and I'm even thinking of doing some mini-things, like 3 things in 30 days. I know, I know, my life is just too exciting!

Sleeeeeeep!!!!!

2010-08-02T16:23:00.003-05:00

Since it was the first yesterday, I wanted to go over my 101 list and see how it looks. But, since I'm sleep deprived, I can't even find my list right now. Apparently, a certain Navy Bean is having some serious separation anxiety issues, but they only show up at night. So, for the past 5 days, I've had a Bean in bed with me. Do you know how much a little Bean can move? Too much! So I'm tired and I'm trying to figure out what to do. I have a feeling it's just a normal phase (with added stress from daddy being gone) and everything will be fine in a week or two. By then, though, I'll be a zombie!

TMI!!!!! TMI!!!!!

2010-07-27T14:38:00.002-05:00

Otherwise known as: The case of the missing IUD

After the Navy Bean was born, Wes wanted to get a vasectomy, but I wanted him to wait until she was two, just in case we decided we wanted another one. I tried going back on the pill, but since I was breastfeeding, it was too difficult, so I got an IUD. It seemed to be working just fine, with a few minor issues, but those were taken care of. For those of you who don't know about IUDs, you are supposed to check to make sure they are in place after you have your period. Apparently, when your uterus "opens" up, they can fall out. Since I breastfed the Navy Bean until she was 17 months old, I've only recently started having periods again (two and a half years without a period, why wouldn't you breastfeed?). Anyway, the IUD has "strings" on it, but they really feel more like fishing line, and that's what you're supposed to feel for. I used to check a couple times a month, but now I just check after my period. I started my last period two weeks before Wes left for deployment. I know I checked for my IUD after that. At least, I think I did. All I know is that a couple of days after Wes left, I checked for it, and couldn't find it. Well, maybe the strings got wound up, or something. Checked the next day, nothing. The day after that, nothing. Now, based on the schedule of when Wes left, I figured I was okay, but I was still a little nervous. I am happy to report that I am NOT pregnant!!!!! YAY!!!!! And there was much rejoicing!!!! But now, I know for sure that I don't want another baby. When Wes gets back, he will get that vasectomy.

Some people have asked why I don't get taken care of, but the truth is, I'm just not ready for that. I mean, Wes is in the military, so there is always (God forbid) the chance that something could happen to him. And if that happened, who's to say I wouldn't end up with Magnus Scheving and then maybe we'd want to have a baby together? Stranger things have happened. Like an IUD gone missing.

Garden delights

2010-07-21T11:08:00.003-05:00

We love to bird watch and we have five bird feeders that we keep pretty well stocked. That gets pretty expensive. So we planted a flower garden, the kind the birds could eat.

Not all the flowers came up. Our soil is clay and it's really hard to get stuff to grow. And I forgot to fertilize, so our six rows of sunflowers are a little short. Next year we're going to till deeper and add more top soil.

But our zinnias are growing just fine. We planted petites and regular zinnias. I have seen American Goldfinches eating them, and I have seen a Ruby-throated Hummingbird eating from them as well.

I have also seem five different types of butterflies out there and I know nothing about butterflies. I should get a book about them, or something. Even the birds who don't eat flowers love our garden, because it provides shade and cover.

It also provides the Navy Bean something to smell!

Work that list

2010-07-19T08:14:00.002-05:00

Much of my list consists of organization.

That's because, with the Navy Bean,

stuff gets all a mess.

I know it doesn't take long to take care of stuff,

but it feels like a lot of stuff,

gets overwhelming, and then, nothing gets down,

the house becomes a mess and I get depressed.

But, when I finally clean and organize,

I feel better and actually have more free time.

This is all my yarn.

Notice my highly sophisticated and chic storage compartments.

This is my storage area.
Yeah, a little small.

I finally cleaned it up yesterday.

It took about a half hour.

Eventually I would love to have something nicer to store it all in,

something I can keep in the living room.

But for now, the closet it is.

And, as you can see,

there's a reason one of my other 101 things is to crochet

a certain amount of afghans.

On another note, with Wes gone, cooking is more difficult.

When it was just me, it wasn't that big of a deal if I ate crappy.

But now, with the Navy Bean,

it's important to eat healthy,

thus the vegetarian meals.

I made a frittata this week.

It was yummy, with asparagus and broccoli.

It needed a little spice though.

But, I burned my arm on the pan handle,

after I took it out of the oven.

OUCH!

Bad timing

2010-07-12T19:25:00.004-05:00

Enjoy this picture of the Navy Bean.

It's much more interesting than what I wrote.

So, I should have thought this through a little bit more. What was I thinking, trying to start this the same week Wes left for a 6 month deployment and the Navy Bean was sick?!? There are a few things I will probably have to change, like sending Wes 5 care packages while he's deployed. Apparently, I would have had to send the first one before he actually left, and he would have received the last one pretty much after they were home, in order to do that one. It's my list and I can tweek it if I want.

Here's the list

2010-07-05T12:58:00.003-05:00

I'm not sure what he did, but my husband was able to fix the copy and paste issue. Yay Wes.
So, here's my list. I broke things up into categories to help my scatterbrained self. And I should add, I stole this from Beth (see sidebar because I'm so tech incompetent that I don't know how to link from here).

101 things in 1001 days, started July 1, 2010, end March 28, 2013

BLOG
1. update my blog once a week
2. update Navy Bean's blog twice a week

TRAVEL
3. visit Italy
4. go to New York city
5. renew my passport
6. visit a place of historical significance in VA

BIRDING
7. go to Eastern Shore for fall migration
8. do a tour of fisherman's island
9. go to Jericho's ditch (Great Dismal Swamp) during spring migration
10. go to First Landing State Park for migration
11. go to back bay for fall migration
12. go to false cape park during the spring
13. go to stumpy lake
14. go to ragged island wildlife management area
15. go to craney island landfill
16. go to the Chesapeake bay bridge tunnel islands
17. go birding in Virginia's mountains
18. go to one birding festival
19. go to one Audubon event
20. go to Indian River park
21. go to Northwest river park
22. go to Deep Creek Lock park
23. find out how to get a backyard habitat certificate
24. add 75 new birds to my list (currently at 141)
25. do the "owl prowl"
26. go on a pelagic trip

COOKING
27. make a banana cream pie
28. make a lemon meringue pie
29. make 1 vegetarian meal a week for 6 months
30. learn to make pad Thai
31. find a kickin' beer bread recipe
32. find a tofu recipe I really like
33. learn to make one Indian recipe
34. learn to make crepes
35. learn to make those Russian things I love but can't remember the name of
36. make my own salsa (with my own veggies)
37. find a Thai restaurant I like
38. try the Greek restaurant

READING
39. get a library card
40. use said library card at least twice
41. take Navy Bean to the library once a month for 6 months
42. read something by Stephen King
43. read something by Dan Brown: Angels and Demons, 7/1/10
44. read 50 books
45. read a history book about every continent
46. read a literature book by an author from every continent
47. read the New Testament
48. read the Old Testament
49. study the book of James
50. write a children's bird book
51. write a mom's devotional book

CRAFTS
52. crochet 12 baby afghans
53. crochet 3 lap afghan
54. sew master bath curtains
55. make Navy Bean a twin size quilt
56. make curtain for the downstairs bathroom

HOME AND GARDEN
57. plant a vegetable garden
58. landscape the front yard
59. paint one room without Wes's help
60. paint the guest bath
61. paint the water closet in the master bath
62. start composting
63. get a successful flower garden in the backyard
64. paint the bottom of the bar in living room

ORGANIZING
65. put calendar on dry erase board every month
66. take care of mail every Tues.
67. tag all the pictures on my computer
68. go to bed every night for a week with the dishes clean
69. organize play room bookshelves
70. e-mail people back within two weeks for 6 months
71. take care of e-mail immediately for 2 weeks (instead of once a month)
72. organize my yarn
73. organize my material
74. organize my tupper-ware cabinet

HEALTH
75. buy a bike
76. ride said bike
77. dance with Navy Bean 15 minutes everyday (for a month)
78. get gym membership (with a pool)
79. swim twice a week (after getting gym membership)
80. go kayaking
81. make a list of 100 things that make me happy
82. do push-ups every other day for 30 days
83. do a work-out video once a week for 6 months

FINANCE
84. have $5,000 in savings account at end of 1001 days
85. have furniture paid off
86. buy a new car
87. get quicken reconciled and keep it that way
88. put all money saved by using coupons into the savings account

MISC.
89. call a friend once a month for 6 months
90. volunteer once a month for 6 months
91. schedule a play-date once a month for 6 months
92. find out what I need to do to get a teaching certificate
93. decide where I want to go to get my teaching certificate
94. potty train the Navy Bean
95. start and finish a new character in Dragon Age: Origin
96. start and finish a new character in Dragon Age: Awakening
97. learn 20 phrases in Italian
98. find a hairdresser
99. send Wes a care package 5 times while he's deployed
100. find a babysitter
101. learn how to make a movie on the computer from photos

101 things to do in 1001 days: Updated!

2010-07-02T19:59:00.003-05:00

I'm not dead!!!!!

I've just been busy, and boring.

But, I've decided to steal an idea from Beth's blog:

101 things to do in 1001 days

I started July 1, 2010 and will finish March 28, 2013

And now, I've discovered one reason I hate blogspot:

it won't let me copy and paste

and I'm not typing 101 things all over again!

UPDATE: I've tried everything suggested by help.

Nothing is working.

Thinking of switching to another blog.

Thankful

2009-11-26T09:39:00.003-05:00

thankful!

Happy Halloween

2009-10-31T06:44:00.002-05:00

Here is my little Garden Gnome!

She's actually sick and going to the doctor today.
But she is cute!

11 months

2009-10-11T08:54:00.002-05:00

I'm not dead, I've just been busy. Busy unpacking and cleaning and getting to know neighbors.
And busy chasing around a little girl who is going to be one year old a month from today.

Where's my baby?

The Navy Bean is practically running everywhere.

And she climbs on everything.

She is fearless.

The Navy Bean with bubby and sissy.

She loves big kids.

She wants to be a big kid.

She's a very happy baby.

We're trying to teach her to say "stinky" when she poops.

She can say it, but doesn't say it when she's poopy.

I can't believe my baby is growing up so fast.

She is using a fork and eats a ton of food.

But, she still nurses twice a night,

which, I suppose, is my fault.

Missing you

2009-09-11T10:48:00.002-05:00

I wish this post was going to be about the Navy Bean, who is 10 months old today. But it isn't.
I wish this post was going to be about our house, which we close on, on Monday. But it isn't.
I wish this post was going to be about something uplifting and happy. But it isn't.

This post is about my friend, Christopher Roberts.

I met Christopher my sophomore year of high school. I transferred to a large public school halfway through the year from a very tiny private school (from 20 students to 2000). Christopher was one of the first people I met. He was in my English class. And we were freaks (pre-Goth). He was small, about the same size as me. We became friends immediately. Christopher was funny, smart, loyal and a very talented artist. Many people thought we were dating because we often held hands, cuddled and hugged, but we never dated (more on that later).

We went to the same college and hung out together for our first two years. We loved each other deeply, but when we tried to kiss, it was honestly like kissing a sibling. But we still held hands, cuddled and hugged. Weird, yes, but it felt natural to us. He made sure my boyfriends treated me with respect and I made sure his girlfriends really loved him.

But then, I got engaged to a horrible man and most of my friends didn't approve, including Christopher. Add to that the fact that we both moved at the same time (him out of state) and we lost track of each other. I looked for him often, on-line, but with a name like Christopher Roberts, I had no luck. I missed him immensely, intensely and dreamed of when we would meet again. I wanted to hear what he had been doing. I wanted him to meet my new husband and my daughter. I wanted to hug my friend again. I wanted to tell him how much I missed him and loved him. But I had a very bad feeling.

And I was right. I received a message on facebook from a mutual friend of ours (someone I had also looked for but failed to find). I knew the message wasn't good. Christopher was murdered in 2007, on father's day. His first father's day. It hurts so much to know that I will never be able to tell him how much I love him. I hurts that I won't get to see him hold his little girl. I won't get to witness how much he loves the mother of his baby. But most us all, it hurts that I don't know if he knew how much he meant to me. I think he probably did. Our friend looked me up because he knew I would want to know, but also because Christopher's mother asked him to find me. I hope he knew. I hope, in his last seconds, he knew and felt the love of all the people who have known and loved him. I hope he knew that we all thought he was a wonderful, loving, loyal, thoughtful, caring person. I hope he knew that would help take care of his daughter and share pictures and stories with her. I hope he knew that even though he was alone, he wasn't alone.

I hope he knew.

Child Protective Services

2009-08-26T19:53:00.002-05:00

I called CPS on IQ today. I talked to her on the phone and asked why IQ Jr. was screaming. She said he did that when she put him in his room so she could play WOW. Is he in his crib? No. Just in his room. With the door shut? Yes. While you play WOW? Yes, because he doesn't really take naps anymore.

He's 16 months old. He still doesn't walk. Or do anything he should be doing at that age. I hope they take him away.

She's still talking about having another one.

House update

2009-08-22T11:49:00.003-05:00

We have a closing date for our house: Sep. 14th. It seems like it will never get here and yet, it is getting here too quickly. Every time we visit the new house, it is torture to come back to this tiny little place. We still have too much to pack and too much to do. But I can't wait!

The small part of the play room. Seriously.

Part of my kitchen. I guess the floors are down now too.

The fireplace.

The dining room ceiling.

The house. It now has a sidewalk and driveway.

I can't wait for Sep. 14th!

9 months old

2009-08-14T15:23:00.003-05:00

My little adorable Navy Bean is 9 months old. She is so big, and smart, and funny. I just want to hold on to her, and beg her to slow down, just a little bit. Stay small for a while. Stay mommy's girl for a while. Stay a Navy Bean! She just won't listen. I love her so much.

We need to start a fan club for her at the commissary. I think at least four people stop us every week and comment about how cute and happy she is. She eats the attention up. But they are right: she is cute and very, very happy. One of her favorite games is trying to take my magazine, or my crocheting and playing tug-of-war with them as I declare, "No, that's not Navy Bean's. That's mommy's." Apparently, everything is hers.

We still have some sleeping issues, but everything else makes up for it. Besides crawling at light speed, she has begun taking little steps. She's up to three now. Part of me wants her to stop it, part of me can't wait for her to wobble across the room to me. She loves to play Peek-a-boo. All the time. For a very long time. She will play it anywhere. She loves to duck below a chair to pop back up. She loves to hide behind blankets, stuffed animals, toys, hands, anything that can hide her eyes. She loves to play when nursing, covering her one visible eye with my shirt and giggling as I cry "oh no, where is the Navy Bean? She was just right here. Navy Bean, where are you?" and then she pops up only to cover her eye again before I can finish, "Oh, there you are!"

She is fearless. She would crawl off the bed everyday if we let her. She will find a way to make it over our make-shift gates. She is amazing and I love her to death.

Which is why I haven't written about IQ lately. Her son, who is 6 1/2 months older than Navy Bean is not walking yet (among other things). This is why: IQ called me the other day and told me she is now playing WOW on her husband's computer in the living room because that way IQ Jr. can be in his pack n' play and still see her, rather than her playing in the office, when he would have to stay in his crib in his own room all day.

Navy Bean is 8 months

2009-07-14T11:19:00.002-05:00

The Navy Bean is now 8 months old. I can't believe that much time has passed. She is so big now and more like a little girl than a little baby. I guess that's why I still like those nighttime feedings (ok, I would like ONE nighttime feeding, the rest can end).

Look at my beautiful teeth,

and not the uni brow I got from daddy.

She is such a joy to be around. Her middle name is Hope, because I hoped she wouldn't get my stress, my anxiety, my depression, but it should have been Joy, because that's what she is and that's what she gives to me.

Playing with Nana.

She can stand anywhere, using just about anything. And more and more, she lets go and just stands there by herself. And she is smart. She knows how to get back to the floor without falling. She seems to be learning so fast. She is already cruising around. Wes thinks she'll be walking by 9 months. I wouldn't be surprised, but I do wish she would slow down just a little bit.

Reading with Grandpa.

She's loves books and squeaky toys. She loves to be kissed all over and to laugh. She has two laughs, her real laugh, and her silly laugh, which sounds like a coughing machine gun. She is a VERY happy baby. She can play by herself, but loves it when I play with her.

To celebrate her 8 months here, she started climbing the stairs.

She loves classical music and the piano. Whenever she hears either, she stops what she is doing and dances. If she's crawling, that just means rocking back and forth, but if she's standing up, it's a strange combination of headbanging and the butt. She often crawls to the piano and stands up to play it. This makes me very happy.

Waving.

She also starting waving at people. Sometimes she gets very enthusiastic and waves with both hands, which is fine, because the one hander kind of looks like a heil Hitler. She wants to be a big girl so badly. And she is big. But she'll always be my little Navy Bean.

Twilight zone

2009-06-30T08:47:00.003-05:00

I was going to tell some IQ stories, but something even weirder happened. I know, how is that possible? You guys remember Charley, right? Charley, my ex, who also happened to be the best man at Wes's first marriage. Charley, the pot-head who brought out the absolute worst in me, and I in him. Charley, who has been engaged at least 4 times, yet never got married. Yeah, well, Charley is back, sorta.

Last fall, some friends of ours from TX, who also happen to live in VA, got married. Some friends of ours who still live in TX came out for the wedding, including Charley. Some of these friends stayed with us and told us a really interesting Charley story. See, Charley was dating a new woman. Nothing new there. But, there was some drama surrounding this woman. Apparently this woman was a repeated convicted felon, for identity theft and things of that nature. Our friend, a lawyer, had run a check on her, at the request of another of our friends. Turns out, there was a lot more shady stuff than she had told Charley. My friend let Charley know, and then things got weird. Apparently, Charley's girlfriend is very powerful and has some powerful family because they threatened my lawyer friend with ruining his career. If she is so powerful, how come she spent so much time in prison?

Anyway, we hadn't heard anything from Charley in a while, but we had heard that his new girlfriend treats him very well and really seems to be good for him. So, good for him. This past weekend, Wes and I got an e-mail from Charley's girlfriend. They are getting married this year and wanted our address. I replied with the usual: congrats and here's our address. She sent me a longish e-mail telling me she had really wanted to contact me before but wasn't sure how I would feel about that. She wanted us to get to know her and judge her for who she was and not what we had heard. She loved Charley sooooooo much and he's such an awesome man. He's a deacon at their church!!!! (I have to gripe about this because they are living together and not married. Yes, I've lived with a man I wasn't married to (Charley) but I wasn't a deacon. I wasn't even going to church. What kind of shady church is this?) And they would really love it if we could come out for the wedding. It would mean so much to Charley. And they wanted to know how the navy bean was.

I e-mailed back that I'm glad that Charley is doing so well and that we really just wanted what was best for him. We wouldn't be able to make it to the wedding though, because we're building a house (we have no extra money). She sent me about 6 e-mail with pictures and offered to pay for the plane tickets. Because us being there is what Charley really wants.

What!!!!!!!

Let's look at the facts. I met Charley in high school when I was hanging out with Wes. Charley and I dated for a while. He thought I liked Wes more (I did). Several years later, Charley was the best man at Wes's wedding. Several years after that, I was living with Charley and we were talking about getting married. After we broke up, he made me promise I wouldn't ever date Wes. Several years after that, I married Wes and had a baby.

Yes, I can see why Charley would want us both to be there. We have so much history!

Why does this woman want to be my new best friend? Sounds shady to me.

I'm over here!

2009-06-20T10:18:00.002-05:00

So I haven't been here a lot, but there's a very good reason. I am a stay at home mom. Do you know what stay at home moms do? We stay at home. The end. Although I am infinitely thrilled with the cuteness of Navy Bean and all her extraordinary powers, that's what her blog is for. I do have a few IQ stories, but, quite frankly, now that I'm a mom, her level of involvement with her son depresses me. But I do have some house news.

This is the Navy Bean's room.

This is what the house looked like yesterday.
We have a roof!

This is what it looked like last weekend, when we took the kids out there.

The kids are beyond thrilled that we're building a bigger house. They really didn't believe us at first. They thought that we were looking at houses and wanted to know what they thought (like we care what they think!). They were very excited when we told them we'd already bought it (ok, not really, we don't close until it's built, but you can't explain that to kids). Strangely, when they told their mom how huge our new house was going to be, she really didn't want to talk about it. (When she left Wes, she told him that her new husband was a multi-millionaire and they were going to build a new house. They still live in a rental and the x has told Wes they are basically living on our child support.) We are very excited and Oct. cannot get here soon enough. It is torture to come back to our little rental and cook in our tiny kitchen, knowing that soon I will have a kitchen the size of, well, a lot bigger. A lot, lot bigger. Meanwhile, hope everyone is doing well.

Snip or not to snip

2009-06-03T19:50:00.003-05:00

Wes doesn't want anymore kids. Which I understand. He has three. He wants to get snipped. I don't think I want anymore kids either, so what's the problem. I really don't know. I love the little Navy Bean so much, and if we were younger and could wait 4 or 5 years in between kids, I would probably want more. But we're already 35. His kids are 11 and 8. And I like sleep. I want to have space in between kids though. I want to be able to enjoy my time with the Navy Bean. She's in such a fun stage right now (when she's not teething). She can interact with you. You can see the light bulbs going off in her head, often one right after another. She is trying to figure stuff out. She's getting a sense of humor. Her personality is emerging. I don't want to have to put her on hold while I take care of another baby. I don't want her to have to share me. I want to spoil her. I don't really want another kid.

But I'm terrified something will happen. The Navy Bean could never be replaced. I wouldn't even want to try. But after becoming a mom, I don't know that I could stop being a mom. I don't even know if any of this makes any sense. I told Wes we should wait until she's two. It seems silly though, to wait, when I know I don't want another one. Suggestions on why him getting snipped freaks me out?

Catch up

2009-05-18T15:40:00.003-05:00

Guess who got teeth yesterday?

So, the Navy Bean sprouted two teeth yesterday. She had been teething for about a week and doing pretty well. Wes left today for 10 days. Today, the Navy Bean has been waaaaaay fussier than she was before the teeth came through. I hope that ends quickly, otherwise one of us might be dead before daddy gets home!

Everything has gone through for the house and they will start building this week, if it stops raining. We went and picked out colors Sat. and then my head exploded. It took FOREVER and we liked most of the stuff in the model. But, this means by Oct/Nov. we should have plenty of room for company from all over the world!

Now, I just have to clean the house and start packing. I figure I will kill two birds with one stone by baby-proofing/packing at the same time!

6 months

2009-05-13T08:53:00.004-05:00

My little Navy Bean is 6 months old. And she's not so little any more. At the moment she is not eating because she is getting teeth!!! But, when she does eat, it is a beautiful sight to behold.

Don't you just want to kiss those little rolls of fat?

She's learning so much new stuff it's hard to keep track of. She can't actually pull herself to standing yet, but she's working on it. She so wants to be a big girl. I am amazed at how smart she is. She knows the words "kiss" and "milk" and will respond accordingly. Her kisses are wet and sloppy, but they are the best kisses I have ever received.

Her smile lights up my day, no matter how little sleep we have gotten. My life has been so enriched by her, I could never imagine being without her.

I love her little goofy faces. I love it when she gives me a hug and a kiss without me asking. I love holding her in my arms. I love reading to her. I love taking walks with her. I love her.

She loves music. She loves the sound of the piano and was thrilled when she could make noise on it too. She loves classical music. She loves the drums. I hope she continues in this love.

Did I mention that she cracks me up?

It's been a wonderful 6 months. I love my Navy Bean more than I thought possible. I can't wait to see what the next 6 months bring (besides crawling, walking and more teeth).

Note to Wes

2009-05-04T10:39:00.001-05:00

When one of the ushers at church tells you your wife looks great and can you believe she just had a baby, the correct response is NOT, "it's been 6 months."

Moron.

The builder accepted our offer as it was. We have an appointment with the loan officer this week. We should know something by Wednesday and hopefully, start "building" by Friday.

The waiting game

2009-04-29T09:03:00.004-05:00

Yesterday we met with the builder's representation for 3 hours! We went over everything and signed so much stuff I felt personally responsible for the deforestation of the US (I was told the loan stuff would be even worse). Now we're just playing the waiting game, to see if they accept our offer.

The Navy Bean amused herself by rolling over for the first time (back to front).

What the fireplace would look like, well, maybe not.
I think we got the slightly smaller one, but we get the marble.

Not our kitchen layout, but the same cabinets, appliances and (maybe) hardware.

We went with granite counter tops, which is good, because their laminate was super cheap looking.

Exactly what our house would look like (minus the bike).

I guess we would have to pick different colors though.

I sure hope we get it.

White picket fence

2009-04-27T13:22:00.002-05:00

Have you ever had one of those surreal experiences? One where you're on your way to sign a year lease at the place you are living, only to swing by the bank first, just to see, out of curiosity if you could get a mortgage now and then, within a week, are picking out paint colors and carpet for the house you are building? Well, that was my week.

Wes and I had decided that we would stay in this place another year. Another year would let us pay off our credit debt completely and save up a little money for a down payment. But then, houses started selling in our area again, and there's that nice tax credit for first time buyers, and our credit card debt will be paid off by October, when Wes also gets promoted and gets a raise. We've had a lot of company around here (apparently babies do that) and it is clear that this place is way too small.

So we went to the bank, out of curiosity. We really wanted to see what we could get approved of in October. They approved us, right now, for $50,000 more than we expected. Well, we have a really good friend who is a realtor. We gave him a call. Two days later, we're driving to look at new houses (there are a ton out here and builders are desperate). The first place was GORGEOUS, but super expensive and the floor plans really weren't that practical for what we wanted (later, we went to Home Depot and saw the door knobs this builder had used and they were $60 a piece. No wonder the place was so expensive. And there was a light in the pantry. THE PANTRY. The sales guy said the builder was very environmentally friendly, which is why the light went off when you shut the door, like a fridge. But, it's the PANTRY. Why do you even need a light in the pantry? Thank you for listening to me rant). Then we drove to the second place.

Our friend had given me the floor plans and there was one that was perfect. I mean, almost exactly what I had always wanted. When we pulled up, Wes saw one of the houses that had already been built and said "that's exactly what I envision when I think of the house I want." Guess which house it was. Yup! The one I loved. He also loved the floor plan. But, you don't want to move too quickly, so we came home and talked about it. And called our parents. And then called the real estate agent back and said, set up an appointment. That's tomorrow and I hope everything goes well. I'm a little nervous. It would be so disappointing not to get it now. Keep your fingers crossed. And the best part: it would take 5 to 6 months to build, so we wouldn't actually get it until Oct, when we wanted it anyway (we'll sign a 6 month lease here).

The place is perfect for us. It has four bedrooms and a finished room over the garage. A living room, dining room, and a family room (the living room is the size of a den. We would put the piano and some book cases in there). The kitchen is nice and has a breakfast nook and we'll have a screened in porch, about the size of a small bedroom! What a perfect place to watch birds from. And a small porch in the front. And there's a little pond down the street. Ok, deep breath. I'm really trying to get ahead of myself, but this place would be perfect. Keep your fingers crossed.

Midnight

2009-04-21T07:58:00.002-05:00

I hear you crying and stumble out of bed. I put on my pajama bottoms and socks and a robe. I come into your room and see your little arms and legs pumping wildly, as if that would help me hear you. Even in the dark, I can see your smile when I pick you up.

I sit in the rocker and you quickly find what you're looking for. You curl your little body around mine. During the day, you're my big girl, but at night, you're still my tiny baby. You rest your plump little hand on my chest. I run my finger over it and marvel at how something so tiny can also be so chubby. I rub your fuzzy little head which is starting to sprout hair again. I grasp your chunky little legs and make sure they are warm.

Sometimes there is thunder.
Sometimes there is rain.
Sometimes there are even birds singing.
But usually, it is silent.

You detach and we switch sides. I'm amazed at how beautiful you are in the dark. When you are through eating, you stretch out and then rest your round cheek on my breast as you prepare to go back to sleep. I bring you up to my shoulder, where your fluffy, soft cheek rests against mine. I put my hand on the back of your tiny, silky head and I just cuddle you. I kiss your cheek and lay you down. You give me a sigh and a half smile, close your eyes, turn your head and go back to sleep.

I stumble back to bed, to sleep. But, this is my favorite time, when you and I are the only people in the world.

Getting it back

2009-04-18T11:00:00.002-05:00

Everything changes when you have a baby. It's such a cliche, but oh, so true too. Since I'm a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom), I figured I would still have plenty of time for myself. I mean, I understand why Camille's middle child was three before she got to read a book again, she worked full time. HAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!! I am so naive! Every time we get into a schedule, where I think I can start doing stuff again, guess what? Someone decides to change the schedule without consulting me first. My reading has definitely suffered. I am currently reading a stack of books, but now they have names like Super Baby Food and What to expect the first year. I had been keeping up with my magazine reading because I could do that while I was breastfeeding. Then someone became curious about everything. And magazine pages make incredibly interesting noises. Needless to say, I just finished all my magazines from the month of March. However, as she gets bigger, she is happy if I just sit next to her while she plays. So there is hope. At least I hope there's hope. I have several crochet projects I want to finish/start. And really, that's about it for my goals of doing non-baby related stuff. The Navy Bean loves to be outdoors, so I'm sure we'll be spending at least one afternoon a week at the botanical gardens, but who knows how much bird watching I'll get done. This is not really where I expected my life to be. But I wouldn't change it for the world.

Worth every minute of my time.

Five months old

2009-04-11T08:15:00.003-05:00

My baby is five months old today. I can't believe how big she has gotten and how much stuff she has learned. I still look at her and wonder what in the world I could have done to deserve such an amazing gift. She fills me with joy and I love her so much more than I ever thought I could love. I can't imagine life without her.

She is becoming so aware of everything around her. If I get a drink, she wants some too. If someone is talking across the room, she has to figure out who it is, even if she's eating.

Yummy toes. They're as good as mommy said they were.

She has discovered her toes. She has also discovered her thumbs, which she often puts in her mouth at the same time. I think this has something to do with having Texas blood. You know, the double fisted bubba law. She now pats me on the cheek and hugs me. She loves being kissed all over. She has a beautiful laugh and often adds a cough to her laugh and cry, just for emphasis.

Look, I'm Santa Claus!

She has a great sense of humor. She loves to sing and dance and move around. She doesn't hate tummy time as much, because she rolls over now. She also pushes herself with her toes. This has me a little worried. Slow down, Navy Bean!

She is trying new foods, like avocado (which she's not sure if she likes). Wes made the mistake of holding a bread stick out to her the other day, and she grabbed it with a vengeance, ripping it in half. However, she still gets up at least twice a night. We're working on that though.

Navy Bean I love you so much. My life would be so boring and worthless without you!

Scarlet Letter

2009-04-05T11:44:00.004-05:00

A couple years ago, I found out that a former friend of mine, someone who I had hooked up with another friend, was a child molester. Specifically, he had molested my friend's daughter and niece. He and my friend divorced and he was convicted, but not given any jail time. Recently, he popped up on facebook. I knew that no one else knew what this man had done, and many of our mutual friends had children. I sent out a message to all of them, letting them know that he was a registered sex offender and even sent the URL so they could look it up. I was conflicted about this. My friend had told me she didn't want anyone else to know. However, these people had kids. And, I found out, he had contacted some of them and had forgotten to mention why he and my friend had gotten divorced. I had hoped he would have the decency to hide under a rock and stay there (although, I guess he had already proven he didn't have any decency). I hate being in this situation, but now, I know I can't ignore things like this. I have to protect my Navy Bean.

I'd rather spend my life with her than in jail for killing assholes.

Generations

2009-03-27T14:04:00.003-05:00

My parents and my grandma visited this week. My grandma lives in Minnesota and won't fly alone, so my mom flew to Minnesota, from Texas, and picked her up, and then flew here. I'm so glad she did though, because I realized, my grandma is starting to get old, and I don't know how much I'll be able to see her now that I have a baby. It was a great visit, but much too short.

Since we had company, we could actually get a picture with all three of us in it.

The Navy Bean (trying out for an e-trade commercial) and my parents.

All four generations. We will never get to five generations because to do so, the Navy Bean would have to have a child awfully young, and then I would kill her and it would still only be four generations.

Four Months

2009-03-22T14:08:00.003-05:00

My little Navy Bean is 4 months old.

(ok, she's a little older than that, but we had computer problems.)

She is such a joy to be around.

I think I've laughed more in the last 4 months than I did the previous 4 years.

Future mug shot.

Your little laugh is so infectious, even if I'm not sure what you're laughing at.

You smile all the time. You are so happy.

You fill me with joy.

But you are getting so big!

You can sit up by yourself for almost a full minute!

You love to practice standing up.

You cry when we lie you down:

big girls don't lie down!

Since you hate tummy time, I didn't expect you to roll over for awhile.

You rolled over, from your tummy to your back, on Monday.

You hand-eye coordination improves everyday.

You now take your binky out of your mouth,

examine it, and return it.

It amazes me how you learn so much, so quickly.

I just want to freeze you in time.

My favorite time is your only night feeding, when you are asleep.

You curl up against me and you are so calm and beautiful.

I can stroke your soft little head and your fluffy cheek.

When I burp you, you hold on to me,

your little cheek against mine.

You will always be my baby.

Get outside!

2009-03-09T09:09:00.002-05:00

The weather is beautiful. It was in the 70s on Sat. and yesterday it got up to 85 degrees. Absolutely beautiful. Wes and I took the Navy Bean to the park. Ok, she slept through the park. We just wanted to get outside and Wes owed me for such a crappy birthday. And, utter excitement, I identified a new bird! I haven't had many chances to go birding, so that was very exciting. It was just nice to get out of the house. Today is also beautiful, but I have a long list of stuff to do, so I'm just going to open all the windows and look out them a lot.

I'm feeling better and the Navy Bean never got sick! Go breastfeeding!!! This is Wes's last week of school and then he has two weeks off. Since I was sick last week, the house is kind of disgusting, so this week I will clean. Next week, Wes will do the stuff I couldn't. My parents and grandma are visiting the week after that. I'm very excited about that. Victor becomes a boyscout next week, so I'm thinking maybe we'll stay in Raleigh a couple of days and do some sightseeing. The only time I've ever been there was to visit the kids. And it is the capital, and I do love history. I don't know, we'll see.

Well, I should try to get some stuff done while the Navy Bean is sleeping. Like, unpack my summer clothes!

Hiccup

2009-03-03T12:55:00.004-05:00

This picture makes me laugh, and I really need to laugh today.

I have the hiccups. Which sucks, because I was going to take a nap, but you can't really do that with the hiccups. Anyway, I turned 35 on Sunday and the day absolutely sucked. Wes was really sick and Navy Bean refused to take a morning nap. Instead, she pretty much screamed all morning. Wes couldn't help because he was knocked out on cold medicine and I really don't want the baby sick anyway. And it was rainy and cold. To top it all off, I think Wes gave me his cold. I'm feeling pretty crappy myself today. I made myself chicken soup for lunch and I'm drinking lots of liquids. I'm trying not to touch Navy Bean's hands or kiss her too much, but that's about impossible. So far though, she seems to feel fine. Let's hope that sticks.

Do you know how nice our bank account looked when our tax return and Wes's paycheck hit it the same day? Too bad it's already gone. But, we have been responsible parents and set up 529's for Navy Bean and the other two kids. We figure we'll get enough to pay for 2 years of community college for the older two and hopefully enough to pay for four years for the Navy Bean (4 years at a state school). And I think we're going to start contributing to my IRA's on a monthly basis. Like a whopping $25 a month. Hey, anything is better than nothing and with the stock market on some serious clearance sales, now is the time to invest. We should have all of the x's credit card debt paid off by Sep. Then, we just have to start paying down my student loans. My car is more than 10 years old and has more than 100,000 miles on it, so we'll probably be buying a new car next winter. We're hoping car sales are still slumping then, so we can get a good deal. But this looks like it'll be a decent financial year for us. When Wes and I married, he had about $65,000.00 in credit card debt (yes, you read that right). And we will have managed to pay it all off in 3 1/2 years. What really sucks, that would have made a great down payment on a house. After a new car for me, that's the next big purchase, if the Navy keeps us here for more than 5 years. Well, the hiccups are gone. I'm going to take a nap.

Like a virgin

2009-02-24T12:15:00.002-05:00

Well, the weekend was weird. There really isn't any other way of putting it. And not just for me either. Wes freaked out a little bit too. That was kind of nice because it meant he wasn't just heading straight for the finish line. It meant we cuddled and I got a back rub and kissing and then we just looked at each other like, now what? I mean, it's been almost a year! And Wes remembers watching the last thing in my vagina pop out in all her bloody glory (sorry for that visual). But, we soldiered on and . . . it hurt. But we managed (and thank God it was only 2 minutes! Um, sorry Wes.). I'm sure it'll get better and sexier with time.

I've noticed that I've been a bit blue. Not post-partum blue or anything, just in a rut, blue. I haven't felt like I've been getting anything productive done and I know I'm a stay at home mom, so nobody expects me to get anything productive done, but still. I mean, (and please don't hate me Sandi and David), my daughter takes 2 three hour naps during the day, and sometimes a third nap, for only an hour. And she usually only gets up once at night. And she goes to bed at 9:00pm and usually gets up at 7:30am. I'm not hurting for sleep anymore and I have time to get stuff done. So, I came up with a plan. During her morning nap, I will get stuff done. I will exercise and shower and clean and whatever else I want to get done. During her afternoon nap, I usually also nap and then I can do whatever I want until she wakes up. So far, this plan has worked well (I started yesterday!). Except, how funny is this, I pumped this morning, to freeze some milk, and then she woke up after only 2 hours and wanted to eat. Less than an hour after I pumped. Thankfully these things produce on demand! But I am getting stuff done, even if it's just vacuuming the living room, or making a doctor's appointment. Small stuff, but it sure makes me feel better.

Functionality

2009-02-18T13:23:00.003-05:00

Due to the massive shredding that the Navy Bean did when she was born, Wes and I have not, um, been intimate since her birth. We were both fine with that at the beginning. He had to erase the visual of all that shredding and I had to heal. Only, I didn't heal right and the doctor didn't ok us to resume relations at my 6 week mark. I didn't end up having my lady bits cauterized, because I healed on my own, but they did do a minor procedure. They told me I should be ok to resume relations this Friday. Wes is counting down the minutes. Thankfully he is not here during the week, only the weekends, so it hasn't been quite as hard (HA!) to wait as it could have been. Me, however, that's a different story.

It's not that I don't want to have sex with my husband. It's just that having a baby has reminded that all the sexy parts, they also have functional purposes as well. The last thing I had in my vagina was the Navy Bean. If I dry my boobs off after a shower, they leak. Neither one of those things makes me think of, or desire, sex. And, after all that shredding, I am a little nervous too. So, I'm going to fake feeling like a sexual being again, and hope that my body is quickly reminded of how much fun sex can be. Maybe all it needs is a little reminder.

Three months

2009-02-11T09:01:00.003-05:00

My baby is three months old today. I can't believe how fast the time went and how big she has gotten. It's amazing how much of a personality a three month old can have! But she does have a huge personality, and it seems that most of it is mine.

Navy Bean, this morning.

She is a morning person, like myself. She wakes up talking, smiling, and just this week, laughing. She loves to play games, loves to talk and loves to be kissed all over. She is rarely cranky in the evenings anymore, although she still needs to be entertained.

I can hold it myself!

She can hold toys and dolls and I've seen her reposition the mirror on her play mat so she can see the baby better! She still isn't really fond of tummy time, but she likes to practice rolling over and sitting up. She LOVES to sing and dance. She hums at her mobile and you should see her little limbs go whenever she hears music. She is a joy and a wonderful companion (it doesn't hurt that she smiles every time she sees me).

I love to listen to her at night, as she grunts, roars and farts so loud that it would make a grown man blush. She makes so many cute little noises (and a few really gross ones)!

Not me! I'm a little lady.

My baby is growing up so fast. I just wish I could suspend time for a while. I can't wait to see who she'll be as she grows, but for now, I just want to cuddle with her.

Snow, sleet, rain, shine

2009-02-04T16:21:00.003-05:00

I wanted to post a picture, but I'm having technical difficulties. It's called, whenever I try to post a picture, my wireless router freezes up and I can't. If you want cute pictures, go to growingnavybean.blogspot.com

Anyway, today the Navy Bean and I decided we should go check the mail, since we hadn't since Saturday. Our mailbox is one of those communal ones, half-way down the street. So I loaded her up and we walked down there, only to discover . . . the mail box was gone. Completely gone. The little legs were still there, but laying on their sides. I think someone hit the mailbox with their car. Now I have to call the post office to find out 1) if they have it and 2) what do we do until they fix it. What a hassle!

Meanwhile, the Navy Bean is voicing her displeasure with the fact that I am trying to get her to take a nap in her crib. All her naps take place in her swing (yes, I am a bad mother), but I would like to get the afternoon ones in her crib. It's not working. Oh well.

Growing the family

2009-01-29T09:49:00.002-05:00

No, it's not what you think. But my family has grown since the beginning of the year. I know I've mentioned this before, but I have two sisters I have never met. The sperm donor who helped create me remarried and had two daughters. They are much younger than I (even younger than my sister in TX). I didn't think they would know about me. I mean, I really didn't think sperm donor would find me important enough to mention. I knew he and his wife had divorced a while back, and they had both remarried. I wanted to meet my sisters, but I really didn't want to have anything to do with him (he lives in MN, so my family up there knows him and hears about him occasionally). At the beginning of this year, on a whim, I did a facebook search for both of them. And found both of them. I sent them messages. And they were both very excited to hear from me. Turns out, they did know about me. But not from sperm donor. Their mom told them about me when they divorced, so they didn't know much more than that I existed. He is apparently a crappy dad to them as well, and doesn't have much contact with them, so they couldn't really ask him questions. We have been sending messages back and forth, getting to know each other. I'm very excited about this and we hope to meet sometime this year. I'm very happy and a little nervous. But I think this really is going to be a great year!

That's not really what I meant

2009-01-22T09:10:00.002-05:00

I have started a blog for Navy Bean. It's at growingnavybean.blogspot.com It's mostly for family members, since we don't live anywhere close to anyone. I'm writing it as if it's the Navy Bean writing it. Well, I kind of messed up. Under interests, I put, swinging, taking baths, playing, taking walks and talking. Only, I forgot that blogspot is usually for adults and my mom informed me that I might want to remove swinging from Navy Beans interests. That's not the kind of swinging she's interested in!

Resolutions and TMI

2009-01-19T10:44:00.003-05:00

So I'm a little late getting to my resolutions. Give me a break! It's still January and I just had a baby. I noticed that Camille is resolving to get in shape before her 35th birthday. That made me think, because my 35th birthday is 10 days before hers. I could lose all this weight before then, but I don't think I'd look very good. I'd rather get in shape and get toned, which might take a while longer. So I resolve to have a bangin' body by May. Now, my husband already thinks I look great but that might be because 1) his x still hasn't lost her baby weight (her weight fluctuates, but she's never lost that last 20 lbs) and 2) he's only had sex 3 times since April 7th of last year (more on that in a minute). And I resolve to make a friend this year. A friend who lives in my area. I have a ton of friends and thanks to facebook, more and more of my old friends are popping up. This is wonderful and I'm thankful for it, but, I don't have anyone I would really consider a friend here. And with a new baby and a husband in the navy, a close friend would be handy. Not to mention it would be nice to have someone to hang out with once in a while. This means I have to move out of my comfort zone though, and reach out to people. But I can do it! Those are my 2 resolutions. That's it. We're keeping it nice and simple.

Now, to the TMI part. My poor husband. First he goes on deployment for 6 months, then he comes back to a 9 month pregnant wife and then we've had a few complications. I may have mentioned that the birth was a bit rough and I ended up with a lot of stitches. A lot of stitches. Well, even though I could tell the stitches had dissolved, things just didn't feel, um, right, down there. At my check-up, the doctor confirmed this. I guess that although the stitches healed up, some cells that were supposed to be growing on the inside of the stitches decided to grow on the outside. The doctor said that's not that uncommon. Only she had never seen the amount I had before. They need to be removed. By cauterization. Yes, I will have my lady bits cauterized. Don't you wish you were me!!! But, that means my poor husband has to wait until that has healed up before, well, you know. I think Navy Bean will be our only child together.

What a week

2009-01-16T15:59:00.002-05:00

I survived the week without Wes. She actually slept pretty good the entire week. She had been having issues about going to bed, at night, and just crying until she was exhausted. The first night, she cried 45 minutes, last night, she cried 7 minutes. Of course, daddy is coming home tonight, and I doubt he'll want to turn out all the lights and turn off the TV at 9:00 to get her asleep. So we'll see what happens. And, I was sick this week. It was horrible, because I realized I don't have any frozen milk, so if I got too sick to take care of Navy Bean, someone would have to use formula. I'll start freezing milk next week. In addition to being sick, I couldn't get either of my prescriptions open. I used a hammer and smashed the bottles, which was very satisfying. This morning, my little princess was on her third outfit of the day before she had even been up an hour! And, she refused to take a nap this morning, even though she was obviously exhausted. She finally went to sleep after lunch, and I think I'm actually going to have to wake her up to feed her. Hopefully she will sleep tonight. So that's the update. Thankfully, Wes has a three day weekend, so at least next week without him will be short.

Time flies when you get no sleep

2009-01-12T15:37:00.004-05:00

My little Navy Bean is now 2 months old. I can't believe it. She has changed so much in such a short period of time. She has almost complete control over her head, unless she's really tired. She loves to stare at people and she recognizes me and probably Wes. She turns her head to see where noises are coming from. She can track things with her eyes. She loves to smile and coo and talk and she's starting to laugh. And boy, she can move those little arms and legs! I'm also afraid that her beautiful hair is starting to thin out. I hope that it grows back in the same color.

We had our 2 month check-up this morning. She now weighs 10 lbs and 12 oz. I thought the nurse said she was 23 3/4 inches long, but she wrote down 22 3/4 inches. Overall, they said she looked really good. She also got shots and instead of waiting for an hour at the pharmacy to get Children's Tylenol, since I had some at home, I left. Stupid me. The box says, for children under 2 years old, give as directed by doctor. So I have no idea how much I'm supposed to give her and feel like a horrible mother. Then I racked my brain trying to figure out who to call, you know, who might know. Like someone who just had a baby, or maybe even two? So, Sandi or David, how much Tylenol do I give a 10.12 lbs. baby? Although, it's been 4 hours since she got the shots, and she doesn't have a fever yet. She hasn't really woken up yet either though. I did wake her up to eat, so she is still alive.

You didn't tell me there would be shots!!!

The kids were here until last Friday. And then Wes left yesterday for the week. He'll be in school for 8 weeks, only coming home on the weekends. The house is a mess. I need to pay bills. I'm behind on my e-mails, blog readings, phone calls, errands, and all that other stuff. I'm expecting to stay behind. Although, it is wonderful to have a completely quiet house!

Little giggle

2009-01-05T14:51:00.004-05:00

This is how she felt after being in a house with 25 other people for 3 days straight!

Slightly drunkish looking baby, but with a smile!
She must have found the real eggnog!

Camille, with Navy Bean and her daughter.
Her poor daughter just wanted to squish and squish Navy Bean's cheeks!

Phoenix, holding the Navy Bean.

So, funny story about Phoenix and the Navy Bean. I'm breast feeding, so one day, while breast feeding discreetly, but not with a blanket over me, Phoenix walks up and asks what the Navy Bean is doing. I reply that she is eating. He looks at me funny, looks at her and then looks at me again. "What is she eating?" he asks. "Milk!" I reply. "From you?" "Yes." He looked at me strangely and then ran off. The next day, when I was feeding her again, he came up to me. "So, does she just suck on you and milk comes out?" "Yep." He seemed happy with that answer and ran off.

Anyway, I have a ton of pictures, but it seems a little late and a tad bit pointless to post them all. Besides, today the Navy Bean giggled. A real giggle. She's been doing these "ack" noises when she gets excited, but today, it was a giggle. It was so cute and just made me want to eat her up!

Starting the year out asleep

2008-12-31T16:38:00.002-05:00

I wanted to post pictures, but I haven't unpacked the camera yet. Let's just say that Christmas with 25 people is not relaxing, enjoyable or something I would want to do every year. Even every other year. Maybe every 5 years. I didn't get to talk to anyone for more than 3 minutes and Navy Bean was beyond stressed out.

The highlights of the trip were seeing Camille and meeting Sandi and David. Seeing Camille is always nice, and my entire family has been playing with the gift she got for Victor. Meeting Sandi and David (at Fighting Maturity) was great. I was very nervous, which meant I talked a whole lot. The babies are even cuter in person than in their pictures. Sandi and David are amazing and nice and real. I was going to take pictures, but someone (not me) was being a cranky pants. We were quite the spectacle in the restaurant, as we had three babies and one boy. I have to say, I was very impressed with Captain Stinky. He waited very patiently for his food, he didn't interupt the adults and he tried to get cranky pants in a good mood. And, when we left, he held the door open for me. My 11 year old step-son doesn't do that. Usually, he lets the door slam in my face (even when I have the baby) or he waits for me to open it for him (even when I have the baby). Overall, seeing them and Camille was probably the most I got to visit with anyone. Next year we're staying home.

Drive by excuse

2008-12-19T09:29:00.003-05:00

Busy packing. We're going to drive, with Navy Bean and Wes's two kids, to east Texas, then Oklahoma and then Dallas, to my parents' house. We're driving straight through. I know you wish you were me! Meanwhile, enjoy the sleeping baby.

Why the Navy and babies don't mix.

2008-12-12T08:59:00.003-05:00

Wes is finally getting off his current ship, after more than three years on it. Last night they had his Farewell party, which means that all the officers get together, drink, eat and tell stories on each other. It turns out, these hardened military men also love babies, so Navy Bean and I went along. It was nice to get out of the house and to hear all these great things about my husband, but I did notice something disturbing.

Hey, who bought Navy Bean a beer?

She's never going to wake up now!

Keep this man away from your daughters!

I hope everyone has a great, non-hectic weekend!

Navy Bean is 4 weeks old, and still cute!

2008-12-11T11:11:00.002-05:00

We have made it four whole weeks!!!! I am still alive, Navy Bean is still alive and we still love each other!!! I consider this a huge success. She is progressing very well for someone so small. First, she's already grown out of almost all her newborn clothes. I don't know who told her she could do that! I told her she had to stay my little girl forever, but apparently she is intent on getting big. I try to convince her that she is already "soooooo big" but it is not working. She is smiling more, her eyes actually follow the mobile (on occasion), she is "talking", and her neck skills are very impressive. Her spit up skills are also very impressive. One downside to breastfeeding, when she spits up, it runs down your belly. How fun is that!?!

Navy Bean getting her first bath where she sat in the water.

She really liked it.

Is there anything more pathetic, or cuter, than a pouting baby?

When I was little, my grandma used to tell me that a bird would

come and poop on my big pouty lips. Was anyone else

ever told this? Wes thinks it is weird.

Making funny faces at daddy.

She has started to fight sleep, which she must have gotten from Wes, because we all know I will sleep anywhere, anytime. Yesterday was our first trip to the park. The weather was warm, and she was fighting her nap, and thus, a car ride to the park was just the solution. She slept through the whole park, but I got outside and got some exercise.

On a slightly related note, my husband and I are dweebs. We discovered that we've been giving everyone the wrong anniversary date for us. See, we eloped, so it's not like there was a date on the calendar for a year before it happened. Neither one of us remembered the exact date, so I've been going by the expiration date on my military ID. We just realized my ID expires the day before we got married. So we've been celebrating the wrong date too. Whoops!

Someone called CPS on IQ and no, it was not me. I am a little ticked about it though, because I think it was the social worker that's supposed to have been helping IQ. She's been leaving hints with IQ that her house is a mess, but because IQ has the mental capacity of a middle schooler, she doesn't take hints. This lady should have sat IQ down, spelled it out for her, given her a list of things that needed to be done, and then helped her clean. Instead, she passed the buck. Now IQ is in the system and he husband was gone when it happened, so now the Navy also knows about it (they made him fly home) which really damages his career (although he could have gotten off his lazy ass and cleaned too). Anyway, CPS gave her a very long list of things that needed to be done and a week to do them. When they come back, they are going to sit down with her and give her a chore chart/calendar. I hope she realizes though, that this is not just a one time deal. They will continue to check on her and she will have to maintain her house, otherwise, they will take IQ Jr. And I don't want that. The stupid social worker was supposed to help prevent this, not cause it.

Random things

2008-12-05T09:48:00.003-05:00

So Beth tagged me to do 5 random things about myself (I think that's what it was), and since the baby really doesn't do much yet, I've been looking for something else to blog about. I'm supposed to link Beth, but I'm computer illiterate (it's amazing I can blog), so she's the link on the sidebar that says (wait for it), Beth. I've decided to go with a Christmas theme. So here we go, 5 random things about Christmas.

1. I won a classic i-pod at Wes's Christmas party last night. This is wonderful because the most technologically advanced music player I have is a CD player. This also means I will probably have to have my sister show me how to use the i-pod. I almost didn't go to the party too, so that was pretty darn lucky!

2. When I was three, we were really poor. Really, really poor. My mom stole construction paper from the school she taught at and made a Christmas tree on the wall.

3. We lived in Arizona at the time of #2, and my first memories of my dad are singing Chipmunk Christmas songs while riding his motorcycle (yes, at age 3). I remember the helmet being really, really heavy.

4. I think my best Christmas was 1985. That year, I got a 10 speed bicycle and my mom told everyone she was pregnant (that would have been my sister). I was super excited about both.

5. I think my worst Christmas was 1997. I knew my marriage was over, but my entire family had gone to Colorado for Christmas and they didn't want me to leave my husband while they were gone (because they weren't sure what he would do and they weren't there to help me). So I stayed with him until after Christmas. I refer to it as the Christmas that never was.

So there you go. And now I have to go check on the Navy Bean. I'm sure this Christmas will probably replace 1985 as my best.

Defying logic

2008-11-27T11:21:00.004-05:00

You always hear new parents talking about the indescribable love they feel for their babies. How they didn't really know what love was before they had a baby. How they would die for their baby. How everything in life changed and became more meaningful and real after they had a baby. And they sound so, weird. I mean, I knew having a baby did those things, I just didn't think it was as significant as they made it out to be. And then I had Navy Bean.

But, those feelings just don't make any sense at all. I mean, lets look at the facts. In phase 1 of Navy Bean's life, she made me fat, she kicked me, she kept me from having good sleep, I couldn't eat certain foods that I love (like certain cheeses) and because I was so wobbly, I couldn't bird watch the way I wanted. Nothing there that really elicits unconditional love.

Phase 2: she ripped me a new one, she shredded my nipples, she kept me from getting any sleep (so it felt), she cried for no reason, she pooped more than any person should poop, she peed on the couch, and just this morning, while getting her out of her bath, she pooped on me.

Phase 3: we really don't know yet. I mean, genetically, she should be intelligent, but also strong willed and stubborn. And we really don't know how she'll turn out. She may be horrible. She may never amount to anything. She may save the world. We just don't know.

Yet, I melt when I see her. I'm filled with absolute joy when she smiles at me (it's not gas!). I feel unconditional, undying love when I stroke her little head. I love holding her, even when she's crying (for a while). She has become my life and I can't imagine it without her.

And it dawned on me. That's kind of how God loves us. We don't deserve his love, yet it's there. He even knows whether or not we'll reject him, and yet, he loves us. How awesome is that!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

This is how she got here

2008-11-19T12:19:00.003-05:00

I suppose I should record the story of Navy Bean's birth. Well, the day of the 10th I decided that maybe working in the garden would help jump start labor. I think it may have worked because I was in inactive labor the rest of the day. I didn't tell Wes though, because I really didn't want him to freak out about it. And, the contractions weren't getting worse, or closer together. At bedtime, I had just about given up hope that it would happen. And then I noticed that I was feeling a little wet down there, and I had just gone to the bathroom. I smacked Wes and told him to get me a towel, my water had broken. I managed to get to the bathroom without getting anything anywhere and Wes thought I was just "leaking". Except, I went to take a shower and leaked everywhere and I wouldn't stop. This was about 11:35pm. So, we finished packing stuff up, I ate a bowl of cereal and called my mom and Camille and we head to the hospital. By the time we got there, it was about 12:30am.

We head up to labor and delivery and they stuck me in a room and came in twice to see if my water had actually broke. This, despite the fact that I was going through pads like crazy because I was clearly leaking. Finally, they hooked me up to a monitor to make sure the baby was ok (she was), and to see if I was having contractions. I was, but they were erratic and not that painful. Finally, at about 1:30 to 2:00 they moved me to a delivery room. Because my water had broke, they had to induce labor and so started the pitocin. I was only dilated to maybe a 2 at this point. The contractions started coming regularly at this point. Now, I had wanted to have a very active labor, walking around, squatting, that sort of thing. However, if you know anything about me, you know I love to sleep and at this point, I was beyond exhausted. I tried to sleep between contractions (they were still several minutes apart) but just couldn't do it and I was too tired to do anything. I was really afraid that I would be too tired to push when we finally got to that point. Finally, at about 5:00 I decided to get some narcotics, I was also dilated to about a 3. I don't know what they gave me, but they allowed me to sleep, but they didn't do anything to reduce the pain.

Now, the narcotics. They made me hallucinate. I was very upset that the hospital was allowing Dennis the menace to run around because this was not something a kid should see. And then, I was upset because the Russian guy who was supposed to bring me the giant purple mushrooms with white spots, the mushrooms that would make the pain go away, lied to me. The mushrooms did not make the pain go away, they made it worse. And I was upset that the narcotics made the contractions farther apart and I told Wes that. They had to be at least 10 minutes apart, because of the sleep and the hallucinations. Wes looked at me and said "baby, they're 1 minute apart, that's it." So I guess the drugs worked.

At around 7:30am I felt like I needed to push, but the nurse said I would probably only be dilated to 4 or 5. Finally, Wes made her get a doctor to check me. I was dilated to 9. Go drugs!!! And the pushing began soon afterwards. The pushing actually hurt less than the contractions and I felt like I was accomplishing something. The nurse finally said she could see the baby's head and she had a full head of dark hair. I'm pretty sure I told the nurse that wasn't our baby because our baby wouldn't have any hair. I might have even asked her if she was looking at the right vagina. I'll spare you the bloody and disgusting and painful last minutes of labor (including getting my giant placenta out, which ripped out half the stitches they had already done. What idiot decided to do it in that order?). She was born at 9:43 am, weighing in at 7 lbs, 10 oz. and 21 1/2 inches long. She is a very long baby. And she is very beautiful. Which is good, because she's been kind of cranky and can't figure out her days and nights. I'm a little tired.

But, she was totally worth it. Here's some silly pictures of her making faces.

Working on a yawn.

Such munchable cheeks!

I think we're going to keep her. I've become rather attached.

And, as Beth noticed, I'm not giving out her name. You can e-mail me if you would like it.

Wow!!!!

2008-11-14T16:59:00.002-05:00

The little Navy Bean made her debut on Nov. 11, 2008 at 9:43am. It was brutal but could have been worse. I'll write more about that later, now, I'm just going to post a few pictures and then probably try to feed her again. She is beautiful and I'm very happy. We are both home and healthy (she's not always happy, which makes me unhappy, but we're good).

Look at those long munchable toes!

We have no idea where all that dark hair came from!

Isn't she just beautiful. Her cheeks are so huge!

She's perfect and I'm happy!

On the way

2008-11-11T00:21:00.001-05:00

I interupt the regularly scheduled program to bring you this update: my water has broke and I am on my way to the hospital!!!! Hopefully it will be short and sweet (but I'm not even really having contractions yet). Update as soon as possible!

Forty weeks (and counting)

2008-11-08T13:50:00.004-05:00

Guess who's due to have a baby today? ME!!!!! Am I having a baby today? Probably not!!!

Look at the size of that thing!!!!

Yesterday, someone asked if I was having twins!

I've tried everything: walking, swimming, cleaning, dancing, talking to her, threatening her, nothing seems to work. She is warm and comfy (I am not comfy!!!! But I am warm, actually, pretty hot all the time). Due to when my husband has to return to work and when my parents will be here, if we haven't had her by next Wed., we will discuss induction with the doctor. So we do know it will be within a week. Which excites me and scares me. But mostly excites me.

I received a wonderful box from Sandi and David this week (Fighting Maturity). It was filled with tiny little cute clothes. When faced with baby clothes I always have the same reaction: I can't believe my baby will be that small!!! Then, I can't believe I have to push something that big out of my body!!! But we didn't have any newborn clothes items, so they were needed. (Although I think someone, maybe a grandma or a daddy went a little crazy with the shopping when they discovered they were having twin girls!) Wes and I are still trying to figure out how we went from having no baby clothes only three weeks ago, to our unborn baby having more clothes than both of us combined! Although, I guess the majority of those clothes are onesies. I want everyone to take a moment, close your eyes and imagine all the people in the entire world wearing onesies. This is definitely worth one little moment! (I keep picturing Barbie in a onesie!)

The rest of today will be spent cleaning and having Mexican food. And hopefully I'll have baby pictures to post soon!

Over-heard at the gym

2008-11-07T14:38:00.002-05:00

While changing at the gym the other day, I over-heard two mid-life women talking.

"I drank soy milk and ate soy products for years, not knowing."
"Yeah, my doctor told me that they could cause osteoporosis because of all the estrogen."
"I know. I used to give it to my kids too, including my son. No wonder there are so many gays! I bet their moms didn't even know about all the estrogen in soy milk."

There's not even anything you can say to that!

We can do it, we did it, we will do it!

2008-11-05T10:26:00.002-05:00

I can't let the election pass without saying a few words. Before I was a mommy to be, I was a historian, one who studied totalitarian governments. Therefore I know how important voting is. It is a privilege and a right, one that too many people take for granted, thinking their vote won't make the difference anyway. You know what, it may not make a difference, but if enough people see it that way than it won't make a difference and it will be taken away from us.

John McCain is a brave, honorable man and I respect him and his service to our country. He has endured things that no one should have to go through. However, I did not think this made him the best choice to lead our country. And even if I had supported him, once he picked Palin, I would have changed my vote. I thought his concession speech was gracious and I hope he continues to try to encourage Republicans to respect and hear out our new President.

Barack Obama is a historical figure. I am very proud that I will be able to tell my daughter that the year she was born, mommy, daddy and the United States made history. I am thankful that Obama's acceptance speech was not about mandates from the people to disregard Republicans, but rather how it is time for the country to unite. That we are all Americans and that he will be the President of all of us, regardless of whom we voted for. That is the message we need and I hope that we all continue to work towards that goal.

Obama has a very rough four (hopefully 8) years ahead of him though. However, I think that even if all he accomplishes is to improve the reputation of the United States with the rest of the world, and he is able to mend relationships and open new lines of communication with countries we have disregarded for so long, then he will have been a successful President.

I encourage everyone to keep the fervor of the election alive and to remember that we are all in this together. We are united and will remain united. That we made history and we can do it again. That we need to pray for our government, regardless of if we agree with them or not. And we need to remember how blessed we are, because at least we get a voice.

I have a nursery

2008-11-03T08:22:00.003-05:00

I know I've been promising to post pictures, but I finally got around to it. It seems like everything takes twice as long these days, and I have a feeling that by having this baby (like I have a choice now), everything will take even longer.

Pack n' play, in our room. I paid less than half of its retail cost on Craig's list!

My aunt made this. It is amazing!

And here's the nursery! All those baskets on the bookshelf, another Craig's list deal.

I'm starting to wonder, is the rest of my life going to be me wishing I could do something (sometimes, anything) but can't because I've decided to have a baby? I mean, I want to have a baby and I want to be a mom, but I know being a parent is not exactly conducive to having one's own personal life. When will I be able to sleep through a whole night again? When will I be able to read a whole book in one afternoon? Can I still crochet and sew? And I'm very upset that I missed the whole fall migration season.

I know that how we raise the child will play a large role in what we're able to do. If I read to her everyday (and I do occasionally read to her now), hopefully she will love reading and we can spend time together reading. If we spend a lot of time outside, she may better appreciate birds and nature and then that becomes family time. If I crochet and sew, she becomes interested in crafts. That's the theory anyway. But what if I have a difficult child. They happen, often through no fault of the parent. I don't mind if the Navy Bean is interested in other stuff, as long as she engages in life. I don't expect life to stay the same. I expect it to get more challenging, more interesting and more meaningful. I expect to grow as a person. I expect my world to become so much larger than I ever thought it could. I just wonder if I'm up to the challenge, because now, it's not just my life I could potentially waste, it's hers too.

This is starting to get old

2008-10-31T07:12:00.003-05:00

So I'm still pregnant. And I'm huge. Really huge. And I can't figure out why because there is only one of them in there. One! (Although I had a dream it ended up being twins, but after 5 (FIVE) ultrasounds, if it ended up being twins, I think I would sue someone.) Anyway, we decided I should get some "classy" pictures. To remember how freaking huge I am. Fun times.

Dancing the day away!

Pay no attention to the badonkadonk. It's keeping me balanced!

This looks all serious, but I'm telling her that she has 2 weeks until I'm evicting her.

The bags are packed, the birth plans copied, the phone list on top of the bag. The baby clothes/blankets/sheets are washed. The nursery done (pictures at a later date). The car seat checked out by three firefighters. Every single time I call my mom she answer with "did you have a baby?" Like I wouldn't call her on the way to the hospital. The little Navy Bean still hasn't dropped, but I've had other (gross) signs that labor will be soon (I'll spare you). The 6th of Nov. would be the perfect day, from Wes's job's stand-point, but we don't really have too much control. Now we just wait and I dream of sleeping on my stomach again and munching on little toes.

This is easy enough

2008-10-26T11:35:00.003-05:00

Beth tagged me for a meme and I think it's a great idea because my brain is fried and really, how much more bitching about how pregnant I am do you really want to hear?

5 Things I was doing 10 years ago:
Working on my MA in Modern European History at SMU
Working as a bill collector for a cable/telephone company
Getting a divorce
Geez, 10 years was a long time ago, how am I supposed to remember?
I think I moved (I'm pretty sure I did)
Pretty much changed my whole life (see above divorce, and MA)

5 Things on my to do list today:
water plants
write thank you notes for baby gifts
pack hospital bag
unpack my winter clothes, even though I doubt I'll be able to wear any of them this year
clean my gross kitchen

5 snacks I like:
apples with cheddar cheese
raw veggies
candy, especially Sour Patch kids and snickers
cheez-its
cheese

5 Things I would do if I were a millionaire:
pay off all our debt, including student loans
give 10% to my church
travel everywhere
give money to my family and Camille
buy a house

5 places I have lived:
Marshall, Minnesota (total of 5 years)
Las Vegas, Nevada (total of 7 years)
Dallas area, Texas (14 years)
Madison, Wisconsin (5 years)
Virginia Beach, Virginia (2 1/2 years, so far)

5 Jobs I have had:
Phone ho at Pizza Hut
Janitor at Peterbuilt truck company (this was a cool job, as I worked at the factory where they developed new trucks)
Bill collector for a cable/phone company
Clerk at the Wisconsin Historical Museum
TA at the University of Wisconsin

I am supposed to tag 5 other people, but I'm too tired to figure out who, so now I'm going to go take a nap.

It's not what you think

2008-10-23T07:18:00.003-05:00

I have not had the baby. I know it would be easy to think that, since I've been gone for a week, but I've just been busy. And really tired. We didn't go to the wedding, but our friends did stay with us, and we had a great visit. I had my baby shower on Sunday, which went very well and we got a ton of great stuff. Monday and Tuesday we went out and spent a TON of money on all the other baby stuff we hadn't gotten, but thought we might need (we still spent less money than IQ did on her crib alone!). So we got things like a crib mattress, sheets for the crib, sheets for the pack n' play, sheets for the Moses basket, a few more receiving blankets, onesies (because I didn't get ANY at my shower!), a baby carrier. Stuff like that! All that shopping left me tired! But then I had to WASH all the stuff we bought. Meanwhile, my husband set up the pack n' play in the bedroom (we're using the bassinet for the first couple of months. The moses basket is going downstairs). So the baby has a place to sleep! Actually, two places!!! And the crib has been ordered. And the baby's room is starting to look empty. Which is good, because last week it had a ton of boxes, a huge computer desk, a filing cabinet, two computers, and a bunch of other crap in it. That's all been moved out and I think by the end of today, it will be set up (minus the crib, so it'll look a little funny). I'll post a picture soon!

Today, I need to do some clothes shopping. Yes, I know, it is a strange time to do that, only 2 1/2 weeks before the baby is due, but the weather has changed and ALL my maternity clothes are summer clothes. And we're going to Texas for Christmas, and I doubt I'll be in my regular clothes by then. I'm just going to go to Goodwill to pick up one other pair of pants, and maybe a couple of large shirts. After the baby and before Christmas, I'll go back to Goodwill for a few larger non-maternity pieces. We also put the baby seat in the car (my husband did that without cutting all the tags off of it) and we'll take it to a fire station today to make sure he did it correctly. And I'll also try to get to the many thank you notes I need to get sent out. I also haven't packed my hospital bag yet, but that's partly due to a lack of clothing to pack in it.

I am feeling good about stuff, but also want to get all the stuff on my to do list marked off. What I really want to do though, is sit down and crochet or read a good book. I miss reading! Since almost everything is done, I hope I can manage to read something non-baby related before the baby is born. As long as it's short. And while I love my magazines, since I voted on Tuesday, I don't really need to read any more political crap. I wonder if I have time to read The Brothers Karamazov again (ok, that's a joke. The book has about 1,000 pages. Although, I really would like to read it again soon). But I guess I should get started on my to do list. I think it'll be done by the end of the week, and then I can just relax until the baby gets here!

One last thing, I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and now the doctor is saying the baby is probably not going to be as big as she originally thought!!!! YAY!!!!!

We're not going.

2008-10-16T14:39:00.003-05:00

Well, the doctor strongly suggested we not go to the wedding. Her concern was that the baby might be too uncomfortable, especially since her head is sitting on the edge of my pelvic bone (which would explain yesterday's pain) and not engaged, that she might actually flip and go breech (who knew). So, we decided to stay put. I haven't had contractions today, but we only have 3 weeks 2 days to the due date, and like she said, this stuff can happen fast. The good news is that some of our friends who flew out for the wedding are staying with us, so at least we get to visit with them.

We ordered the crib today. I'm not sure how long it'll take to get here, not that it matters because we still don't have any place to put it, but at least it's ordered (it's apparently very popular because ever single place we've looked has been sold out for the past month). And I got a couple of different packages today, so we're starting to feel like we're a little more prepared (ok, for a couple of minutes, and then panic sets in again). Overall, things are going well, and I'm waddling right along.

Just try to roll over

2008-10-15T13:35:00.003-05:00

The house is quiet and empty. The kids and Wes's dad left yesterday. The house is a mess. He was supposed to have today off, but unfortunately, one of the other officers had a death in the family, so Wes is working for him. We were going to clean the house today, because tomorrow, we're having company! So I've been trying to clean, but um, I'm having these pesky contractions. And I've been having them off and on for a week. And they're starting to hurt and they don't go away quite as quickly as they did before. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, and Wes wants me to ask about them, but there's only one problem. We're having company because some friends of ours are getting married on Friday. But they're getting married in North Carolina, an hour and a half away. I would like to go (not at the risk of Navy Bean, of course), but I know if we ask about the contractions, that'll probably be a no (Wes doesn't understand why, which kind of confuses me). So I'll take it easy today, and hopefully they'll go away on their own. I'm sure I'll let you know either way.

They had a crane!!!!

2008-10-08T07:00:00.003-05:00

But they took the crane away before I could use it! I did manage to get on the ship though. Wes was very happy to see me, and I him. Since I don't have 10,000 words, I have a picture.

Don't they have a crane?

2008-10-07T07:21:00.003-05:00

Wes gets home today!!!! I am so very excited. I'll leave here in about an hour and we'll watch the ship come in (literally) and then Allison will climb aboard, and then I'll wait for the giant crane. I asked Wes how they will get me aboard. I mean, I am really big and round and have no balance or coordination. He said I could climb up the ramp. Not unless someone is pushing me (and have blocked off the ramp, it's hard getting up and down it when other people are on it and you're not 8 1/2 months pregnant). In his defense, I haven't sent him a picture in a month! And yes, I do have to go aboard, unless I want to sit on the pier for a couple of hours while he finishes everything up. Fun times!!!!

I feel bad for Allison. She has been stuck here with just me since Friday morning. Not that there is anything wrong with me, but um, I'm not used to having an 8 year old kid around. I'm not used to having anyone around. And I love playing board games, but can really only sit on those dining room chairs for an hour before my entire body screams in pain. And getting on the floor to play, hahahahahahahahaahaha!!!!! I've been trying to break the day into smaller parts, doing stuff, like shopping, or making cookies (which she's never done before), but I can tell the poor child is bored to death. She's not used to playing alone (she has one brother and two step-brothers) and she's not a reader (at her age, I would read for hours by myself. Matter of fact, for my seventh birthday, I spent my birthday money on the Little House on the Prairie set). So I'm glad the guys will be back today.

Well, I have a few things I need to finish up and I should probably shower. I hope everyone has as great a day as I know I will have!

Utter nonsense

2008-10-02T13:43:00.002-05:00

Well, the rental car thing is done. Not exactly what we were looking for, but at least we have one reserved. I don't have to worry about it anymore. YAY!!!

The doctor (my regular doctor, who I saw yesterday) says my baby is going to be fat!!! My baby is not going to be fat! She is going to be squishy and edible and have huge chipmunk cheeks!

Which leaves us with the continuing saga of the Heroscape game! Let's see, where were we. Oh yes, no one at Hasbro knew what was going on. Tuesday afternoon another person called me (not the same person as any of the other times). He informs me the game has already been shipped so they cannot send it priority mail, but since I live in Virginia, and this game is being shipped from the Virginia distribution center, it should be here quicker than the 8 to 10 business days. Can you guarantee that? Um, no, but there's a pretty good chance that it will happen. Really, well, can you tell me what happened to the other game then? Um, no. Ok then. This is what I am going to do. I am going to order another game off of Amazon and I will send your game back and I expect a full refund. Ok, you can do that. Thank you and good-bye.

So I ordered the game off of Amazon. Their standard shipping is only 3 to 5 business days, and I actually paid less than buying direct. Their game shipped the very next morning (not the 2 to 3 days later that Hasbro did). Then today, the doorbell rang, and it was a Heroscape game. From Hasboro. I think it was the first game, since I got it only two days after it shipped, and it said it came from Pennsylvania. We may end up with 3 games. Does anyone need a Heroscape Master set?

I didn't need my head in one piece anyway!

2008-09-30T07:41:00.004-05:00

It's been one of those weeks, and it's only 8:45 Tuesday morning. I can't wait to see what the rest of the week brings me.

Wes's dad and kids are coming down on Friday because Wes gets back next week. Wes's dad and Victor are going to drive down to Florida, meet Wes's ship and ride back on it. It's called a Tiger cruise (Allison is too young and Wes's ship is small, so there is no female berthing). Originally, the ship was going to rent a bus for all the people going down to Florida. Well, that got cancelled, so now we're stuck trying to find a rental car. Wes wanted me to go with a particular company because they have a location on base in Florida, so then a taxi wouldn't be needed. Turns out that company doesn't do one-way rentals, only local. Fine, whatever, I'll find another company. Then Wes wanted to find the closest location to the base for the car drop off. The closest is not the airport, however, all non-airport locations close 4:00pm and unless they leave at 5:00am at the latest, they won't make it. (And I happen to know there is construction in at least 2 of the states they have to drive through.) So I just shot Wes an e-mail and I'll call his dad today to find out what they want to do. In addition, the economy car we're renting, the cheapest one I could find, is $122 for one day. We were planning on renting a mini-van for Christmas, but now I'm starting to wonder if we can afford it.

I had another ultra-sound yesterday. I will never understand this, but every time I have one, the nurse wipes my belly clean after she looks, and then goes and gets the doctor, who wants to have a look himself, so they have to goop my belly up all over again. It's still a girl!!!! And she is using my bladder as a pillow. She weighs approximately 5.7lbs. I told her she could gain 2 more lbs and that was it! Then the doctor decides he wants to do a vaginal ultrasound to make sure there aren't any blood vessels from my extra placenta over my cervix. Good times! (My ultra-conservative mom had never heard of a vaginal ultrasound so I explained it. "They take this dildo, put a condom on it and lube it up and stick it up there to get a picture." My mom: "I bet Wes was jealous when he heard that!") So the doctor's appointment wasn't bad. She's healthy, so that's all good.

But then I came home and started the saga of the missing birthday present. As you may recall, Victor has not taken his parents' divorce very well, and his mom lying about stuff hasn't helped. And he really isn't happy about the new baby (who knows what she's said about that). His birthday is in Oct. and he loves Heroscape by Hasbro. So, on Sep. 8th, 2008, I ordered the Heroscape Master set (the original) off of the Hasbro official web-site. I received an e-mail confirming the order. I paid for standard shipping, which is 8 to 10 days. I received an e-mail on Sep. 10th telling me it had shipped. Well, I realized last week that I still had not received it. I called Hasbro on Friday, Sep. 26th to ask about my order (yes, I have my order #, and at that point, it had been 13 business days since it had shipped). I talked to some guy who looked at my account and basically said, "I have no idea what this means, can I have a supervisor call you back?" Um, well, how often does a person actually try to pass you off on the supervisor? So, yes, please, have them call me back. He said I would probably receive the call on Monday. Ok, fine.

Yesterday, I get home from my doctor's appointment and I have a message from Hasbro. I call back and get a regular person. Well, it looks like something happened to your order and we're going to have to re-send it today. Ok, you're sending it priority right? No, you paid for standard. Yes, I did pay for standard, over 3 weeks ago. Let me speak to your supervisor.

Floor supervisor. Well, it looks like the game was sent back to us. From who and why? I don't know. But our web-site says that in cases like that, it can take up to 21 business days. No, the web-site says 8 to 10 business days. Yes, it does say 8 to 10 business days, unless it's sent back. I didn't send it back. You use Fed-ex, can't you call them and find out where the game is. No, we can't, but I can give that number to you. The game was re-shipped on Friday the 26th (notice the first guy told me it was going to be re-shipped, but hadn't yet). She gives me the Fed-ex tracking number and then tries to get me off the phone. Ok then, if you need anything else after talking to Fed-ex, call us back. Oh, I'm not hanging up. I go to the Fed-ex site and plug in the number, they don't have that number in their system. Do you really think this is good customer service, I ask her? Well, there is a chance that the first package might still be delivered to you. Wait, now I'm really confused, you just told me it had been returned. Now you're telling me that you don't actually know where it is? Let me speak to your supervisor.

I get Brian. He is very nice and polite and obviously doesn't have his head stuck up his ass like some other people who think I'm stupid. I explain the situation to him, including that my husband's been deployed and it's his son's birthday, yadda, yadda, yadda. But I also point out that since this is clearly an error on their part, it would be good customer service to expedite the shipping of the game. Also, since they obviously have my e-mail address, when were they going to let me know what was going on? He is very nice and asks if he can do some research and call me back. I had to pee by this point, so I say yes, not expecting to hear from him again.

He called back in less than a half hour! He didn't know anything. He said they have 9 distribution centers, so he would try to find out where it was going out from and call them to have them send it priority. He also said he would try to find out what happened to the first game, as it might be quicker to get that one to me. He said he would call me back today to let me know what he had found out. I asked him if the call center worked for Hasbro directly, or if they were out-sourced (and not out of country: they were clearly in this country). They are indeed outsourced.

Ok, I get an e-mail this morning telling me my game has shipped. Let's see if Brian calls me back and what happens. As it stands, if they send it standard again, we probably wouldn't get it until 2 days before the kids leave. Wes wants me to contact Hasbro directly if this is not resolved. However, I think I will probably have to order another game from Amazon.com instead, pay extra for the speedy delivery and then deal with Hasbro, trying to get them to reimburse us for all this mess.

Wes had one last thing to say about it: don't stress out about this. It'll be ok. But make sure the game gets there in time.

*****Update*****
I just received a call from Brian's supervisor, named Ramey(?). First, if you're going to call a customer, read all the notes before you get on the phone with them. Second, once on the phone, don't ask the customer if they have been contacted yet about the situation (see above about reading the notes). Third, why are you calling me just to tell me that Brian still doesn't know what's going on, but will contact me later? I'll just wait for his call, thank you.

Well, what do you know?

2008-09-27T08:18:00.003-05:00

I got a phone call from IQ on Thursday. She began, "it has nothing to do with what you said, but I cleaned the house, because my m-i-l is coming, not because of what you said." First, who knows how clean it really is, but I'll take what I can get. Second, I don't care why you cleaned it, I'm just happy you did. I think I'm going to have Wes talk to Mr. IQ about his fathering skills. Mr. IQ refuses to play WOW with one hand, and thus, ignores the baby if he is playing WOW. He has never even given the baby a bath (the baby is 5 months old!). Wes is horrified. Although you would have never guessed from Wes's high school actions (ok, I guess he was technically practicing to make lots of babies), Wes is a great dad. He is excited to be a dad. The thought of dirty diapers doesn't phase him. Crying baby. Not a problem. Stressed out wife. We'll get through this. When I point out all the stuff he needs to do when he gets home to get the nursery ready, he's excited because he feels left out. He's the type of dad who does stuff because he wants to, not because it's his responsibility as a dad. I really couldn't ask for a better husband.

Baby stuff is starting to trickle in!!! I know I promised pictures of the stuff I already had, and I will get to that (just not now). But this week, Camille got me a beautiful Moses basket (so now the baby has a place to sleep), the cutest receiving blankets ever, a bouncer (which I'm going to wait to put together when Wes is here), a mirror for the car and the health kit thing from Red Cross. And my Sunday School class is also going to give me a baby shower, which I think is super nice. I also decided I should probably order diapers within the next week. Does anyone know anything about cloth diapers? I've found some, but now the prospect of washing them at home (there's no diaper service in this area) is starting to freak me out. I just want to do what's best for the baby and the environment.

According to the calendar, I have 6 weeks left. It is going to fly by (at least the next 4 weeks, since next week I have 2 doctor's appointments, the week after that Wes comes home, his kids and dad will be with us for a week, then we have a doctor's appointment, a wedding and the baby shower and the week after that the birthing class). At the same time, I really can't believe how uncomfortable I am. I can only stay in one position for about 15 minutes before I have to move. How do working women do it??? How do women in third world countries, who sleep on the ground do it??? How do women carrying more than one baby do it??? (Kudos to you Sandi!) I feel like I'm constantly playing musical chairs. But I will miss the baby movements. Those are kind of cool. And she's had the hiccups every day for the last 5 days (a couple of days, twice). And right now I'm chasing a foot around my tummy. I can't wait to eat that foot!

Mother of the year

2008-09-23T13:30:00.003-05:00

I've mentioned before that IQ is a WOW player (world of warcraft). Well, one day, a while back, she was commenting on how her sister is not a good mom because all she does is try to meet guys on the computer, ignoring her two children. IQ stated she understood that IQ Jr. comes first, and that's why when he's fussy, she'll take care of him, even though it's difficult to play WOW with one hand!

I don't play WOW and never have, but IQ and her husband have made me HATE WOW. Now, Mr. IQ is not learning diabilitied (IQ explanation for why she is how she is), but actually has a college degree, in engineering. But, when he comes home from work, he plays WOW and when he plays WOW he ignores IQ Jr., leaving IQ to play WOW with only one hand. This is an area of contention for them. But the point is, he should know better. About everything. Like the state of their apartment. His mom is coming into town this week, and IQ kept saying she should clean the house. I was there today. First, I can't believe she wouldn't let ANYONE into her house, with it looking like that. Second, I can't believe he would let his mom into the house, with it looking like that. Third, I can't believe they live in a house that looks like that.

I told her that once IQ Jr. is mobile (and he's getting there) and CPS were called, he would be removed from the home. I saw on the floor, in addition to just plain out trash, a Swiss army knife, a bottle opener, a cork from a wine bottle, 5 pens and pencils, a bag of chips, cat food, cat feces, and clumps of cat hair. And that's just what I could see. IQ was very upset that I had said that (remember, she grew up in foster care and claimed she would do EVERYTHING possible to keep IQ Jr.) and claimed she was "doing the best I can. But it's hard for me to take care of IQ Jr. and do ANYTHING." See, that's the problem. Not that she isn't capable but that when it comes to doing anything BESIDES WOW, she just can't do it with IQ Jr. around. She can't clean because of IQ Jr. She can't study for her driver's licence because of IQ Jr. She can't eat properly because of IQ Jr. She can't exercise because of IQ Jr. But she can spend at least 8 hours a day playing WOW. And Mr. IQ lets her get away with that. Well, that's fine and dandy, but I would rather get a frantic phone call from IQ screaming at me because CPS is taking away IQ Jr (which would get Mr. IQ kicked out of the navy), than a frantic phone call from IQ because IQ Jr. is choking to death on something.

But I'm glad she's willing to play WOW with only one hand because that makes her the freaking mother of the year.

She couldn't afford a clue

2008-09-20T15:27:00.002-05:00

I was talking to IQ on the phone the other day, and mentioned that Wes will be home soon. She hadn't realized he would be home that soon and said that she bet he was really excited to be getting home. Oh yes, he is excited. She continued, "I bet I know someone who he will be the most excited about seeing, someone he probably can't wait to see. . . .IQ Jr.!!!!"

Yes, yes you are right. He has an extremely pregnant wife, two kids and a dad, but he doesn't care about any of that. He just wants to see your kid and bask in the miracle that you haven't managed to kill him yet.

I think it has more than two

2008-09-17T14:19:00.002-05:00

So the title refers to the baby's feet, knees, legs, arms, hands and elbows. She either has more than two of each, or she has learned how to move ALL of them at the same time. She has also decided my large and round stomach is not big enough and she has taken up residence in my lungs. Now, I don't know about you, but I used to use my lungs to breathe. Not having use of them anymore makes it very difficult to travel up and down the stairs at my house. Even though I am not ready for her yet, I am sure starting to get there, if only so I can breathe again.

I had a great time with my parents. We were able to go to the beach, where mom convinced dad to rent one of those bicycle things. I actually sat in between them, so I didn't have to pedal. They then proceeded to moan and groan about the extra 150 extra lbs they had to move around. Hey, I offered to pedal and maybe we shouldn't have gone to the Pizza Hut buffet for lunch right before we rented the bike! It was fun, even though my dad sweat on me the whole time.

This is so much easier without Stacia and that big belly of hers!

But it wasn't all fun and games. No, I put them to work too. Remember what my garage used to look like. Yeah, I try to block it out too. But the office/nursery needs to be moved into the garage and so my parents kindly helped me organize the garage so the move would be easier. Ok, I pointed, they organized. And here is the result!

Wow! I think I see the garage floor!

And of course, mom took me shopping. I really had to convince her that I still had 8 weeks until my due date so it wasn't necessary for her to buy me everything on my registry just yet. There is still time! Now, when they come back in Nov. and I still don't have stuff, then they can get it for us! But we did buy these cute little outfits and she did buy me a couple of nursing bras (not pictured, because they're really not that exciting without the boobs in them).

In addition to frog feet, it also has a giant frog on the butt!

I love cute little frogs!

Overall, I had a great weekend with my parents and my mom suggested that I keep a list of what I have so I don't panic all the time. At least until I pull out the list and realize how much stuff I still need. So I'm going to do a spreadsheet! Because I'm dorky like that and have the time and it doesn't require too much breathing.

And, I also received a great gift from Tanya (tbooty). I loved the fact that she put it into a gift bag to mail it! This little outfit is too cute! I love the little pants (or whatever those things are called).

Are the little booties home-made? They're so cute!

Sandi, (fighting maturity) also sent me a Target gift card and I'm going to wait until Wes gets home to use that because he feels like he's missing all the fun stuff. So thank you, both of you. (Also, Wes's dad finally passed on the web baby shower information to that side of the family.)

I guess that's about it here. I'm just worn out and counting the days until 1) Wes gets home, 2) the baby is born.

Thank you for listening

2008-09-11T07:47:00.004-05:00

Thank you for listening to my rant. I feel better. Kind of. It's mostly Wes's family that's pulling the "we want to get you stuff" game, and really it's his dad, because I don't know how to get a hold of the rest of the family because he refuses to give me phone #'s and e-mails because he is lazy (that really is the truth) and I doubt he has forwarded any of the e-mails and information I have sent him and requested him to forward, again, because he is lazy. Yet, he tells me every time we talk that they all want to help. So, I sent Wes an e-mail and told him he could deal with it, it's his family. Now, I refuse to worry about it. I'm going to do what I need to do.

Yesterday I got my First Aid/CPR certification! YAY!!!! I know I should have done it anyway, but my sister almost died of SIDS when she was born, so I thought it was extra important to get it done.

Today, my parents are coming to visit!!!! They will help calm me down. My dad is going to help me clean/organize the garage (and by help, I mean I will point and he will move stuff) and my mom is going to take me shopping!!! It will be fun for everyone, except maybe my dad. The poor guy LOVES the beach and he likes to golf while he's here and it's predicted to rain ALL WEEKEND. I'm really hoping it'll let up long enough for us to go to the beach, because that would be fun.

I have also discovered a new, very fun game. I used to just watch my belly and the movement. Now, I chase body parts!!!! It's called, how often will Navy Bean move that leg when I touch it. Turns out, until I quit touching it. The poor thing is probably wondering what this giant outside force is trying to do and why won't it just leave her alone! I don't play too often though, I know she'll be able to exact revenge soon.

Well, I should get ready. I'm going to wash my sheets because I can't actually put them on the bed by myself so since my mom's going to be here, she can't do it!!! And again, thank you!

UPDATE******
My husband is wonderful. I just got off the phone with him, and he hadn't gotten my e-mail yet, but I told him everything and he completely agrees with me. He knows his dad and he understands my frustration. He's pretty sure he must have at least one family members' phone# or e-mail address, so he's going to find that and contact them about the situation. And then he'll just talk to his dad when he sees him. So I feel much better. Not to mention that my husband will be home soon.

baby panic rant

2008-09-09T16:11:00.002-05:00

I don't even know where to begin. I feel so stressed out and it's not over just one thing, it's over several. Let's start with Christmas and family, because hey, who stresses you out more than your own family.

I have a never married, childless aunt. I should start by saying she is wonderful, because she is. She makes a lot of her own Christmas presents, she's very generous, and she's fun. She's also stressful. She's the person who usually finishes her Christmas shopping in mid-Feb. and finishes all the homemade stuff by July and no, I am not exaggerating. Christmas is her holiday. She doesn't live close to any of us, so it's the one time of the year that she gets to see us. However, she has been bugging me, pretty much since I told her I was pregnant, about Christmas. Because she needs to know where to ship all the stuff and make flight reservations. Also, my cousin (and his wife and baby) moved to Austin, a couple of hours away from Dallas (ok, I guess about 4 hours) and so this year, his parents (who live in Maryland) and his brother, his girlfriend, sister and her boyfriend will also be in Texas for Christmas. In addition to my parents, my brother, his son, my sister, her husband, my Grandmere, my aunt and her husband, who all live in the Dallas area. Just in case you lost track, that's 19 people, not counting me, Wes, Navy Bean, Victor and Allison. So, my aunt has been trying to figure out how to coordinate all of this, even though in every e-mail she mentions that it's not her responsibility. She even sent an e-mail out with the dates we were "for-sure" going to be in TX, based on an e-mail from me that started, "we haven't cleared this with the x yet." My problem with all of this: 1) I want to spend time with my immediate family. I love my extended family, but the branch from Maryland, I usually only see once every 3 to 5 years. 2) Navy Bean will only be 5 to 6 weeks old. That means she will only do three things, sleep, eat and poop. Those who expect a more interesting show will be disappointed. 3) Victor and Allison are very shy and with that many people around, in addition to a new baby, they may not be that friendly. 4) My husband is in the navy and (they should know this since their dad was in the navy) we may not know what days Wes has off until the week before. 5) if there are complications, we're not coming. 6) We still need to decide how much money we're willing to spend to get there (we're planning on renting a vehicle). 7) that just sounds really stressful (24 hour drive with three kids, one of them an infant). I've just decided to let her plan whatever and then take her wrath when stuff doesn't turn out the way she wants them to (and then never do).

Add to this, Wes's family (woohoo!!!) who celebrate Christmas before Christmas. But we won't be there and so far, they don't really seem that anxious to do any re-arranging, even though they're all retired. Ok, let me rephrase that. When I told Wes's dad when we were thinking about coming, he said, "We'll have already celebrated" and it didn't seem to dawn on him that they could move the celebration. When I suggested it, you would have thought I suggested that Jesus was born in July and not Dec. Yet, they all want to see the baby and the kids too. Then work with us people!!!! We're driving half way across the country with three kids, one who will be less than 2 months old. Good grief. It's enough to make me want to stay here (which is actually what I wanted to do anyway, but my husband already told everyone we were coming).

Add to that: when I first gave dates and Christmas plans to the x, she responded (this is a paraphrase), I don't know if you can handle the kids and the baby so we'll decide closer to Christmas. Who'll decide? You??? Because that's not your choice!!!! Now, she wants to know for sure dates (again, she was with Wes for 8 years, she knows we don't have for sure dates yet).

Ok, so that's the first rant. Are we having fun yet????

Second stress point, slightly related to the first, in that it has to do with family. Most notably, aunts, uncles, grandparents, NOT FRIENDS. I don't want anybody to read this and think I'm talking about them, because I'm not. This specifically has to do with family. Family who call and say, "oh, I know you don't have anything so we want to get you something" and then disappear. Then I'm left wondering, especially after they have implied that they'd like to buy the crib, or something big and/or specific, "what do I do now?" Do I just buy the item and then deal with the "I wanted to get you that," or do I wait and then run out in a panic the day before the baby is born? I also hate those who say, "we'll just wait and see what you need." I don't have anything. I NEED EVERYTHING!!!! I am not going to wake up tomorrow and the baby gift fairy will have magically turned the office into a nursery with only 2 or 3 items still needed. The only way I will get anything is if either you buy it, or I buy it. See how that works??? I'm not worried about clothes. I have enough friends that the baby will be clothed, but I have a large family, one who likes to imply they are close, but yet, um, only my parents and my sister have gotten me anything (I love my brother, but he's a guy, so I'll probably not get anything there). I know I still have 9 weeks to my due date, but at the same time, I don't want to have to go to Target the week before the baby is due to get a ton of stuff I really need. With Christmas so close after the due date, I'm waiting for the "oh, we just thought we'd wait until Christmas to see what you still needed" excuse. Am I supposed to wrap her in a sheet and throw her in a box until then? If it's a need, and not a want, like really cute clothing, we're going to buy it before/soon after she is born. What sucks even more is that my family knows Wes is deployed right now, and I feel like I'm getting support from very few of them. Other than the stress of trying to figure out when we'll be home for Christmas.

Third rant, well, actually more of a fear. The baby is due in Nov. and I know my mom is flying out to help us. YAY!!! Then Wes's dad wants to come out too, after my mom is gone, only he'll view it as more of a visit then helping. And we'll have Wes's kids for Thanksgiving (which is good, I'm not saying that's bad). I'm hoping Wes's dad will come for Thanksgiving too then. Then, of course, is Christmas (which we've already discussed) and then Jan. This is what's freaking me out. Wes will be gone for Jan. and Feb. He'll be home on the weekends, but he'll be gone during the week. When are we going to be able to bond as a family? Just the three of us? (Yes, I know he has kids too, but they don't live here so it is different). Not to mention, since I've struggled with depression for so long, I have that fear, especially since things will be so hectic at first and then it'll just be me and her. I know that'll probably be when she starts smiling, as opposed to having gas bubbles, and she'll start to be awake more and have a personality and all of that, but it's still going to be a huge change, and it scares me a little bit.

Finally, I have this one friend who is driving me crazy. She recently moved out of state and is having a hard time getting a job. So she has a lot of time on her hands. But she calls me EVERY DAMN DAY. If I don't answer, she'll just call back until I do. First, the f word is every other word for her. And I don't really use that word that often. Only when I really need to make a point. Second, she's not working and I stay at home. We have boring conversations. Except, she feels I need to know every damn detail (and see, I don't really use foul language that much at all, and she's driven me to it), like, I met this guy and he had green eyes, and a blond flat-top and huge arms and 3 tattoos (then she will describe all three of them in detail) and he was like, hey, what are you doing? and I was like, oh, not much and on and on and on. Now, I love Camille more than all my friends, but do I talk to her everyday. No!!!! Do I want to talk to her more than I do? HELL YES!!!! Do I want to talk to her everyday? HELL NO!!!! You know why? Because we are both dignified, self-respecting people who realize that for the most part, our lives are boring. We have enough decency, when asked "what did you do today" when we did the same thing we did every other day, to answer, "the usual" and leave it at that. Now, when something other than the usual occurs, then great, I will take the blow by blow account, but really, I don't need to know about all the little crap. So this girl is driving me crazy. And now, she's talking about moving back here!!!! I can't even imagine what it would be like then. When she lived her before, she called me every day. I thought that maybe that would stop once she moved and made new friends. I really don't know what to do about the whole situation.

And now I feel all ranted out. My parents are coming this week, so hopefully that will make me feel better. I'm taking an 8 1/2 hour first aid/CPR course tomorrow, and I'm a little stressed out about that. I have contractions after sitting in church for a couple of hours, how am I going to handle all day? I'll just drink plenty of water I guess. Thank you for listening. I feel much better (or at least tired enough to finally be able to sleep without thinking about it).

That was weak

2008-09-06T09:20:00.003-05:00

IQ called me yesterday freaking out because of Hanna. The navy takes all the ships out for tropical storms/hurricanes, so her husband was leaving. She said she had never been in a tropical storm before. Um, we had one last summer, but the guys were already gone, so she probably didn't even know we had one. She was very concerned about how IQ Jr. would act. I pointed out that he wouldn't know it was a tropical storm and would only freak out if she did, so she might want to keep it under control. They live on the second floor, so at least they didn't have to worry about flooding. I asked if she had plenty of water and food. Yes, she had plenty of water and had gotten lots of soup in case the electricity went out and she couldn't use the microwave. Um, do I really need to point out that she has an electric stove? Instead of pointing that out to her, I asked if she had bread. She did. Good, then there should be no problems.

But, Hanna is turning out to be pretty weak. The navy didn't take the ships out, although I doubt IQs husband is home yet. They probably kept them on the ships over night, just in case. And at 4:00am when I was eating yogurt and watching Comedy Central, it still hadn't started raining. It's rained a little bit this morning, and it has been VERY windy, but it actually looks like it's starting to clear up and might even be sunny soon. I was supposed to take CPR today, but it was cancelled and rescheduled for Wed. So I've just been cleaning. I think we're all going to be ok.

Too cute!

2008-09-04T12:24:00.003-05:00

This is the fun part, the part where really cute stuff starts trickling in. I just got these from my sister. The one on the left is cute (that last word is daddy, just in case you can't see it), but I love the one on the right!!! My own little navy bean. I find myself rubbing my belly and wondering what bumps are: is that a foot, a little fist, perhaps a knee. And then I start to tear up. According to my due date, I have almost 9 weeks left. That's not very long until I can hold her and kiss her and hug her and eat her toes (because that's what baby toes are for!). Occasionally I panic, ok, I panic a lot. What if I'm not a good mom? What if she just has a bad temperment (which would be Wes's fault, of course)? What if I can't figure out what I'm supposed to do? But then I feel better, because I know that I have lots of people who love me and can offer me advise. So, thank you to everyone who has been so supportive and I can't wait to start this next journey together.

And Beth, I will post pictures of my bargains. Got another one today, just don't have a picture of it yet!

Smell the burning

2008-09-03T12:38:00.002-05:00

I am cheap. This is not a surprise to anyone who knows me. I hate spending money (except on boots, boots are worth lots of money). I especially hate spending money on things that um, to put it nicely, I think are a waste of money. For example, weddings, nails, name brand clothing or furniture and especially, baby stuff. First, babies don't know or care how much money you paid for that crib/car seat/high-chair/nursery set/toys, you get the picture. Second, babies don't really need half the stuff we claim they need. If you think they do, travel to any other country in the world and see what they give their kids and how many of them survive. Third, babies don't know if anyone else has spit-up or pooped in their baby stuff. Therefore, I am trying to spend as little as possible and only on necessary items. The only thing I have purchased new is the travel system (stroller/car seat) because safety does come first. And my parents actually bought it for me. And I got it at the NEX, so it was about $50 less than it would have been anywhere else (I'm not supposed to discuss how much money we can save at the NEX, but just remember, my husband is gone ALL THE TIME, so I deserve cheaper stuff). My next door neighbor gave me a high chair (I tried to pay her for it, but she wouldn't have it) and I troll the local consignment store about once a week. I've managed to snag a $80 swing for $35 and a $18 bathtub for $5. I check up on Craig's list every couple of hours, and there, I have managed to get a breast pump ($40 less than the store and still in the box), a bumbo seat and a play-mat (total of $30 off of store prices). Um, that is actually all I have at this point. But I'm working on it.

The point is, I don't work and I have the time to try to save money. I've talked to other moms and I'm trying to figure out what I really need. And, I've talked to IQ about all of this. I've taken her to the consignment store and when I've picked up stuff off of Craig's list. But does she listen? Noooooooooo!!! Before IQ Jr. was born, they went and bought a bassinet (more than $100) and a stroller (they thought it came with the car seat. It didn't). They didn't do any research and they didn't go to the NEX. After IQ Jr. was born (who is adorable, by the way, I babysat the other night and his smile will just make you melt), they went to the store and bought a swing. At full price. The expensive swing. And they've only put IQ Jr. in it once. It's not that he didn't like it, they just choose never to use it. I told IQ that we weren't getting a bassinet because we wanted to get a pack n' play with a bassinet on it (we travel a lot, this made more sense). Thus, the next time we went to Target, she decided she needed a pack n' play. No, I don't know why. I even told her that could find one on Craig's list for half the price. She didn't care. At least they actually use it. So, IQ Jr. is getting bigger (he's 4 months) so they needed a crib. I told her that both the consignment place and Craig's list had great cribs for pretty cheap. Did they do that? No. Did they buy a full price crib at Target or go to the NEX? No. They went to the place in the strip mall next to their apartment where they paid (are you sitting down?) $550 for a new crib. Yes, you read that right. They paid Five Hundred and Fifty dollars for a new crib, and the place won't even deliver it, they have to pick it up, and I'm willing to bet it doesn't include a mattress. I just checked Target and Babies r Us and they both have a HUGE number of cribs for between $150 and $300. And they deliver.

As I mentioned before, I'm having a hard time suffering fools. I actually told them that they got ripped off and it was stupid to not only pay that much for a crib, but to pay full price. IQ responded, Well, this is a three-in-one crib and this way if we have another kid, they can use it. Yes, because if I buy a cheaper or used crib, I can't reuse it!!! The sad part: they take such bad care of their stuff that the crib will be trashed before they can even think of having another kid (which I pray to God they never do). I guess it's their money and they can do with it what they want, but good grief. I hope you can use that three-in-one crib until the kids turns 18.

Why having IQ can kill your brain

2008-08-30T10:26:00.003-05:00

I'm sure many of you are aware that it is Labor Day weekend, which means, just about everyone gets Monday off from work. I was talking to IQ about the weekend, and she complained that Mr. IQ had a short weekend. I asked if he had duty this weekend (when they have to spend 24 hours on the ship, "guarding" it). She said no. I pointed out that he got Monday off, right?!? Yes, he does. Well, doesn't that mean he has a three day weekend when normally he would only have a two day weekend. Yes, yes it does. Well, doesn't that make it a long weekend, instead of a short weekend? But, she pointed out, he didn't get a whole week off. No, no he doesn't because it is called a weekEND, meaning, just the end of the week, not the entire week. And then my brain exploded.

I honestly think that she believes that if Mr. IQ wasn't in the Navy, he wouldn't ever have to go to work. Seriously.

How big?

2008-08-28T19:12:00.003-05:00

I would like to say thank you to those of you who have offered to send me gifts. I really appreciate it, and it makes me feel guilty. I'm not good with giving gifts. I'll make you banana bread and bring it to you, clean your house and babysit for you, but gifts, I'm not so good at. And since you all live far, far away, making you banana bread, cleaning your house and babysitting your babies really isn't practical. So thank you. You make me feel special.

Today I had an appointment with a fetal medicine doctor. I have this weird placenta thing (I have an extra one: do you think I could sell it on Craig's list?). Anyway, they're afraid that the cord may be in a weird place and therefore, the baby may not be growing enough. I was a little nervous for a couple of reasons. First, (if I've already said this, sorry) Wes's ship gets back on Oct. 7th. Then it leaves again on Nov. 7th for three weeks. I'm due on Nov. 8th. Wes was told that if I have the baby after Nov. 7th, he doesn't have to leave with the ship. He would be able to stay here for THREE WHOLE WEEKS!!!! WITHOUT WORKING!!!! However, if I have the baby before the ship leaves on Nov. 7th, he has to go with it (even if I have the baby on Nov. 6th, unless we could hide it). But if the baby isn't getting the nourishment she needs, they would induce early, which means Wes would have to go. That would be horrible. Second (and this probably should have been first), I want my baby to be healthy. Third, I had this fear they would tell me it's actually a boy. Not that I don't want a boy, but I've already told everyone it's a girl and we have a name picked out and now I want a girl.

Sooooo, it's still a girl!!! Which is exciting. And, the baby is normal size. Matter of fact, according to all the pregnancy web sites and books, she's actually really kind of big. But the doctor said she is a completely normal size. They said she weighs 3 lbs, 13 oz. And they confirmed where she is (I mean, besides my tummy). Her head is on my left side, a little below my belly button and her body and butt are on my upper right hand side. She's rolled around and kicked, but she hasn't actually moved from this position for about a month (although she is moving down, which is good). Although the doctor was my mom's age, I don't think he's ever seen a placenta like mine before. He seemed very, well, not confused, but just surprised. So I guess I'm special. Anyway, for now, things look good, and I go back in a month, just to make sure.

The difficulties of cooking pasta

2008-08-26T13:45:00.002-05:00

As this pregnancy moves along, and I get bigger and bigger, and more and more uncomfortable, I find it harder and harder to suffer fools. This makes it quite difficult to spend time with IQ, talk to IQ, think about IQ. So I thought if I told some IQ stories, it would make me feel better.

I first met IQ the week Wes and I eloped. There was a formal naval dinner (and I looked great!) for all the officers and their wives/girlfriends. Wes's ship is fairly small, so I literally met everyone there. When he introduced me to Mr. IQ and IQ, he mentioned I was working on my Ph.D. IQ looked at me, with all sincerity, and said, "hey that's cool, because I'm working on my bar tending licence." We moved away and I looked at Wes and asked, "Did she seriously just compare working on a Ph.D to getting a bar tending licence?" Yes, yes she did. I vowed that I would try to stay away from her after that.

The next interaction I had with her was more than a year later. The ship was deployed and our two husbands were being flown back to attend school in Rhode Island. Now, IQ doesn't drive, but like me, she wanted to spend some time with her husband. I offered to drive her back from Rhode Island. She couldn't help drive, but at least she could help me stay awake. I figured I would just make the best of it. I learned several things that day. First, she grew up in foster care because her parents didn't know how to take care of her. Second, she is aware that she is learning disabled (and blames everything she doesn't want to do on that, but that's a different story) and third, she wants to be a cook and start her own restaurant.

I love to cook! Great, we have something in common. We can talk about that!!! Yay!!! So, what do you like to cook? Her: Well, I've made soup before. Me: What kind of soup? Her: I don't remember. Me: um, ok, anything else? Her: I can make spaghetti. And that was the end of that conversation because apparently, that's all she knew how to cook.

After the guys completed the 6 week school, they had to go back to the ship. They were gone like 2 weeks before they got back. I took IQ to the pier to get the guys. She was very upset because her husband had duty, meaning, he wasn't able to come home. Her: I'm so mad!!! I can't believe he has duty. And I bought him his favorite Hungry Man for dinner too. So said the woman who wants to be a cook.

Over the next couple of months, I discovered that she doesn't actually cook ANYTHING!!! And what she does "cook" is stuff from the frozen food section and she microwaves it (including mashed potatoes. Who doesn't make their own mash potatoes?)!!! Several times I would tell her what "exotic" food I was cooking and she would complain that it took too long or was too hard or what is Indian food anyway. If you wanted to be a cook, wouldn't you actually cook stuff? Once she showed me the syllabus to the cooking school she wanted to attend (and I have to give her credit for actually taking the initiative and doing something, because, as my next IQ blog will show, she never actually does anything). I noticed that one of the classes was only about weights and measures. IQ had told me that she wasn't very good at math (actually, she told me her family had gotten her a leap frog math game to help her). I pointed out that that would be a very difficult class for her (and for me). She laughed and said that because of her disability, she didn't have to take the class and they would just have to understand that. I didn't feel the need to explain to her that that is NOT how the American with disabilities act works (after working at a university as a TA, I kind of know how it works). I knew she would never actually get to school anyway.

Fast forward ahead to this year. She wants me to come over for dinner. She is making spaghetti. I try to ignore the fact that her house is disgusting (more on that next post). I figured she knew how to make spaghetti, since she told me she did. I get there, there's a big pot of water on the stove. Every couple of minutes she would yell for Mr. IQ to come check the water to see if it was time to put the spaghetti in. Apparently, she can't tell when water is boiling. Finally, it was good enough. So she put it in. Then, after that, she kept yelling at him to tell her when it was done. She doesn't make her own sauce, she opened up a jar of sauce. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with jarred sauce, except for the fact that she claims she wants to be a cook and she claimed that she knows how to make spaghetti. Then she made pudding, and again, had to ask Mr. IQ if it was done (it was instant pudding). Overall, a very interesting night. All I can say, if you ever see a restaurant owned by IQ, don't eat there.

A few bright spots

2008-08-24T06:32:00.002-05:00

I haven't written anything lately because it would look like this: I'm so uncomfortable!!! I can't sleep!!! It's hard to clean my house!!! I miss my husband!!! I have no baby stuff, no one to throw me a shower and a baby that will be here soon!!! And really, who wants to read that?

The house is slowly getting under control. I had a yard sale yesterday and sold a whopping $2.50 worth of stuff. So I divided the stuff up and I'm going to call the people who recycle computer stuff to come pick up that stuff, I have the stuff that will go to Goodwill and then the stuff I'm going to try to sell on Craig's list. Because I had more than 15 sweaters out there and nice business casual clothes. Now that I live in Virginia instead of Wisconsin, I don't really need 25 sweaters and since I'd gained weight before I got pregnant, I'll never fit in those size 2 khakis again (at least, I really hope not. I was too skinny). But I might as well try to get some money of that stuff. I have baby stuff I need to buy!

I updated my baby registry yesterday. I really am trying to keep it simple, but I still ended up with 47 items on my list. Now, a lot of that is burp clothes, blankets, bibs, you know, small stuff. But, I also need some really big stuff, like, I don't know, a place for the baby to sleep (I'm not doing co-sleeping because I have a huge fear of rolling over and smothering the baby). My husband's side of the family keeps telling me they're going to get me something, but I don't know what that is. A crib, a swing, a pack of diapers, pacifiers, what? And I don't want to buy a crib and then get the gripe that "We were going to get you that." Well, it would have been nice to know. I guess I just need to call my father-in-law and tell him that I'm not having a shower and then plain out ask what they were planning on getting us. Don't get me wrong, friends have already gotten me stuff, so it's not like I won't have anything, I just won't get to open up stuff with friends and family here and have cake. And, when updating my registry, I noticed that almost 10 items (relatively big items, like the swing, the pack n' play and all the nursery stuff) is temporarily out of stock. So now I think I'm going to register at Babies r us in addition to Target, because maybe their baby stuff is in stock. Who knows? (Also, if you're reading this and wondering why I did not register for baby clothes, it's because everyone likes to buy little girl clothes, and I didn't want to dictate the fun of that. But I should add, we have no baby clothes.)

Now, on to the bright spots. My husband called me after 4 days of not hearing from him. Yay! I got to talk to my friend Tiffany after playing phone and e-mail tag for a week or two. Yay! The gym's pool opened back up. Triple yay!!! I love to swim. And, to top everything off, I discovered that Ben and Jerry's makes frozen yogurt!!! In chocolate fudge brownie flavor!!! Life can't get any better than that!!!

It's not grandma's, but it's home

2008-08-18T17:57:00.003-05:00

I made it home!!! Only 45 minutes later than I was supposed to (thanks thunderstorm!) which means I got home at midnight. After sitting in a car for 4 hours and then a plane for 4 hours, I didn't do much yesterday. I did go get groceries and discovered, to my delight, that the commissary now carries Virginia grown produce, so I didn't have to make a separate trip to the local farmers' market. However, upon getting home, I realized my air conditioner wasn't working. Thankfully they were able to get it fixed on the same day. But let's look at some pictures of my Minnesota trip!

This is my grandma, brother and Phoenix

The two girls are cousins' kids and then Phoenix (who is a year older than both of them)

We took the middle one to church with us, and everyone thought she was mine because we look alike. Half of us cousins got the Scandinavian coloring of my grandma and all look alike.

My cousin's husband, her baby, (who is adorable) my cousin Shante and me.

Shante is the cousin I feel closest to and spend the most time with (she drove me the four hours to my grandma's and then back again).

Here is the quilt that I made!

I had a great time in Minnesota, but it was also a little sad. When I go, I usually have grandma all to myself for most of the time. But now (or after the birth of Navy Bean) it won't be that simple. It'll be harder to get there and I'll have to share my grandma! I want my baby to know her though, because, other than my mom, she has been the most influential and important woman in my life. I love my grandma so much and I hope she's around for another 20 years or so (it could happen. She has had several family members make it past 100).

But, I am glad to be home. I am still really uncomfortable, but the little Navy Bean has decided that under my ribs is not very comfortable. I'm trying to clean my house, but not just clean it, spring clean it. This is a little difficult because of all the breaks I have to take, my lack of flexibility and the fact that I just can't lift very much. The good news it, I don't have anything else to do until she is born. I'm hoping this time both flies by and stands still.

Time flies when someone's kicking you

2008-08-11T14:40:00.002-05:00

I have hit the final trimester, otherwise known as, the time when you will never be comfortable. Ever. No matter what you try to do, walk, stand, sit, lie down, stretch, whatever, it will hurt somewhere. I have discovered my tailbone. And it hurts. Now I know some of that weight I gained went to my butt, so why isn't it working like a cushion. My grandma was delighted the other day when I placed her hand on my belly and she got kicked about 4 times in less than 10 seconds, but then she asked, alarmed, "What is she doing in there?" I'm not really sure. Moving furniture? I think we may need to change her name from Navy Bean to Jumping Bean. The kicks and hits are coming from farther and farther places on my belly, and I noticed, today, for the first time, that she is obviously trying to place her small body in even smaller places she has never ventured before. Like under my ribs. Maybe that's where she's putting the couch.

This week we watched my cousin's four year old daughter. The first day, she played with the balloons from my grandma's birthday for about an hour. After a while, I got up to walk into the kitchen and she looked at me very strangely. "Hey, is that a balloon under your shirt?" "No, it's a baby." Then she looked at me even more strangely. She placed a balloon under her shirt. "Hey, is that a baby under your shirt?" "Noooooo! It's a balloon."

I am now working on a quilt. We'll see how much I get done before I leave. I'm hoping enough that I can figure out how to finish it when I get home. Well, that's about it here for now.

That's just great!

2008-08-06T14:33:00.002-05:00

I am using the internet at the library of a small, rural Minnesota farming community. I cannot get into facebook, because apparently, too may people post naked pictures of themselves on facebook. However, since all my facebook friends are either relatives or people I met at church in Wisconsin, not being able to get there is a tad bit ironic. Also, I cannot get to one of the blogs I normally read. Check out my links and guess which one! But at least I can check e-mail and post stuff here.

My grandma's 80th birthday party went great. Well, as great as a party, organized by the most anal retentive bitchy (I didn't say that!) relative that no one likes can be. She managed to really piss my mom off, but she didn't cry or hit her (I would have done both and gotten away with it, because I'm pregnant!). Seeing all the family was wonderful, although I didn't have as much time with some of my cousins as I would have liked. Funnily, I was able to spend more time with my brother here than when I go home (we shared a motel room, and at home there's always 50 people around). That was really nice. However, I am tired of all the women in my grandma's generation, who haven't had babies in 50 years, tell me how huge I am. I don't know how many times I had to verify that yes, I'm only 6 months, there's only one, and yes I know for sure the conception date because my husband is in the navy and is never home, thus, very easy to figure out when it happened. Besides, I CAN STILL SEE MY STUPID FEET, so I'm not that big (I cannot however, reach them very easily). But they're all gone now, so I don't have to worry about it. Now, I'll just make sure I walk plenty and eat as well as I can.

Well, I hope everyone is well. Who knows when I will get back here again to update.

Birds, birds, everywhere

2008-07-31T15:15:00.003-05:00

Turns out Florida is a great place to go bird watching. I identified 13 new birds in one week. I probably could have done more, but the one day my husband and I went bird watching, he tried to kill me by making me go on a 3 mile hike with 1000% humidity and then got us lost. I spent most of the hike trying not to pass out or push my husband into all the huge spider webs we were passing (this would have killed him, as he is deathly afraid of spiders). Good times! Thank god for Gatorade.

This is a juvenile tri-colored heron

ok, this picture proves I need a better camera

This is a pileated woodpecker and it looks like Woody the Woodpecker

This is an Anhinga

Obviously I did not get pictures of all the birds I saw. Lucky for you. Today I've been running around trying to get everything done before I leave tomorrow. I'm going to rural Minnesota, otherwise known as the place that my cell phone doesn't work and no one has wireless to steal. I'm going to try to get a couple of extra blogs written before I leave, but I have a feeling that won't happen. I also got caught in the rain today. And did I mention that even though we still have our credit cards, someone else has been using them too. Fun times, trying to get that cleared up! And the cab comes to get me at 5:30am. Yes, you read that right. So, if you don't hear from me for a couple of weeks, I'm ok. Probably just a little bored!

Florida wildlife

2008-07-30T13:50:00.003-05:00

In addition to birds (which I'll get to tomorrow) Florida has a wide variety of wildlife.

There were lizards everywhere!

This guy was alive and it was amazing to watch it move!

This guy was actually dead, but I saw more than one of them!

This is close as the crabs would let you get.

We also saw a raccoon, in the middle of the day, walking down the golf course sidewalk. Yes, the sidewalk. It was one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen. I found a couple of shells that I kept too, including a sand-dollar (which I should find to make sure it didn't break on the way back home). And did I mention the dolphins that swam by a couple of times a day? They were pretty cool as well. I am still sad that the only alligator I saw was far, far away and I only saw him because I had my binoculars. I wish I could have gotten a picture of one. I guess I'm just going to have to go back (the locals all looked at me like I was crazy when I kept asking about where to see alligators).

My contractions have stopped. Unfortunately the pool at the gym was closed today, but I am feeling much better. I'm still taking it easy though and drinking enough water to float away. I went to Goodwill and bought a couple of cute tops for my next trip. Before I left for Florida, people thought I looked too small for how far along I was (I'm 25 weeks now). Now, they're commenting that they doubt I'll make it to my due date. Thanks! But as my husband said, I look huge because I'm tiny to begin with and everything I've gained has gone to my tummy (and my cottage cheese thighs, but we're just ignoring them right now). Someone tried to convince me I was having a boy because of how I'm carrying, even arguing with the two ultrasounds that prove otherwise! I can tell that the third trimester is going to be ever so much fun when it comes to the public!

Besides getting a couple of cute tops, I also enrolled in a couple of classes. Many things about the navy sucks, but they do try to provide support for their families. I have already taken a budgeting for baby class (for free) that offered about $100 worth of free baby stuff (I have crib sheets, but no crib!). Today I signed up for a breastfeeding class and a baby boot camp class (both free!). Who knows if I'll learn anything, but since I feel like I don't know anything right now, I think I'll get something out of them (and more free stuff on top of it). It's too early to sign up for October's childbirth classes, so I'll do that when I get home from Minnesota. I also signed up for a Red Cross First Aid/CPR for adults, infants and children class. I know I could just sign up for the shorter Infants CPR, but I figured the extra knowledge wouldn't hurt (my sister was a SIDs baby that survived). That class isn't free, but I think very worth it. I know everyone keeps telling me that once the baby is here nothing I've learned will apply anyway, but I'm hoping some of it will be useful! Did I mention that I love watching my tummy now! But she is a little stinker and she knew when her daddy was trying to feel her move. She would wait him out and then move about half a second after he got tired! I'm going to have a handful!

I'm back and I have wireless!

2008-07-29T14:08:00.003-05:00

I guess I'll start at the beginning. The place we stayed at in Florida had wireless, it just never worked for more than 4 minutes at a time, making it difficult to post a blog.

So, Wes's kids did not know he was coming home for two days. On Friday morning I told them I had to pick a friend up from the airport. On the way to the airport, peppered with questions, I told them it was a guy, which seemed to shock them, but that he had gone to high school with their dad and I. And, I hadn't seen him in a while, but he had told me he had grown a ridiculous looking mustache (they get bored on the ship, and what better time to look ridiculous than when he's not with me). I spotted him right away and pointed out the ridiculous looking mustache to the kids. They were in shock. Almost as much shock as when I told them I was pregnant. They were also afraid of the mustache. I'm sure you'll understand why. I made him shave it the second we got home and then the rest of the weekend was spent on the go. It went by quickly and then we dropped the kids off and head to Florida!

A very ridiculous looking mustache!

You can't tell I've gained 21 lbs from this picture!

Our hotel was right on the beach. It took about 3 minutes to walk down there. I was able to watch dolphins from our balcony everyday! Wes had to work during the day, so I would take a walk on the beach in the morning and then read in the afternoon until he got off work. We went to the beach a couple of times and did some bird watching (that will be another post).

Doesn't he look better without that thing on his face?

My friend Sarah and I.

My friend Sarah, who moved at the beginning of June, was there visiting her husband too, so we all went out to dinner. Overall, I really liked Florida and it was wonderful getting to see my husband. On the morning I left, he cried (well, he teared up and when I asked him if he were crying, he just said I should probably leave right away).

I'm back home, after a 10 and a 1/2 hour drive yesterday. Which is why I've been having contractions all day today. They go away if I don't move and drink lots of water, but sometimes, I get tired of lying in bed! I had a doctor's appointment this morning and they basically said it was probably the drive, but contact someone if they don't eventually go away. They better go away, I leave on Friday for another 2 weeks! I plan on writing my posts before I leave so when I do get internet access, I'll just be able to post without writing.

Is the week over yet?

2008-07-17T12:07:00.002-05:00

Things are going well with the kids, but I could really use a nap. I am exhausted!!! The kids (up until today, at least) have been getting along great. However, today, they just seem tired of each other. It's also Allison's birthday today, so it's a great day to be mean to her. They've been going to VBS all week, but today was the last day. And while they were gone, instead of taking naps, I did useless things like run errands, go to the grocery store, clean the house. You know, stuff like that. I did buy my super, deluxe travel system, but it's still in the box. Yesterday the kids made stuff for the baby, so that was good, but I'm ready for a nice long nap and at least a 1/2 to read without interruption. Tomorrow Wes gets here, which the kids don't know. So the next two days will be hectic and then Sunday we drive to Florida (without the kids). If you don't hear from me for a week, it's because I'm soaking up the sun on the beach!

That didn't go so bad!

2008-07-14T10:12:00.002-05:00

Apparently I'm not as huge as I feel. I had originally decided to wear a tight shirt, one to show off my belly, to pick up the kids, but then decided maybe something a bit more subtle would be better. I guess it was too subtle. I had to tell Wes's x I was pregnant. Even she couldn't tell. We were talking over the kids' heads because I told her I wanted to tell them later. She congratulated me and then asked if it was planned. Hmmmmm???? I wonder why she asked?

We were eating lunch when I told the kids. Allison was very happy, but Victor thought I was joking and he didn't think it was funny. I finally pulled my shirt up to show him my belly. Then, he was just "shocked", and remained so for most of the day. Apparently he "wasn't expecting it." Allison was thrilled that it's a girl. Victor just rolled his eyes. They did have questions, but not the ones I was expecting. I had to explain several times that, no, your mom will not be the baby's step mom, your step dad will not be the baby's step dad and your stepbrothers are in no way related to the baby. I think they finally got it. Then they wanted to know who knew I was pregnant first (um, me!) and if we wanted a baby (yes!), will daddy be home for the birth (he better be!) and if they would be here for that (probably not).

Victor did make one very strange comment (several times). He told Allison not to get too excited because the baby could die when it was born, because that happens all the time. I explained that it does happen in poor countries like Africa, where there aren't enough doctor's or medicine, but that in America, it doesn't happen very often. I don't know if he was hoping or if he was worrying about it. Later he got very upset when he realized we have stairs and what if the baby falls down them and gets hurt?!? Well, we'll get a baby gate.

Allison wanted to know what we're going to name the baby. About two hours later she told me she thought Navy Bean was a beautiful name. I'm glad she approves. Victor wanted to know how we could name the baby without knowing what it looks like. A good point, but since we don't really have a back-up name, Navy Bean it will be. Victor also wanted to know what she would look like, so we talked about how Wes and I looked and how that might make the baby look. Allison wanted to know if it would be crawling when they came to see the baby at Thanksgiving (I'm due the 8th of Nov.) and I had to tell her no. Victor quickly pointed out to her that she wasted her time hoping for a little sister to play with since it wouldn't be able to play for several years. So then we discussed what kind of playing they could do with the baby.

Now, all these conversations have been spread out over a couple of days. It's not been baby time 24 hours a day. We've also played hero scape, monopoly, life, uno, and kids' trivial pursuit. But, the baby finally moved yesterday when the kids were right there so I let them feel it (they wanted to know how I knew it was the baby). They looked at me like I was that guy from Alien, you know, the one who has the alien pop out of his chest. I think it freaked them out just a little bit. Today, we're going to go to Target so they can see what I registered for. Allison actually wants to buy something for the baby, but I think we'll wait on that. Maybe I'll just have her draw a picture for the baby's room or something like that.

Oh, Victor did say at one point that he was scared when I told them I was pregnant. He didn't elaborate, but I told him that the baby didn't change how much we loved them, how much we wanted to see them and that we still want them to come live with us. I guess things are still not much better over there. Matter of fact, he was telling me that his mom thinks he's going to flunk out of middle school and because of this, he's not sure if he'll be smart enough to go to college (he's 10 and going into 5th grade. While school is important, I don't think this is the best way to impart that). He's also back on his medication because they didn't want to deal with teaching him how to handle his emotions (that's really pretty much what she said). So, even though it went well, I know that it's not always going to go this well. But this is a good start.

Say what now?

2008-07-12T07:08:00.003-05:00

I'm going to get my husband's kids today. I haven't seen them since my husband left, since his x doesn't see any reason in driving them 1 1/2 hours just to see me (they live 3 hours away). I understand this, yet, my husband and I are really trying to instill in them that we are all a family, and if they're never here, how does that work? But right now, my main issue, my main fear, is that they don't know I'm pregnant. Yes, various people think we should have e-mailed them, or called them and just told them. But we want to be in charge of that conversation and that situation, and we wanted to give them time with just us (or me) to ask questions, talk about their fears, and try to make it feel normal. Yes, we are afraid of what his x might say to the kids. We've heard enough from the kids to know that she is not always honest with them about the divorce, about my husband's career, about the entire situation. Why wouldn't she try to twist this into something bad as well. Now, don't get me wrong. She doesn't talk bad about my husband and when he's home, we get the kids as much as we want. However, when it comes to the divorce, she obviously can't tell the truth (well kids, Anthony was just better in bed and he told me he had a lot more money than your dad, so I left) (Also, I am not indicating that I believe Anthony is better in bed. I have met Anthony and I actually have a hard time imagining Anthony having sex with a woman.). Therefore, the reasons she gives the kids for the divorce are just ludicrous: he choose the navy over the kids, he pays the navy to work there, so he doesn't have any money (which is why we pay an arm and leg in child support), he doesn't love the kids, that's why she left (and gee, that's why we get them as much as possible, because we don't want them). I'm just wondering how this is going to go over. Yes, the kids knew we wanted more kids, but that doesn't mean they understood we would have them, or how that would change their lives. So I'm a bit worried. But I'm going to try to make it as good and exciting as possible. Send good thoughts my way.

Pack it up!

2008-07-09T07:37:00.003-05:00

The baby's room, otherwise known as the office, is slowly, but surely, getting cleaned and organized. I almost cried when I had to pack up most of my books though. I only packed the books I have read, but still, how do I know I won't want to read Achebe, Conrad, Dickens, Atwood, or any of my other old favorites. I felt like I was packing up my friends. My husband assures me it is only temporary, and I know it is. Not to mention the close to 200 books I didn't pack up because I haven't read them yet, or the three tall bookshelves in the dining room that are filled with my Russian literature and history books (yes, I've read almost all of these). Those, I just can't pack. Thankfully, I don't have to. But it is slowly sinking in that my life is about to radically change. This time, two years ago, I was working on a dissertation proposal, looking forward to doing a year long research trip to Russia and hoping that someday I would be a professor. Now, I'm 5 1/2 months pregnant, have two step-kids, and a husband who is a naval officer. I want to eventually become a middle school teacher, but really want to be a stay at home mom first. Life is funny. And I'm very happy, but very scared as well.

This is my first baby. We have no baby things. My husband's kids are 10 and 7 and even if they had kept the baby stuff, they would have gotten rid of it during the divorce. Several people have asked me about a baby shower. I don't think I'm going to have a baby shower. You see, I'm not really that good at making friends. I lived in Texas for 14 years and the only friend I took away with me (other than my husband, but he was more like an acquaintance for the 15 years before we got married) is Camille. And I love Camille with all my heart and she more than makes up for any lack of friends on my part. In Madison, it was easy for me to make friends. We were all in graduate school together. I actually made a lot of friends there, people I'm still in touch with, even though hardly any of us are in Madison now. But here, here it's been harder. When you're a substitute teacher, you move around and don't stay anyplace long enough to make friends. And every time another navy wife and I become friends, they end up moving away. IQ doesn't really count as a friend. But, I finally met someone I really like and someone who wasn't in the navy and someone who wanted to give me a baby shower (one of the navy wife's did too, but then she moved). I met this person through IQ but she is smart and funny and I really like her. She's moving next week to California. Go figure. So, that leaves nobody to give me a baby shower. I go to church and I'm in a Sunday school class, but it's a hard way to make real friends. I'm a little disappointed about not having a baby shower, but I know I'll be getting packages from all over the country (and maybe the world). I'd still like to have a friend who lives here though. Camille, why can't you move here???